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I swig another glass of punch down,  enjoying the music of The country boys, swaying  my hips as I dance towards Tight, and wink at the Harmonica player...  I push my cowboy hat back and shout to Tight ..." Do you knows these boys? " and push a piece of paper in his hand ..." going to ask for them to go on the Juke Box too  for when you popular boys might be otherwise engaged "  hehe

"And dont forget, you boys owe me a dance or three or four .. "

Love & Theft  -  Angel Eyes
After Dark - Tito & Terantula  
Cant fight the moonlight - LeAnn Rimes
The Devil went down to Georgia - The Charlie Daniels Band
Stay - Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs
Hungry Eyes - Eric Carman
I will always love you - Whitney Houston
Roadhouse Blues - Jeff Healey Band
I'm tore down - Jeff Healey Band
Hoochi Coochie Man - Jeff Healey Band

 

I get up from my stool... and sneak onto the stage between sets of the band. I tap the mic... "Is this thing on?"

"There once was a Librarian who was taking a flight to see her sister in Pittsburgh.  While the Librarian was in the airport, going to her gate, she passed a machine that had signage that read:  'Get your weight and fortune told.  One Cent.'

This intrigued her, so she opened up her purse and hunted in her change for a penny.  She got on the machine and inserted the penny into the slot.  "Ding"... and a little card popped out of another slot.  She took the card and examined it.  It read:

"You are a Librarian."

"Well, that's right."  She thought to herself.

"You are 5 foot 5 inches tall."

"Yes."  She said.

"You weight 155 pounds."

"Again correct.  How does it know?"

"You are going to pass gas".

"Nonsense", she thought to herself.  "I don't feel any pressure..."

Just then she felt a rumbling begin in her gut.  She knew that she was on a build up to flatulance.  The Librarian hurried to the ladies rest room, and quickly went into a stall.  Lowering her pants and panties she sat down quickly and just then... "Brrraaaaaaaaappppppppppppp"  The loudest and longest passing of gas she ever had happened.

She finished in the john and washed up in the sink, straightened her appearance, regained her composure and headed back to her gate. 

She stopped in front of the machine again and stared at it.  "How did it know?"  She wondered.  She opened up her purse and fished out another penny.  Stepping on the scale she inserted it into the coin slot.  "Ding."  Another card popped out.

She read it.  "You are a Librarian.  You are 5 foot 5 inches tall.  You weight 155 pounds.  You are going to get an uncontrollable urge to screw."

"No way."  She thought, just as it hit her.  She had to find someone... she had to have wanton, wild sex.  She saw a maintenance man.  She rushed at him, grabbing him by the hand and whispered hotly into his ear.  "Fuck me".

Happy to oblige, he took her into the bowels of the airport, known only to the maintenance people.  And there she had wanton, wild sex with him.  Not once... not twice... but three times!!

After again regaining her composure she straightened her clothes out, fixed her hair and again headed for her gate.  She was passing by the machine, staring at it.

"It's been right on everything so far."  She couldn't help herself.  She opened her purse and took out her last penny.  She stepped on the scale and slid the penny into the slot.  "Ding."  The card popped out.

Nervously she reached for it and read it: 




"You are a Librarian.  You are 5 foot 5 inches tall.  You weigh 155 pounds.  You have farted and fucked around and missed your flight."


Thank you... I'll be here all week. 

With cramps in my stomach from laughing and distracted by the swaying hips and barely covered breasts of Brandy, I take the paper from her and hand it to the drummer, while my fingers find the right frets for the song I have in mind. My acoustic Jasmine tuned to perfection, the high notes of the intro echo through the bar and for a moment everybody quiets down. Then I open my mouth and let out a single phrase, complimenting the guys and girls wearing their combow hats..

"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride. Wanted..... dead or alive..."

Immediatly the band jumps in and with virtuous play the stage starts to rock in its place..

I love that Covems guy ...  laughing, tears in my eyes at his tale ...  and immediately begin another dance as the music fills the room, twirling  with a girl, bit stiff but rhythm starting to ooze into her. As the song starts to end, I smile at her grabbing her hand .. bit cold, I notice as I shake it... " I'm Brandy" 

"Eva "   

"Well nice to meet you Eva .... looks like its my turn on the bull. Here have some of my punch - it helps with the rhythm thing .."  Grinning I saunter off to speak with JD ... 

He helps me on and tells me to grip with my thighs , hold on to the horn.. and hold my hat above my head with  the other ...

There's a very pleasant vibration as the bull is switched on ... mmm   and it slowly begins to rock and then twirl round and  I let my body relax, moving and sliding and grinding on the bulls back ...  I glimpse a look on JD's face .. mmm   He knows exactly what hes doing ...  mmm ..  "fluffing" enters my mind  and well .. very very pleasant ... just as .....all hell breaks loose ..

The bull begins to buck, forwards and backwards and side to side, my body moves in all the wrong directions, my butt bumping on the saddle , i feel my top loosen before I fly unceremoniously through the air landing on the mats ..  laughing uncontrollably as my senses begin to return to normal.

"How long?"   I shout at JD ... He grins back , shaking his head   " All of 8 seconds .. .. and.. err ... you should fasten your top ... you're .. spilling"

" Oops .."  I grin back and make myself presentable again. 

" Time for another drink... you want one too?"      JD nods and holds his bottle of lager up   " Coming right up "  I dust myself down and head to the bar noticing a girl drawing ... I look over her shoulder " Hey thats good .. you should design a sign for this place too "

I give Stone my order and while i'm waiting to be served, I turn round and  eye up the Country boy singer .. whos attention is on a girl in a pretty dress ..  I abscent mindedly  touch and relocate my hat in a more comfortable position on my head. 

Stone serves my drinks  "How long did you last on the bucking bronco?" I ask

She grins  " 9 seconds "    I laugh " Damm I need more practice"   I hand over the money and take JD his beer.  " Next time your on a break .. I want that dance you promised me "

We clink bottles .. and I head back to the dance floor ...

 

peeking in from the door after a call from a buddy suggesting the place (bet she knows who she is), liking the mood inside and getting in.

Thudding footsteps echo from beyond the door, as the silhouette of a two meeter tall... not quite a man, but not alien... part machine... pushes through the doorway, bending over to fit through.

Everyone's eyes become locked onto him, the musicians pause with a drone for a lack of concentration... the bartender overfills a stein, not paying any more attention to his duties...

A half ton of Mjolnir armor half crouched through the doorway, the gold plated visor on his helmet, and the iridescent green glow of his entire body covering armor, giving him an impenetrable, godlike look. An emblem of a Chief Petty Officer, with the label "S051, KURT" under it, brandishing on his left breastplate.

His head glances from the bar, to the bull, to the tables and all those sitting around... he finally fully stands straight, his helmet crashing into the light fixtures, causing him to go back into a light crouch... his armored gauntlets moving with such speed he quickly calms the swinging lighting...

With that, he turns back to the door, and an eerie, deep, masculine voice utters from his armor's speaker systems...

"Sorry... Wrong place."

He lightly thuds back out the doorway, letting the door shut behind him... his armor's weight sounding long after he's left the entry.

"Jondas, Jondas ... over here .." I catch his eye  as he enters .. " here I got you a beer in ... Do you know the  Two Step ?  ... nor me lol .. we'll just make up the steps as we go along ... " 

Suddenly the bar quietens as a big guy in Armour comes in  briefly ... " Who he? "   Jondas asks me 

" I think its that John Spartan guy ...  Hope he comes back ... bet he looks real good without his armour ... mmm  hopefully he'll turn up Friday   Tell me Jondas, Have you tried  the bull yet ? ....

Walking up to the heavily carved wooden door, I can hear the sounds of the patrons enjoying themselves inside.  Having heard about the place already I knew that a good time could be had here.  The question on my mind was, who would I meet?  Would it be someone new?  Or an old face from the past?  In any case I was now just wanting to get inside and see for myself what all the fuss was about.

Just as I grabbed the large wooden handle I noticed a carving on the door that was intended to blend in with the others and not be noticeable unless you looked right at it.  It was a man and a woman having sex standing up.  Her long hair appeared to be draped over both of the lovers and her legs were wrapped around his muscular frame.  The carving was so well done that one could almost detect his thrusting into her.  Realizing that I was looking at this carving for far too long, a smile crept across my face.  I hadn’t even opened the door and I could tell this was my kind of place.

I pulled the door open and stepped inside to see the darkened, but crowded room chattering away.  I stood there for a moment as my eyes adjusted, and a few heads turned my way.  I let them work over me in my tight blue jeans, but I was sure my push up bra, and not me, was the star of this show.  Thinking I could see a few familiar shapes among the bodies before me I began to glide over to the bar scanning the room as I went.  Now let’s just hope a girl can get a decent whisky here…

OMG, Oh what is this ??!!  I heard rumors about this bar but thought that they were just rumors.
I wondered where my fellows country guys disappear every night ..Today, just when I was able to complete the hats they were gone again.. ::)While opening the door trying to recognize familiar song someone is playing, sounds good ... I stop for a moment, oh what a crowd..nice!
Some danced, others are bitter discussed in pairs..I see Lover, it seems as he worried that the ladies around him feel as comfortable as possible - saying something to a girl while his hands fumbling around her buttons. Perhaps a little too concerned about her comfort - well guess he think It's too hot 

Some folks gathered around some kind of mechanical bull ,laughing, whistling, shouting, I bent a little neck wondering what would it be so interesting...a girl was riding a bull, woow seems amazing easy - probably it's easy for her. Well I certainly won't try that thing
So ..It looks like everyone are in a really good mood, maybe a lot of punch or beers which are relentlessly serving to all. The guy next to the bar shouted another round for all - which is accompanied with loud approval..
Who is he ?! I moved a step or two ... It's Trek and Jayc with him too, the guys who started all this ..smile on my face.

My attention was attracted by the girl in the corner, she looks familiar - Is that Brandy !? She is laughing, seems enjoying the company some guys. Her hand rested on the naked chest of one of the boys- oh aren't they my country fellows  - well  I should guessed... If you want to find them you only need to find Brandy
 I see now, Achat  bar, girls, boys- when Brendy imagine something she must achieve that - don't ask me how.
But don't they play here ?! No , obviously not right now - Their eyes were glued to Brandy seemed like playing is the last thing that would be interested in. But who is playing then ?? I slowly moved to another corner and trying to discover the mystery of musicians who are playing now - the music in which I - just noticed, enjoy the whole time. I saw some more familiar faces around.. Mooncalf, HB, Adera , Az too.. Covems ...Oh biting my lips - wondering how I missed the place until now ...


Heeey What ...  Tight playing guitar and Bear playing the harmonica.... some folks around them are singing - they were all entranced..Okaaaay what is enough it is enough - I turned and went out to the car, pulled out my guitar and a bunch of hats, for whom? for what?
Maybe I do not know to play as good as these two tuff guys, but I can feel the rhythm here, every bit - not bad for a start.Then we will see what will be...
Came back to the bar ,I stood in the same corner smiling to myself  then I threw all the hats in the air-they flew in all directions .I still smile, saying - I heard you're missing some hats !! 

Looking like she's had one too many cream filled donuts... or swallowed a self inflating basketball... of all things, the Chief of Police steps up to the microphone...

"Heya! Did ya hear the one about the Circus peformers who started a brothel? (BURP!)... Oops! Excuse me... hehehe" She says with a bright smile.

"They all used to be known to peform a cunning array of stunts. Hehehehe..." She says before waddling away from the open mic.

Mwah!
Az.

Helping the chief of police off the stage i return to the microphone hey folks! just a few anoucements then we will get the country boys back up here. reaching into my shirt pocket i unfold a piece of paper.........ok management would like to thank you all for making this place a big hit. whistles and cheers. business is so good they have turned the basement into a gaming parlor with pool, darts and a smaller bar and some poker tables. whistles and cheers  and backgammon and cribbage sets are availble at the main bar to play anywhere. whistles and cheeers lets keep the betting low key  please i point to the chief of police. ok ok one last item.........

 I  nod at lover who takes over. on cue the music starts  the evil emperor theme from star wars, a spot light points to the bar entrance, Lovers voice booms ladies and gentlemanturn please turn your attention to the door, from the the rain forests of China at 350 pounds and a hight of 5 foot and 9 inchs and a undefeated record of 16 victories, the bamboo brawler!  the beast from the east!............PACHACUTI !!!!!!! Stone leads the docile giant panda into the bar who seems more interested in the salad bar than sumo wrestling. who dares to step in to the circle? come find out this saturday. push him out of the circle and drink here for free for 6 months, and get your picture on the wall. the muisic fades then "do the pachacuti" song comes on....... laughing hard as i spot  Brandy and my Stone showing  a group of people how to do the dance and singing along to the tune.

I can't stop staring at that misterious girl.......there is something so familiar in her! Strange, even if i had bad memory for names, it's really hard i can forget a face! Inside me, i feel the urge to fix her espression on paper couse i had never had seen an angelic face like that whit a sad espression like that......peoples are laughing, drinking and singing but she is not enjoing this and i wonder why!

I move away my eyes from her for an istant, just the time to take my pencil and my sketchbook, but when i look again at her she is vanished, like a ghost.....i look around but i can't see her! i see lot of friends, but no sign of her.....maybe it was just a day dream!? I run outside but no one is there.....same in the bathroom (crap, that girl had give me a really hard slap after i jump in front of her asking "Hey, had you seen a girl in black latex gloves and black dress whit dark grey branches on it!?"!  ) and on the dance floor.....maybe i had lost her forever! how unlucky i am!

Even she is not here, she had left something inside me.....i can feel it clearly, her sadness is in my heart now and i will never forget about her!
I'll take an hat throwed by jeanona and i wear it to hide my tears.....

As I sit back in my chair between riders, swigging my fresh beer from Brandy, I've come to realize one thing.  The ladies tip for slowing it down or speeding it up.  Regardless of how long they stay on, they all leave with a smile.  The thing they don't realize is that that bull is at just the right height to give me a glorious view of the assets that they have.  I'll admit, I might have touched a few bums while helping them mount the mechanical beast.  Apparently, they didn't mind.   Now that Brandy has had her turn, I'll need to reset it for the next rider.  There is one lady at the bar I wouldn't mind seeing ride.  She appears to be drawing or writing something.  Which reminds me, I need to make my song request.  "Stay With Me - Josh Gracin"  That song moves me heart and soul and takes me back to a love I once knew.   No time for sentiments, the next riders walks up, plants a kiss on my cheek and mounts it like she's ridden before.  Time to rock it. 

I quickly get off my stool as I see Jeanona enter the bar with a gutar in her hands. before she can slip away in the crowd, i grab her arm and pull her on stage. While the music dies down a little, I grab the mic.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present a beautiful lady from the soutf of Europe, besides her skills as a designer, she plays a mean tune as well. Give a hand to the beatiful Jeanona!"

The crowd applauds and I see the blush on Jeanona's cheeks as I lift her on top off the stool. Making use of the attention focussing on her, I slip off the stage and head to the bar. I wink at Stone as I order an ale and a big glass of water and ice. With the beer in my right hand, I slip my fingers of my left hand in the cold water to cool the tips off from speeding up and down my guitar, preventing blistering. The first notes echo through the room as jeanona starts to play and for the first time I have a chance to look around.

After a couple of sips of cook beer, quenching my thirst, I stroll towards the mechanical bull and tap JD on his shoulder.
"I hope this beast is not just for ladies..."

mmmmmmmm  Jeanona is playing a great tune ... as I approach the stage I ask her if she knows " Stand by your man" ... well i missed Wednesdays Karoke  so may as well give the voice a try out  lol  ...

I see Tight walking towards the Bull and raise my fist in triump , (mmm , careful you may get saddle sore in your birthday suit trousers)  ..." good to see you are giving it a try, if you last more than 8 seconds i'll buy you a special Brandy punch " 

I wink at JD ..  hoping we will have an understanding that he'll get the punch instead    and signal 5 covertly to him.

As I start to sing .. I see Christi walk in with her riding crop and wearing tight jeans in her leather top, the guys ALWAYS like that top  ... up for her usual  whiskey no doubt....  and Pachucuti chomping happily on the salad ... mmmm  thats reminds me ... I seem to have a bear muzzle in my back pocket ...

Singing and walking round the floor I sway to the music as a few join in  and move in on my target man ... it is Friday .. and well ... I can see his attraction mmmm..  I begin to dance before him and direct the words of  the song towards  him , picking up his hand and gently kissing his taped fingers ...
"I hear you like riding?"  I whisper in between the words as the music plays ... He smiles , mentions something about he does but had lost his hat .. bit hard to hear in the noisy room ... I smile at him and continue the song ...in the next pause .. " If you like a bit of adventure, I hear theres an empty poker room in the basement ... "   and with that I continue singing , making my way back to the stage ..  passing Christie on the way.. winking and paying for her whiskey .. " Allow me"  and as i jump back on stage .. the last of the song is finished. I bow to the cheers and applauds and look around ...

Covems ... throwing the mike to him,  good to see you are joining in the Friday night theme too    Your're up next ....