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: What do you think about... The discussion thread  ( 81434 )
FoxyRoxxy
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« #150 : October 30, 2014, 01:24:21 AM »
Quote from: Lover on October 29, 2014, 03:32:37 AM
Respect is something everyone can demand and has to give too!
We all are here to have fun. Everyone on his own style and as he/she wishes, as long as you don't attack, offend or judge other. And of course, as long as you don't act against TOS.

Respect is a word which is spoken easy. But having respect for other sometimes can be very hard. Maybe because we don't like what they are doing or how they are doing something. Maybe we don't like the words they use. Sometimes just because we don't understand the meaning of their words - what did the writer (the sender of the message) want to say?
Then it's on us to check our reaction. If we are upset, we better wait to answer. Maybe ask first - what do you mean? Do I understand you right?
We can agree with someone's opinion. Respect is easy then. Or we can disagree with someone's opinion. This is the point when respect begins. Respecting other relations means, not trying to go between them. For this, first you have to know they are in a relation. Either from opening your eyes or becausethey tell you. If you, knowing they are spoused or exclusive, try to seduce them, it's on them to tell you "Stop". So long, so good. Nothing bad has happened. If you still continue, you lose respect. Simple but true.


Respect also ends, when it comes to personal attacks or offending. This, and just this, we mods never will accept or tolerate. Not because we don't like it, but it's bad for a good atmosphere in forum. Tell me I'm wrong, but I believe we mods (and almost everybody else too) always respected oher's opinion. We never judged or harmd other lifestyles. As long as I'm mod here, this also never will happen.

We also make sure, we respect you as person, even when we have to edit or remove a post. This is just for the common sense and doesn't mean you're a bad person. We just refer to one single action you're doing. In this moment we judge the behave, never the person. This is respect too.

Tolerance is another term in this context. Being more tolerant is the ONLY way to get all these different people under one hat. Everybody, including me, has to learn to be tolerant. Step back, think about, say "not what i like, but it doesn't affect me". Smile - done.
Intolerance is not just the opposite of tolerance. It's saying "I am right and you are wrong. You, as person, are wrong. You are bad, because you're not living the way I do." Here, in this forum, there is no place for this attitude. You can stay and learn to be tolerant or you can go.

I always will stand for free speech. For respect. For tolerance. Join me. Let's make it a place for a strong community. Let's make it a place for a big family, where not everyone has to agree with everything, not everyone has to be friend with everyone. But is respecting everyone.
To learn, to grow - and to HAVE FUN :)





                           LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL
hukk
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Later, Space Cowboy
« #151 : October 30, 2014, 06:48:34 AM »
Heated words were said.Maybe some of the things said both in public or private were justified..maybe some of them weren't.

At this point, after having settled down myself I express regret for having been a cause for Brandy's sudden departure.

Hope you change your mind.
« : October 30, 2014, 06:54:19 AM hukk »
Lover
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« #152 : October 30, 2014, 08:20:22 AM »
@ Leighdee, hukk:
In no way my post was referring to you both. The opposite is true. My intention was, to get a general discussion about repsect, tolerance and consideration. For this forum, but also for life in general. I believe, this attitude and an honest but also fair communication is they key to a good together. Obviously I failed and you think, I was talking about you. I apologize. Please read my post againm having this new background.


It's good to have this discussion topic. Maybe here we can concentrate the storm, which otherwise would have been in more topics. Here we can talk about the forum and us. No game, no events, no funny stuff is disturbing. Just the passion of our hearts (and sometimes tounges). It shows, we're alive and it's important for us. So look ahead, think of how you want to be treated and how you should treat others. Post your opinion in the same way you would talk to your friends and beloved people. Sometimes wait a few minutes - things said in rage can hurt a lot and even if you regret it afterwards, it's said (written).
I know, together we will sail the storm and reach Sunny Island. Stronger tha before. Little wiser than before. Smiling :)
leighdeexxx
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« #153 : October 30, 2014, 09:29:44 AM »
Quote from: Lover on October 30, 2014, 08:20:22 AM
@ Leighdee, hukk:
In no way my post was referring to you both. The opposite is true. My intention was, to get a general discussion about repsect, tolerance and consideration. For this forum, but also for life in general. I believe, this attitude and an honest but also fair communication is they key to a good together. Obviously I failed and you think, I was talking about you. I apologize. Please read my post againm having this new background.


Lover I didn't think you were just speaking to me, I did feel it was to all who were involved or who felt some type of way. I didn't take anything you said to be hurtful; just the opposite was felt about your post. I read it as being informative as well as what it was meant to do and that is clear the air...its actually all the other "fluff" that came and went around the original post that really is the issue with me.





It's good to have this discussion topic. Maybe here we can concentrate the storm, which otherwise would have been in more topics. Here we can talk about the forum and us. No game, no events, no funny stuff is disturbing. Just the passion of our hearts (and sometimes tounges). It shows, we're alive and it's important for us. So look ahead, think of how you want to be treated and how you should treat others. Post your opinion in the same way you would talk to your friends and beloved people. Sometimes wait a few minutes - things said in rage can hurt a lot and even if you regret it afterwards, it's said (written).
I know, together we will sail the storm and reach Sunny Island. Stronger than before. Little wiser than before. Smiling :)


I think you are on to something here, and it is a good way to clear the air with respect and tact; without repercussions or ill wills for ones feelings or opinions. This would be totally awesome. I am all for a Sunny Island :)
hentaiboy69
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« #154 : October 30, 2014, 10:57:08 AM »
Quote from: FoxyRoxxy on October 28, 2014, 02:46:40 PM
                            Respect others


 I wold like to discuss this about respecting exclusive relationships and couples on  Achat.
I know that this is a  Virtual Sex Games   but I  would like some of you to know who I feel about it
yes its all sex fantasies  with consenting adults partner, not all are consenting  just because its  a sex game dose not
 mean all have the same life style  sure we can post  but  when you know it will start a  conflict and you name a person
why posted it to trigger a reaction ?   of cures there is  going to be a reaction... and then this  disterbes the friendly
places we have here  ....I ask that  before you post something and it has to name others that it be consenting ..

And also that we learn to respected each other and   life style  we have many  members  with different customs beliefs
its a sex game but its a consenting one,   ask think before you post 

Let me say few words.......

Rocxxy, dear, your subject have a vaste implications and if you wrote "let's talk about respect Others", it sound more like you want to point the attention on the conflict we have here in forum recenttly, most then about "respect esclusive relationship", or this is what everyone can think just reading the red title. but this change when you continue to read your post and then, immediately the theme is more clear, so i'd like to ask you to be more clear when you post a title for a discussion, just to don't cause some mistaken.

After this, let me say something about this: in the three years i was here, i met 4 persons very important for me and if i never forced them to establish an esclusive relationship, the time with them was wonderfull, eccept one case, with a man which pretend i was Always ready just for him at any time. poor boy, now he is in my ignore!   ::)

Why i never ask for esclusive relationship!? simple, i can be online only in late evening, so why i have to force the people I care to wait me in a bored mood!? i don't care if they have fun with others here in AChat, not till i know their feeling for me are not fake!
hukk
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Later, Space Cowboy
« #155 : October 30, 2014, 02:17:37 PM »
@ Lover

Don't worry Lover, we didn't take offense with anything you said, along with the other members who provided harmless commentary (most of which likely didn't even know the background behind the topic) . I point to HB's post as an explanation to why I felt bothered by the topic.

Thanks for the help and for trying to keep things together.
Stone
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« #156 : October 31, 2014, 07:57:10 PM »
From what I see the Moderators work hard here for very little in return.

And to try and publicly humiliate any one of them, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  If they ask you do to something, I suggest there is a very good reason for it and usually is because they know more than they publish in public in a dispute.

Ironic really that this is a topic about respect and yet very little has been shown.

They are Moderators for a reason and due respect should be shown to them.  They make decisions for Forum for the good of forum. If you have a problem, then use the PM facility. 

I am shocked and disgusted by the behaviour here.

And ask yourself this when you decide to answer me, no doubt. What do you do for forum compared to the Moderators ?  Probably very little I suggest.

amourcherry
Guest
« #157 : November 01, 2014, 01:38:43 AM »

I've been reading watching the forum for some time .
I see all the hard work the Moderators have  invest there time in it
and I Respect  this.

My philosophy is that true respect is earned, not bestowed 

 Zoerink said:  well said
 respect persons, couples, groups, ethnics, religions, gender, sexual orientation...
 I would add opines ....

I like the Discussion that is going on at the moment about Respect.


I understand that is  about Respecting  Each Other, exclusive relationships
and couples and respected each other life style we have many members  with different customs beliefs
I saw the fine print and did not take sides , I read every post carefully to understand  it
with my views


I do not like the way respect is not given to each other here lately, we are all humans with feeling
being a Moderator or a Member.

To my awareness I have seen a lot of different views in the forum, my respect to some moderation
some I do not agree with, that its not hard to avoid not looking at it to make my own conclusion to what's going on .

Perhaps it is me only but it seems to me that people are just not as respectful as they used to be.
I see a lot of post that are not so friendly and positive.


This is a positive friendly community for Achat members to come meet and share ideas and have fun

“Show proper respect to everyone.”

We have to keep in mind that there are members that come from different countries and
other culture and customs and that everyone has a way of expressing themselves as best they can their way.
We should respect them as how they express themselves with their grammar and watch what we say with our words to.
To make them feelwelcome and they can share there ideas .

On exclusive relationships I respect this to their wishes, to me exclusive say it all.
Nothing more to add . every one has there way they see it  in there own  relationship

On lifestyle every one has there own way they live it. I respected this .

I respect others on their post as long as  it dose not harm and are respectful .

I respect that Sexual advances should be consenting and welcome by partners .

Let us all with decency respect each other and  make this a fun place with Respect  for all.
hentaiboy69
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« #158 : November 01, 2014, 07:39:04 AM »
My own thoughs:

Respect is something you can demand but not pretend, at least you can learn it form others but you must be the first one showing you respect others. Recently, i had seen comments and request that doesn't fit the essence of respect and that hurt me a lot, not as moderator of the forum but as human being. I'm speachless for what happend here recently and it clearly show me that ,most of us talk of respect but didn't know what really it is, so i'll ask you all (me too!) to take a break and think to what happend and re-read the words recently carved on this forum and ask to your self: "Am I showing respect to the others!? And are they doing the same!?"

Only after this, we can go back to the nice atmosphere we actual mods (and the one before us!) have always try to create!
AusWoody
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Never push a loyal person to the breaking point

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« #159 : November 01, 2014, 07:55:37 AM »
first and foremost  lets look at the dictionary  definition of respect!

A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements:

  • the director had a lot of respect for Douglas as an actor

hmm seems it isn't given  but EARNED!!!


ok  what i do find  humorous  is those that PREACH respect  of others  seem to have  a sparsity of that very same  respect of those who opinines differ from theirs.

so basicly  i say to all practice what you preach  or  STFU
hypocrisy and deceit  seem to be the  two attributes  i find in abundance here !
as opposed  to respect  honesty  and  acceptance of other peoples opines and peccadilloes.

just my thoughts

oh  and lack of loyalty 
Join us in the The Achat Square meeting place for broad-minded  adults - fun and games - http://achatsquare.chatango.com


Mean What I Say  -  Say What I Me
Bear
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« #160 : November 01, 2014, 08:28:42 AM »
Quote from: Stone on October 31, 2014, 07:57:10 PM
From what I see the Moderators work hard here for very little in return.

And to try and publicly humiliate any one of them, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  If they ask you do to something, I suggest there is a very good reason for it and usually is because they know more than they publish in public in a dispute.

Ironic really that this is a topic about respect and yet very little has been shown.

They are Moderators for a reason and due respect should be shown to them.  They make decisions for Forum for the good of forum. If you have a problem, then use the PM facility. 

I am shocked and disgusted by the behaviour here.

And ask yourself this when you decide to answer me, no doubt. What do you do for forum compared to the Moderators ?  Probably very little I suggest.



Right beside you there Stone

Respect is indeed earned...our Mods have a difficult task and  deserved a moment of pause of self reflection before responding to them. What is needed is a touch of grace... the capacity to show consideration and thoughtfulness in responses, even in a storm of differing opinions.
FoxyRoxxy
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DESERT ROSE
« #161 : November 01, 2014, 07:19:01 PM »
 I  have been  feeling very offended  by  a lot that has been said to me
I never meant anybody any harm
My opinion gets easily turned around
 because I have difficulty writing

it is  very hard for me to write proper English it is my second language so
maybe its hard to understand 
 

I start this discussion to say there is a lot of disrespect
I thought about many areas but mostly it was about how I feel sometimes, and
I was making sure I did not name anyone not to point anyone out
in my first post.
 I have seen disrespect  in many posts including posts aimed to me
and wanted to call attention to people to respect each other more
I never meant any harm to anyone

To me respect means being kind to each other understanding the opines  even if they are not agreeing what we like

I started a few threads and noticed that unfortunately my hopes for them were not met and went of topic
I was offended and felt it was a posts to started a conflicts I asked that they be removed  they offend me my wishes where not met.that post was uncalled for If you don't like my opine and thought why go post something that go's against my desires for it .
I like to open some treads that done have any thing to do with sexual theme. I like to stay  positive encouraging and uplifting .Not that  I aginst
this  but I like to have  others  ideas thoughts that have nothing to do with sex ....I like a word for it maybe it s  option of choice
I would like this Respect  met .To me there are many threads  open  to post  your wishes as long as the  description is met  as how they started
the thread and wishes ...
In the past  I posted and did not  read the title of there wishes after I found out I removed them out respect for there wishes ......

For now I closed  one for the moment ....  1 is privet for me only
as many others have some closed . I will describe more to make it  easy to understand it more but will will take time
then I will open them  soon ...


I like what this person said

Quote :by a member
well, for one who rarely posts, I got a few pointers to make... I always believed this forum is always very friendly and is a very good place to meet new people and friends... in regards to that, one must take notice that everyone is different here... what may appeal to another person might not necessarily appeal to you.... if you see a post or thread which you don't like, you can either ignore it and walk away or give feedback in a positive way..

in this case here, I really think its not proper to post a pic on this and say " no chance in hell" when roxxy clearly shows shes offended by that pic... that is not positive at all and doesn't seem like a post one of humor... be positive and friendly, if that doesn't work out, then please work it outside the forums



I hope we can all work together and have fun with consideration for others wishes
staying positive encouraging  each other   :)

                    .................


I want to  to say on  respecting exclusive relationships  when I said this it was
meant to say   how I  feel about it ..

I may be old fashion but to me my self when I am in a relationship I like to respect
my partner the way I was raised up, this to me is how I feel about it, and I was talking about  myself . I love my partner and
I would not want to hurt him this is how I show my love for him...
I do not flirt with any men out respect for him ,
not because, we don't trust  each other but because this is my lifestyle custom of how I was raised up

I do not like
how when I turn on the game I get many sexually and verbally rude come on's  from men that are not welcome .To me I don't like men
disrespecting me this way. I tell them and some take it well  some do not understand this
this is why I said that even if its a sex virtual fantasies base game, It has to come with a consenting adults partner's with agreement.
and I don't consenting to there come on's..
 
                       this gave me a idea that I will post soon,that might  help with this..

 I am not here to judge criticize or give advice on others, relationships I know we all have different way's of seeing it
 and every relationships is is different and unique in its way...
If I don't like it I will say it in a PM ...


I just  hope you can understand me  and

I would like this respected on my opine  about the way I feel about it...

and I  will respected the way you see your  If  I am doing something
that is offending or you cant understand it,or you like to discuss it pm, me so we can work it out
« : November 01, 2014, 09:46:29 PM FoxyRoxxy »

                           LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL
Covems
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« #162 : November 02, 2014, 09:44:06 AM »



Well done everyone.  We have successfully driven off the moderator who did the most work here in the forum.  Who's next?  Jayc must be wondering what he's gotten himself into.  I wouldn't touch that job with a 10 foot cattle prod.  It seems folks have forgotten that she is a person first, an AChat player second and a VOLUNTEER moderator third.

I personally want to thank Brandybee for all her hard work and dedication to this "Forum Village".  For me, she made this forum one of my favorite places to visit on the Web, and that includes when I had my own personal problems here.  She always added a cheery word and her positive outlook made a difference to my AChat Forum experience.  I sincerely hope that she will at least continue to post and stay in this "village", though I wouldn't blame her one bit if she didn't. 

Now, if any afflicted egos want to attack me for this post, have at it.

Getting back to the topic of respect.  On a personal note, I've lost a lot of respect for some folks that I once held in high esteem.




*Be good or at least be good at what you are doing*
Lover
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« #163 : November 02, 2014, 11:05:55 AM »
A few days have gone, everybody had the chance to calm down and think about what has happened. Not just in this topic, this was just the top of an iceberg. Many little fires started lately and some members felt pissed off. I can tell you, also we mods were.

HB was attacked and most of all Brandy. Why? Because she did what we don't like, but have to. If you're a member for a while, you know we are very careful before we edit or remove posts. It's our latest decision and we never take it easy. We stand for free speech, different opinions and diversity of beliefs, culture and personal preferences. Believe me, we're happier than you,if we don't have "to mod". Sometimes we have to do it, though we might agree with you. But our private opinions may not be in foreground, eg when members are arguing or when you act against TOS of AChat, like critizing them in a bad way. Usually you make it easy for us, as it's a friendly and respectful forum. The best I know.

We love to say, it's not you and we, but us together. After all also we are just members and, last but not least, human persons.

This was not just forgotten, but she was blamed for doing her job. She was doing it not for her personal satisfaction, but to mediate and to keep the forum on track. It's normal, then and when two or more members have a discussion and we accept it. But we CAN'T accept attacks, offending or threatening. So Brandy always was there to listen to you. To deal with a lot of crap. She is spending her time for you. She is caring for everything. Games, events, contest, funny wagers and if you need any help. Yes, she alone isn't the forum, it's every single member.
But if you honestly ask yourself who is the good force behind this all, you will get just one name.

We always knew, it's a thankless task very often. If pack is attacking itself and you try to help, usually you are blamed in the end. But we're doing it, because we love what we're doing. It's a heartfelt wish.
You should know, if one mod is doing something, the other mods know and agree. Attacking one of us means, attacking all of us. The last weeks have shown, we have to be more strict. Unfortunately some can't handle the freedom they have got here.

I hoped, with days passing by, least oneperson would come and apologize. I did expect too much obviously. Did you even read her sentence? Did you reflect about what has happened? Did you just one moment think "oh, I have my part in it too and I see I was wrong?"

I can't even imagine a forum without Brandy. Maybe there will be a thing called "forum". But it only would be an empty case. I will fight for her with all of my heart. With or without you. I also admit, I prefer with you.

« : November 02, 2014, 11:09:50 AM Lover »
jayc
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« #164 : November 02, 2014, 03:15:46 PM »
I was out of town whilst all of this cracked off, however  I have now had a chance to catch up.

 First thing I would like to say is Brandybee has my full, unwavering support for her actions and decisions she made. On face value, if you are on the receiving end of a decision you dont like, I can guarantee she has made t for the good of forum and keeping in mind the right of free speech we try to advocate. We do not tolerate abuse to members ever and if you have been the giver of such abuse, you will receive strongly worded PMs leaving you in no doubt the stance of this forum and the moderators together. To then try and bring this up for public debate is quite frankly silly and childish.

I have known Brandy a long time, she can be forthright but I have also found her very fair. She will not mix her words if she thinks you are wrong. , I like that about her, You know exactly where you stand. To me, that is a good quality in a Moderator.

Many of you probably dont know this, but she receives many complaints and queries from the game and here in forum which she deals with almost on a daily basis. Most are resolved, the ones that cant be are usually because the parties concerned do not take the advice on offer.
 
I personally admire and respect her as a person, a player and a Moderator. We have worked together on stories and on contests. She works tirelessly for the Forum village sometimes under very difficult circumstances when people presume; they are the only person she is dealing with.
To then publically disrespect her or anyone as a person or a Moderator is inappropriate. If you have any issues, you can PM any of us and your problem will be dealt with accordingly.

I make a personal plea to Brandybee to return and as a Moderator. I am a junior Mod but wish to continue working with you as a Moderator and as a friend. This place will not be the same without you here.

“Be a Love”  ;D  ;D  ;D  Brandy and RECONSIDER
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