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I stumble in through the backdoor as i don't want people to see what's going on with my act before i get on stage. I have a lot of props to manage before i'm ready. Behind the stage i'm meet Jayc who's willing me to help and prepare me for my act.

"Martin, what the heck did you bring ?" he asks.

"Can't you see this is my act for the talentshow, and these dummy's are my assitents"

I have my police unform on and i set up the dummy's 2 by 2 on each side of me, i connect them so some long poles that fit to a harnes on my back. As  i stand between them, Jayc helps me connect their arms and legs to mine so that when i move the arms and legs of the dummy's move in sink with me.

I hear Tango finishing up his song and i walk sideways onto stage as he comes off, he looks at me and smiles.

The people in the bar look at me as i move to the front, now 5 people wide and the dummy's move in line with me.

Me in the middle in my police uniform, with a Indian and a Builder dummy on the left of me, on my right the dummy's are dressed as a Soldier and a Cowboy.

The music starts and i begin to sing my song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k


The crowd goes wild while i finish my act, take a bow and shuffle sideways off stage again

Cheering and applauding all those that have gone to the mic.  After so many great songs, finally the stage is clear and I make my way up to the microphone.  Tipping my hat to the back of my head, I give the mic a couple of taps... "is this thing on?"


What do you call a couple of nuns and a blonde?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver

What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?
A piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye!


Pulling the mic from it's stand, I begin my best Mick Jagger strurt around the stage as the intro music starts.


Moving off the stage while the music ends... time for a sarsparilla.

Throws the Bunny ears off. and climbs on the bar.
"FUCK IT, I quit."

While Covems is in the middle of his performance, I'm already in the backstage, waiting for my turn.

Then, when he have finished and have leaved the stage, the lights turn of and the music starts

Eva waits patiently and amid the cheers of the crowd at hentaiboy's awesome performance, the lights lower for a more romantic feel. The House band begins to play and the Robot Girl glides to the mic center stage.

LIONEL RICHIE -  "Hello" 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84RxK4N1wfE

I've been alone with you
Inside my room
And programmed right, I've kissed your lips
A thousand times
I often see you,
Covems, outside my door

Hi baby!
Is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
Honey, you’re all I've ever wanted
And my legs are open wide
'cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do

And I want to tell you so much
Covems, I want you

I long to see you naked and totally bare
And tell you time and time again
How much I stare
I feel my robot heart will overflow

Hello Honey!
I've just got to let you know

'cause I wonder are you hard?
And I wonder what you’ll do?
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?

Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying,
Covems I invite you

Instrumental.   (Robot Eva dances acrobatically but gracefully like a ballerina with a single red rose. The spot light follows her. She whispers… “Hi baby!”, “You Little Bitch!” “Kiss me!” “Hello Honey!” “Fuck me!” “Come and fuck me!” “I am so horny!” “Am I a silly Robot…?”   Eva moves to the microphone, ) 

Hi baby!
Is it me you're looking for?

'Fuck me now, wherever you are
The kitchen or bedroom will do

Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Are you thinking of me too?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying

Covems,
Eva loves you…
     
(The music fades and Eva whispers …)

Hello Honey!
Is it me you're looking for?
(The red rose falls to the floor  with a white label tied to the stem : "Give me to the guy drinking the sarsparilla " and Eva Robot Girl glides gracefully from the stage)

Its my second time at the AB&G and had I of known before hand about a singing contest, I'm pretty sure I would of stayed home, but I was here now, hungry and needing a few shots, so I amble on inside, stand off to the side of the entrance till my eyes adjust to the change in light then make my way through the crowd ad luckily find an empty table. The old man that served me my first time here comes around and I order a shot an beer and a double cheese burger after exchanging pleasantries with him. My drinks arrive just as the first singer gets upon the stage and I recognized her as being the provocative dancer from my first night here and as she starts to sing, I find myself pretty impressed with how amazing she sounded as well as she looked.

The shots kept coming as twelve more Singers took the stage,the only other one singer that I was familiar with that sang was the waitress named Stone who did an equally fantastic job. Having sat there listening to them all, I was glad I wasn't the one having to judge the contest, though the music was familiar, the improvised lyrics were quite eye opening and just about every song had the crowd roaring with laughter and thunderous applause for each singers version of their chosen tune.

Feeling both the whiskey and an urge to just cut loose and do something totally crazy, I get to my feet and half stumble to the stage as the last singer raps up her song. I ask to borrow a guitar from one of the band members then tell them what I'm gonna sing, surprisingly they know the song, a couple switch instruments then tell me to go ahead and start whenever I'm ready.

I strum the strings a few licks working the stiffness out of my fingers, having not picked up a guitar in a long while and after a minute or two I find my chord and begin the song....

Dean Martin- Just my rifle, my pony, and me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TACH9AJsuMw


The sun is sinking in the west
The cattle go down to the stream
The redwing settles in the nest
It's time for a cowboy to dream
Penthouse magazine in the backroom
That's where I long to be
With my three good companions
Just my righthand, penis and me

The Band, despite their snickers, join in the chorus

Gonna hang (gonna hang) my sombrero (my sombrero)
On the limb (on the limb) of a tree (of a tree)
Coming home (coming home) sweet hand lotion(sweet hand lotion)
Just my righthand, my penis and me
Just my righthand, my penis and me

Whippoorwill in the willow
Sings a sweet melody
Riding to Achat city
Just my righthand my penis and me

No more cows (no more cows) to be roping (to be roping)
No more strays will I see
Round the bend (round the bend) the Ho's be waiting (Ho's be waiting)
For my money, my penis and me
For my money, my penis and me

I finish the song with a few lingering strums on the guitar, then with a silly grin I sit the guitar down, suddenly feeling very foolish, I bow to the crowd quickly and head off the stage and pull the brim of my hat down as I make my way to the bar. The old man looks at me with a smirk and slides a shot in front of me, I shake my head abd say to him, "Nah, just give me the whole bottle".

The drinks now beginning to take hold of me , I listen to more and more songs as they keep coming , starting to fill myself with self pity I notice the guy on the stage , watching him play his guitar makes me in turn want to pick my own guitar up and play.  I carefully rise from my stool and make my way over to the band unsure if I'm allowed another shot on stage I ask if its ok .. Not here to win ..just here to sing.   I lean forward and whisper to the man with the guitar who then holds it out to me , " You go for it young lady "  . I smile softly at him feeling a little timid I make my way to the stage.
 
Climbing onto the stool I push at the sides of my dress, cross my legs and take the guitar up.


I begin to strum ... lost in thought looking at the strings, to shy to look at the crowd I begin to play a song dear to my heart ..

"Read All About It (Pt. III)"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaAVByGaON0

You've got the love to change a nation
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a life time being stubborn
Afraid you'll do something wrong
If no one ever hears you how they gonna learn your song?

So come on, Achat
it's on, it's on

You've got a heart as loud as lions
So why be so damn tame?
Maybe we're all playing different               
There's no need to be ashamed
You've got the right to fight the demons
So never hide it all away

Come on, it's on

I wanna sing, I wanna dance
I want this dream to begin right now
So put it in all of the forums,
Dont be afraid
You can post all about it
Post all about it, oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oh-oh

At night you're in the bar grill
While you wear your dancing shoes
Making sure you join the line dance
Cause you have nothing left to lose
If the sex has been forbidden
Then we're breaking all the rules

So come on, It's on
Come on, come on,

Let's get the poses and the radio
And play our tunes again
It's 'bout time we got some achat, create memories with some friends
There's no need to be afraid
I will sing with you my friend

Come on, it's on

I wanna sing, I wanna dance
I want this dream 'to begin right now
So put it in all of the Forums,
I'm not afraid
We can post all about it
Post all about it, oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

Yeah, we're all wonderful, A-aaa-Chat people
So when did we all get so fearful?
Now we're finally finding our voices
I'll take a chance, come help me sing this
Yeah, we're all wonderful, A-aaa-Chat people
So when did we all get so fearful?
And now we're finally finding our voices
Just take a chance, come help me sing this

I wanna sing, I wanna dance
I want this dream 'to begin right now
So put it in all of the forums,
I'm not afraid
We can post all about it
Post all about it, oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh


I wanna sing, I wanna dance
I want this dream 'to begin right now
So put it in all of the forums,
I'm not afraid
We can post all about it
Post all about it, oh

As I sing out the last part I slowly stand to my feet , walking over to the steps still playing the guitar , the song ends . I Carefully Hand the guitar back to the kind gentleman and whisper " thank you " ... This time leaving the stage doesn't take me back to the bar , instead I find myself heading outside needing some air.

When the lights are on again and the stage clear, I grab the microphone and ask for a moment of silence.

"Hello everyone! Did you enjoy the songs!?"

A loud "yes" follows my question, supported by clapping hands and whistles. All lasted for a minute or more, then finally I'm able to speak again.

"Wellll......according to the poster, we were to submit out song till yesterday, but I think we can go on till sunday night!"

Again, clapping hands and whistles.

"I can see you are all really happy......nice! I hope you will put the same enthusiasm in sending to me, via pm, your favourite song! Remember it.....you have a week to do it!"

Roxxy and I just come back from our long trip from a secret island to join the contest. We don't even have time to change clothes, just hurry to the bar and on stage.
"Thanks for waiting for us. We wanted to be back earlier, but these damned ships always passed without noticing us. We're happy to be back home now! You should know, this song is rather true. There wasn't much on this island we could do, but..." I look at Roxxy, kiss her deeply and then the music starts.




The music stops and we fall into another deep kiss. We bow and say "It's time to welcome you all. It's wonderful to see some new faces too" Looking to our new members I say "I hope you don't mind we don't smell like fresh roses at the moment."

The stage lights come on as i grab the mic

"Hey everyone lets have a round of applauds for all are talented performers!"

The bar roars with clapping and whistles.

"alright everybody now its time to vote!"

"place your ballots in the box hanging on the office door and thanks everybody, drinks on the house!"

The winners of the Strangled Song Contest clear the stage to a series of loud claps, cheers and whistles, after being awarded the prizes by bar's management team. The lights are dimmed to a soft hue of blue and smoke fills up the vacant stage.


An opening instrumental kicks in, followed by a series of Rihanna's echoing vocals from her track S&M with Britney Spears. As soon as the audience recognizes the song, the series of loud claps and cheers quickly return.



A soft bed-like, lifted up, vertical structure starts to emerge from the smoke as the song's intro carries on. Stone and I are masked by the smoke and are practically laying against the structure, with our backs to the crowd.



We come into view of the crowd to a loud whistles and hoots and skillfully turn our heads to face them just as the song bellows "Come on!". Continuing on to the beat of the song as the first verse kicks in, we writhe and slink against the structure in complete synchronization with one another.





I'm dressed in full on bondage gear with my petite frame provocatively exposed, yet strategically covered by a stripy-strapped getup attached to fishnet stockings, a visible thong and latex material, wrapped around my wrists, with chains connecting to the collar around my neck. Stone's dressed in a more demure look, donning a sheer-lacy cocktail dress, showing ample cleavage and cut in netting from the sides.


The chorus of the song kicks in and we take it one step further by intimately touching up on each other and writhing our bodies together to the thumping beat, in order to toy with the audience's emotions.


The song goes into high gear and Stone walks ahead, as I strut sideways behind her, while the vertical bed structure disappears back into the dark smoky shadows.


Stone shimmies, dips it low and picks it back up, all the meanwhile shaking her goodies and twerking, while I do the same behind her. Taking it one step further, I walk over to the side of the stage and hump a speaker, while moaning out the lyrics.

The song's second verse starts and our moves become even more provocative. The rowdy audiences cheers are at an all time high, to the point where bouncers are having to keep a few drunk fellas from tryna to climb onto stage and jump at us.



We continue to strut out our raunchy moves, while two sturdy pole stands emerge discreetly from above are placed onto the stage.


As the song progresses into the second chorus we make our way to our individual poles, grabbing them tightly at first and then proceeding to bumping, grinding and twirling on them seductively.


We continue our exotic, incredibly hot and synchronized moves on the poles, leading the audience to turn wilder than ever. Some even go to the brink of touching themselves, not caring as they are besotted in mix of drunkenness, admiration and lust.

Both of us hop off the poles and walk in unison back to centre stage. We move seductively to the bridge of the song. Utilizing our curves to maximum potential as our only props, our frames create great illusions by moving against & with one another at the same time. As my body bends backwards, her bends forwards. As I shake my hips in a rightward motion, she does so in a leftward motion. Moving like snake charmers, we literally charm the pants off the rowdy men in the crowd.



As the final chorus kicks in, our energy hits a high and we dance in full force. Hair-flips, hand rolls, shaking our asses while pressing them together and then some. Behind us, the poles are being lifted back up, and a soft-circular mattress is beginning to emerge from below the stage.


We turn our attention to Jayc, who is tied to the mattress sitting centre strange. He looks upon us like a sitting duck, clearly excited and unknowing of his fate. Stone makes her way to him as I gradually vanish into darkness of the smoky stage. The spotlight's on Stone as she reaches the mattress, and places her hand on his shoulder. There's one brief pause as everyone in the room waits on baited breath to see what's going to happen, before Stone finally climbs onto him to the sheer volume of loud, wild hoots and cheers.



Straddling him, she eyes the audience while giving Jay the lap dance of a liftetime. Lifting her hips, grinding them back down, rolling and maneuvering them on his helpless self. She does this over and over, much to the thrill of the audience. As the song finishes off, the mattress eventually lowers back down into the stage, with Stone giving the audience one glance that assures them Jayc's night isn't over just yet.



The couple disappears below into the AB&G Dungeon, from where I emerge. Lifted on a harness as though I were lifeless, I close off the performance with one last "OW!" followed by a "BAM!".


The curtains close leading to a very loud and massive uproar of cheers, claps, hollers, hoots and whistles from the big crowd, marking the end of a joyous and eventful night, as well as resulting in there being not a single dry pair of undies in the room. ()

Question:   Vote for your favourite Song. "AB&G has got talent Song Contest"   Singers Renditions - P144 & 145. Voting Ends Sun 26 July 2015.

    Name                           Song                                        Vote
1. Brandybee   -           “Karma Chameleon"               - 1 (2.8%)
2. Amethyst   -              "Young Guns"                        - 0 (0%)
3. AusWoody -              "The Gambler"                        - 0 (0%)
4. Momma_Andrea -   "Seven Nation Army"                 - 3 (8.3%)
5. Jayc –       “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner”   - 0 (0%)
6. Stone –                       “Cracklin' Rosie”                   - 5 (13.9%)
7. Jaynie –                       “Demons”                            13 (36.1%)
8. Jingerbird –                 “Country Girl”                          - 7 (19.4%)
9. Tangoracer –              “Mambo Number 5”                - 1 (2.8%)
10. mrsexlover –                “YMCA”                          - 1 (2.8%)
11. Covems –                   “Robot Love”                          - 0 (0%)
12. hentaiboy69 -           "Hurly Burly"                            0 (0%)
13. Eva_RG -                       "Hello"                          - 1 (2.8%)
14. Sam_Hawke -       Just my rifle, my pony, and me      - 1 (2.8%)
15. Lover & FoxyRoxxy -    I got you babe                  - 3 (8.3%)

                                           Total Voters: 34
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Standing up, the crowd of the AB&G cheered & I clapped the winners. Jaynie was in first place with “Demons.” 
“Woot woot!” I shout to her as she is presented with the winning 3,000A$ cheque.  Her singing was so totally amazing.
Jingerbird is up next to receive the runners up cheque of 2,000A$.
“Yay Girl,” I cheer. She totally nailed it with her rendition of “Country Girl”

Then Hentaiboy69 announced my name. I was totally shocked, speechless & silent.  Jayc laughed at my gawping face. 
“Go on, you got to collect the 1,000A$ cheque for 3rd place” He gave me a little push towards the stage. “Well done.” He mouthed giving me the thumbs up.

AusWoody and Maron211177 presented me with the cheque and again all the crowd cheered and clapped the three of us. We all hugged & mwahed.

Then Amy waved at me frantically from the sidelines 
“I got to go guys. Amy & I are doing the grand finale to end the contest”
“Yes Yes, Go Go”   Maron encouraged while she & AusWoody continued the speeches.

Auswoody held the microphone, “I would like to congratulate the 3 winning songs. Jaynie, jingerbird and Stone were outstanding but I would also like to extend my thanks and well dones to all the participants.

Hentaiboy69 continued and tells the audience., "All your songs were amazing & the fact you entered and performed your songs made everyone's night.  Thank you everyone."

Maron then took to the mic and seconded AusWoody’s & Hentaiboy's thanks and acknowledgements.

“Without further ado, Please put your hands together and stamp your feet for the closing song…  ItsAmy123 and Stone”
The crowd roar and Amy & I take to the stage.

We dance & sing our little hearts out.
The performance was hot, exhilarating and totally sexy.

Jayc was totally blown away when I accosted him on stage & left him panting.

As Amy & I leave the stage, we hug. “That was unbelievable!” I was on a buzzing high.
“Yes it was” Amy giggled. “We did good Girl”
“We surely did” I agree. 

On route to the dressing I see Covems talking to The Dwarfs.
I go to him, “You know, you can’t go far without your horse,”
He looked at me confused and I hug him, stealing his wallet and passport out of his back pockets.  “Nor without these,”  I wave them at him.
“Give them back,” He tries to look stern and not stare at my sexy stage outfit.

“No, I am doing my Achat citizens duty.” I inform him.
“You’re what?” He stammers. He is definitely drooling at my cleavage.
“The NSPD are looking for you.” I tell him
“What for?” He asks.

“None payment of christmas jumpers. I used your card to pay off Bears credit card. I used Bears credit card and … well he’s more scarey than you.  Then there’s the unpaid bar tab...,  the unpaid underwear tab … you owe folk a lot of A$ in unpaid bills…”
“But… but…” Covems was getting all flustered. “I didn’t…”

“Sometimes, you can’t just leave, sometimes you just have to stay…. and pay your dues.” I grin at him.
The dwarfs all grin at him.

“Is this a conspiracy?” He mutters under his breath.

“Absolutely. We love you cowboy.” I reel off a list of things off the top of my head. “We love the dwarfs, We love the jokes, we love to buy the sarsperilla stocks, we love the lake escapades, we love gagaland, we love the snotty onion kisses, we love the jasmine farts, we love the dwarf tunnels, we love the rum donuts, we love the Eva love story, we love the queues of woman waiting to kiss you, we love your crazy gifs. Don’t you get it?”

“Get what?” his voice cracks a bit at the memories flooding into his mind.

“This is your home and We love you.”  I tell him looking him in the eyes so he can see my sincerity.

The Cocks N Roses start playing some soft tunes for couples to dance. The songs filter into us. We hear someone order drinks and put them on Covems open bar tab.

“So if you try to leave, you will just get arrested. Besides Pachi is under strict instructions to wrestle you down and he has some evil moves & handcuffs”  I move to my dressing room and then turn to him and mouth  “Real Evil”  using my hands to show the gripping shape of them.