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Fire Alarm Chilli

Prep:
20L pot (you’re going to need it… lolz).
10L roasting pan with lid.
2 inch deep baking pan (whatever fits in your oven)
1L saucepan
1 shaker bottle
Various kitchen tools
Qty 3 cutting boards (because you’re going to need them too!)
A very sharp butcher’s knife for chopping and dicing. (Please remember to always count your fingers before and after. Blood in the pot is not so good.)

The Foundation:
Molasses Baked Beans
2 lbs dry white beans
2 cups diced red onion
4 cups diced tomatoes
2 cups molasses
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 tbsp Ground Mustard
1 tsp salt

Method:
In the 10L roasting pan, rinse the beans and let soak overnight in water. Drain.

Cover the beans with water, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 10-15 minutes. Drain and rinse the beans. Recover with water, (about 12 cups) and bake on a LOW heat for 12-14 hours (300F) or until the beans are split and tender. Drain the liquid into 20L pot.

In a separate mixing bowl, combine all the ingredients (except the beans of course) and add 4 cups of the drained liquid. Pour over the beans in the 10L roasting pan and cover. Bake at 350 for 2-3 hours.

The Heart and Soul: Stewed Pork and Mutton Shoulder Roast
4lbs cubed pork and/or mutton
1tsp salt
1 cup cooking oil
2L water
4 pints blond lager
2 Cups Finely Chopped Dill Weed


Method:
While the beans are baking, combine the pork and/or mutton in 20L pot with salt and cooking oil. Braise the meat on a high heat.
Add the water and lager, bring to a ROLLING BOIL. Reduce heat. Add the Dill Weed, Simmer, uncovered for 2 hours stirring occasionally. Add the baked beans when they are done, gently folding. Add special blend and cover until serving.

The Special Blend:
Jabonareo Pepper, 1 is more than enough!
Jalapeno Peppers, about 4-6 should be enough!
2 tbsp Black Pepper
2 tbsp Cayenne Pepper
2 tbsp White Pepper
6 tbsp Ground Mustard
1 tbsp Sea Salt
1 tsp Ground Cumin
1 whole bulb of Garlic, minced
1 pint Red Wine Vinegar
1 pint Blond Lager

Method:
Caution! Toxic Fumes!

Finely dice the Jabonero and jalapeno peppers on a separate cutting board. Rinse all utensils and the cutting board in COLD salted water.
 
In a SMALL saucepan (about 1L) combine diced Jabonero pepper and Jalapeno peppers with the blond lager and boil until reduced. Allow to cool until the mixture become slightly pasty. Add the minced garlic, ground mustard and ground pepper(s) and FOLD into the mixture. Add red wine vinegar to keep the paste from solidifying.

In a separate shaker bottle, start with 3-6 tbsp of the SPECIAL BLEND mixture and the remainder of the pint of red wine vinegar. Add the remaining ingredients. Shake vigorously and add to the chili pot. Stir into the chili, stir before serving. Repeat if required.

DISCLAIMER
I bear no responsibility to anyone who adds the entire special blend mixture to the chili and has dysentery for several days while their bowels are expunged.

The Accompaniment: Country Style Bread Sticks
6 cups cornmeal
6 cups Barley or whole wheat flour
2 cups brown sugar
4 tbsp baking powder
1 tbsp salt
1 brick of REAL butter. (sorry but any substitute will just not work… lolz).
1L buttermilk
6 large eggs.

Method:
On a large flat surface, by hand, combine the cornmeal, flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Make a PILE in the middle of your work surface. Beat the eggs and butter milk together in a separate bowl. Slowly FOLD the eggs and buttermilk into the dry ingredients (this is where your hands are going to get covered in dough…lolz), until it becomes dough. Remember to flour your surface so the dough does not stick to it.

With a rolling pin, roll out the dough until it is approximately 2cm (about 1 inch) thick. With a baker’s wheel, cut into 2cm strips that equal the length of your baking pan.

Grease the 2 inch baking pan and TWIST the strips of dough, then place them into the baking pan. (you may  also braid them, or be decorative, because presentation is everything).

Bake at 375F for 20-30 minutes. Continue a second pan if you have one, or until there is no more dough left. After baking, brush with melted butter and sprinkle with parmesan cheese. Allow to cool before serving.

ENJOY! Mwah!

Sheppards Pie

We, the ladies of the clan, did not injure or maim any sheppards to make this dish, but we did use them as food tasters.

1 lb ground mutton
1 lb ground pork
3 tbsp cooking oil (canola oil is ok, but Olive Oil is better!)
1 large red onion, chopped
2 cloves minced garlic
1 bottle red wine (a merlot is a good choice)
4 tbsp dry mustard
2 tbsp oregano
1/2 tsp sage
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp salt
2 lbs potatoes, cut (peeled if you insist)
1 lb parsnips, sliced
1 lb carrots, sliced
2 cups raddish, chopped
1/2 cup REAL butter
2 cups 18% dairy cream
2 cups parmesean cheese, grated
2 cups cheddar cheese, grated
Rosemary

Method:
In a 10L roasting pan, heat the cooking oil and salt. Braise the meat.
Add the red onion, garlic and 2 cups of red wine (the remainder is for dinner silly), bring to a boil then reduce heat.
Simmer for 20-30 minutes. Add the dry mustard, oregano, sage and black pepper. Leave in the roasting pan.

In a separate pot, (while the meat is simmering) boil the potatoes, parsnips, carrots and raddish until they are thoroughly cooked. Drain.
*SMASH* the vegetables, then belend in the cream, butter and parmesean cheese. (and yes, your SMASHED veggies are supposed to be lumpy... lolz).

Cover the meat mixture in the roasting pan with cheddar cheese, then fold the *SMASHED* vegetables on top.
Garnish with rosemary spriggs. Bake uncovered at 375F for 20 mins.

Serve Immediately, then make the men folk clean up YOUR kitchen while you enjoy a glass of wine with your sisters.

Mwah!
Az.

Traditional Robbie Burns Dinner

Haggis, Neeps & Tatties with Greens.

Sheep Heart, Lungs & Liver (aproximately 2 lbs total)
Mutton Suet
Crushed oats (outmeal works fine)
Ground Whole Kernel Barley
Sheep Stomach
Stock
Diced Onion
Black Pepper
Sea Salt
Basil
Clover

Method:
Finely chop the sheep heart, lights (lungs) and liver vigorously and without remorse.
In a 10L pot, add 2 liters of water. Bring to a rolling boil.
Drop in the chopped meat, reduce heat to minimum and simmer for 1 hour.
Remove the meat, do not discard the stock! (you'll need it).

On 2 large baking sheets (or what ever fits into your oven), spread an equal amount of
oatmeal and barley. Toast (Broil) until crisp. (not Crispy, nor charcoal).

Meanwhile... while the Meat is simmering, and the oatmeal and barley is toasting...
Turn the sheep stomach inside out and scrape the tripe.
Discard. (Its really, really disgusting!). Rinse the stomach bag in WARM water with sea salt.
Leave the stomach bag inside out, sprinkle generously with crushed basil and clover.
Set aside until needed.

In a large mixing bowl, place equal 1 cup amounts of oatmeal, barley, meat, and 1 1/2 cup of
stock with a handful of diced onion, a sprinkle of sea salt and dash of pepper at a time. Once
mixed, condinue adding more ingredients until all the meat is used.

Turn the sheep stomach right side out (the generously sprinkled Basil and cloves should now be INSIDE)
Fill the sheep stomach, sew the stomach closed with suet.

Boil SLOWLY for 4 to 5 hours.
Serve with Neeps and Tatties. (Turnips & Potatoes)


Pudding Sauce

1 Brick of butter
2 cups brown sugar
6 large eggs (beaten until submissive).
1 bottle 12 year old single malt

Method:
BY HAND, Cream the butter and brown sugar together; Blend in the beaten eggs.
In a double boiler over gently boiling water, stir until thickened. Remove from heat.
With a hand wisk, stir in the single malt. Spoon the warm sauce over the haggis, and serve immediately.

Psst... always kiss the cook when you want more sauce!

Enjoy! Mwah!

Chardonnay Chicken Alfredo

1 cup real butter (nothing else will do)
4 cups 18% cream
6 cloves minced garlic
6 cups grated parmesan cheese
1 cup freshly chopped cilantro
1/4 cup freshly chopped dill weed
1 tbsp black pepper
1 tsp sea salt
1 bottle Chardonnay
1 lb boneless chicken breast, cubed
Fettuccine Pasta Noodles
Olive Oil
Chives

Method:
In a 2L saucepan, melt the butter over a medium/low heat.
SLOWLY, pour in the cream and simmer for 10 minutes.
Add, the minced garlic and black pepper.
Whisking quickly, add the parmesan cheese, and
KEEP whisking until all the cheese is melted through.

In a Large Skillet, on a medium/high heat, BRAISE the chicken with the sea salt.
Add 2 cups of chardonnay, the dill weed and stir with a wooden spoon. Reduce heat.
Add no more than 2 cups of the alfredo sauce to the chicken and stir SLOWLY.
Simmer 8-10 minutes.

In a large pot, on a high heat, bring 2 L of water to a rolling boil.
Reduce heat and WAVE in the fettuccine noodles. Continue on slow boil until tender
Drain and rinse the noodles, sprinkle with olive oil and chives.

FOLD in the cilantro to the alfredo sauce, serve immediately with The remaining Chardonnay.

Enjoy! Mwah!

Roasted sausages, with tomatoes on a vine, eggplant and potatoes


This is something I made a few days ago, which takes little preparation and even less time and effort cooking. This is what you need for 2 persons:

250 gr tomatoes on a vine
250 gr of eggplant
1 big onion
4 cloves of garlic (more, or less, depending on taste)
4 small pork sausages

3 fresh Bayleaves
fresh Thyme
fresh Oregano
Fresh Sage
Fresh Rosemary
Olive oil
Balsamic vinegar
Peper
Seasalt


Prep:
Preheat the oven to 190 C, or 375 F.
Scrub the skin of the potatoes clean and pre-boil for 18 mins. Stop cooking process with cold water.
Cut the onion in half rings and fry with crushed garlic in olive oil , until they are soft but haven’t colored. Place them on a flat baking tray

Cooking:
Wash tomatoes and eggplant. Slice the eggplant in thin discs (0,5 cm or ¼ inch). Place both on top of the fried onion and garlic.
Place potatoes to one side of baking tray, next to onion and veggies.
Add the bayleaves and strip the leaves off the other herbs. Cut finely and distribute over the tray.
Drizzle 2 table spoons of olive oil (extra virgine) and 3 table spoons of balsamic vinegar over the veggies.
Season with pepper and salt.
Add sausages and place in oven. Roast for 35 minutes


Enjoy!