Not a link,...but a true story..
This happened to me yesterday, (Sunday)… so absurb..I can’t help but share it…and though it does deal with a potentially serious issue…
I walked from it unscathed…
I was on my way to deal with a “delicate” issue with a family member,…uptight with the thought of potential confrontation that as I was passing a local park I recognized I better stop, clear my head before proceeding on. I parked my car, headed down on one of the trails eventually finding myself at a rocky outcropping of rocks by a lakes edge. Scampering up the rocks, I sat down,…took a moment to take the late morning scene in.
Very peaceful,.. the air was still,.. a thick ground fog covered the lake,. the sun above in the haze, attempting to burn through. On the edge of the visible, a couple of fishermen in kayaks silhouetted in the fog, their voices a low whisper, barely audible, a white crane in a nearby tree, ducks moving slow on the glassy water surface. The gentle lap of water against the shore…ideally serene.
Not certain what moved me to do so,…just the moment,.. an old habit from my youth, I was warm in my jacket but feeling constrained and the thought of meditating there so enticing. So I got up, stripped down to only my jeans. Letting the cool air surround me and sat down to try to meditate. Try as I might, my body was uptight, tense…so I figured I’d try to recall Tai’ Chi that I had practice many years ago. Stood up and on that rock, barefoot, went through the motions of old forms,…improvised a few as I stretched and moved, hearing the crack and snap of joints loosening. I hit that trance state,..at peace, finally relaxed. Until everything shattered by a disharmonious snap of a nearby branch.
By the time I turned around, all I caught was the shadow of someone ducking behind a tree. The hair on the back of my neck rising,…I kept staring at that tree until finally a head peered around the trunk. The white of the eyes as large as saucers, his tongue parked sticking out of the side of his mouth. When he stepped from behind the tree 15 feet away,..pants unzipped, hands working his half erect cock,..I was...stunned.
Had at least enough presence of mind to take a long hard look at him, focusing on his face, wanting to get the details down for the report I knew I would file…
In the meantime his head twitching nervously at me in some ridiculous “Come hither” beckoming.
That’s when it hit me. A dopplerganger,…facial features,... build,…mannerisms,...the nervous movement…a sudden flash sweeping me that made me laugh…hysterical.
He was so close in looks,...identical …I couldn’t stop laughing, even as I sat down got dressed, unleashing a barrage of insults and put downs from my perch above while he stood there fondling himself.
Won’t go into details of what happen next,..only that when I called in the complaint, the sheriff naturally asked can you describe him? I laughed again, not to the amusement of the sheriff, who questioned how I could not take this serious.
To which I could only tell him ....that he looked like... well that first thought that had hit me,….
“OH MY GOD, IT'S MR. BEAN”
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