AChat Forum
Discussions about AChat => Share your creative ideas => Topic started by: Zinah on December 04, 2011, 01:33:45 PM
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So, the "domination from behind" pose was termed 'rape' recently, and it set my teeth on edge. In my experience, there's a significant difference between willing sexual submission (rough or soft) and rape.
I don't do rape scenes. If I'm in the room with you, I want sex and I won't pretend differently (at least not for longer then 3 or 4 poses). Odds are 10 - 1 that I want rough, greedy, selfish, serve your desire anyway you want, sex. Want to throw me across the room, bounce me off the wall then fall on me and be in with no foreplay... I love that your need drives you to extremes. It's powerful even as I submit to your lusts.
Will I say things like "I love it when you rape my cunt and make me cum for you?" Yes, if I know, flat out the word won't send you over the edge. If I think it'll freak you out, that word will never cross my lips in scene. I'm into being controlled and helpless during sex ( My kink is OK! So is yours, don't judge!)
Rape, at it's core is a control/power issue for the Rapist. The victim can't stop it and No doesn't work. I know what it's like to be forced/manipulated into sex I didn't want and it wasn't violent or aggressive or painful, qualities commonly attached to the term/act of 'rape'.
I have a huge personality. I have overwhelming energy. I'm very dominant in most aspects of my life. However, if someone saw me having sex the way I enjoy it the most, they'd call the cops and my partner would be in jail, for rape. At least until I could convince someone I like my sex about snarling, growling domination and control and that I consented to that level of intensity.
Make me submit. It works for me.... LOTS.
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Ehehe ,you do have quite the flavour to your post Zinah. :D
I do agree with you that "domination from behind" shouldn't be called a rape pose, but rather rough which is a good term for it. If some feels it is a rape pose then it's simply not a pose for them.
A flaw of "domination from behind" is that you'd need to have a very strong midriff for some of the options, though that's not really interesting in this thread.
I must say... sex the way you describe it Zinah, that is one of my favourite ways to do it when I'm with men :D. Damn, I do love getting fucked roughly until my dick shoots my cum uncontrollably... those orgasms are so intense... and then some more fucking. :P
I'm however not too interested in that when it's the other way around and I'm the giver, it doesn't appeal to me very much then... and I would have to wear a sports bra ::). It does make me a little irritated here on AChat when women approach me wanting just that from me, if that's what they want they should look for men and not shemales.
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Actually I get a great many women wanting me to dominate them. It's more a matter of subbing tends to be easier, or more accurately the image of it is that it is easier as they think they can lay back and Mistress will know all and do it perfectly, but I've ranted a great deal of the subject in other threads. I would guess you are running into similar souls.
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I'm however not too interested in that when it's the other way around and I'm the giver, it doesn't appeal to me very much then... and I would have to wear a sports bra ::). It does make me a little irritated here on AChat when women approach me wanting just that from me, if that's what they want they should look for men and not shemales.
I think I'm going to call you on that and say that people, ideally, are best served by seeking someone willing to scene they want to scene. It's not only about shemales but anyone. I don't dominate men. I get more guys calling me Mistress than I care to recollect. ::)
I have any number of things that I deeply enjoy receiving but am unwilling to give. Rough, sex with a male where I'm the dominant, is right out. Not gonna happen any day that I can currently foresee in this or even the next lifetime. First time a saw a ball busting scene, I wanted to cry. :'( I kept thinking, "...But but, the poor penis! :o Don't hurt it! :'( Love the penis!" ;D :D
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I think your right in that Janine, many "subs" seem to assume just that and I guess your right Zinah... it's about everyone and they have to find the partners willing to do that.
Zinah, I also get the sub guys asking me to dominate them... not my thing either. But... ball busting... I don't think I want to see that at all, I'd probably wince seeing it.
I'm not much for taking my pleasure, if a girl wants me to fuck her hard it's rather something that we work up to together and it happens in the heat of the moment.
It's actually kinda the same with men for me, I like to work things up a bit before the sex really starts, teasing, playing and such... I really do like to tease guys :P. It's also because I don't have a vagina so I like to prepare, relax and lube myself up before things start. If I don't get some foreplay and a chance to relax it will hurt, but if I do get a chance it'll just feel good. :)
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~snip~ the image of it [subbing] is that it is easier as they think they can lay back and Mistress will know all and do it perfectly, ~snip~
Which is utter crap, because if they are doing it right, [subbing] they will be doing just as much as the Mistress. Why folks think D/s or s/m is a unidirectional experience, hell any dynamic between persons, isn't having the best and most fulfilling experience possible.
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If I'm the sub I like to give some in return. I think many believe the sub should be silent, obedient and demure... I rather be a playful, naughty and teasing sub. :P
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If I'm the sub I like to give some in return. I think many believe the sub should be silent, obedient and demure... I rather be a playful, naughty and teasing sub. :P
I couldn't agree more. A mistress I was rooming with recently said that in these situations, it's actually the sub who has control and not the dom/domme, and if you think it through, it is true, if you don't want them to dominate you they can't. When I'm being dominated ( read my profile to see how often that is!) it's my reaction/s that swing the mood not the demands made by the dom/domme.
Playful, naughty and teasing? oh yes and quite vociferous too!
;D
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I have done a couple forced rp's though I personally don't find it that entertaining. There is something more compelling of a willing partner you unravel the mysteries of the play with.
Lol.. glad I got my play time in Zinah, after reading that paragraph I'll be lucky to find you free for a long time. ;)
I cringe at the word rape on that pose,.. I see it as extreme ,... hot, :P... definitely pushing the fringe of hard passionate lust. That's how it goes sometimes, when the moment is definitely raw and unbridled. It's a good pose for when things are well along ... and there is definitely a big difference from the vaginal verses anal side of the approach. The spectrum of play is damn wide and poses will not appeal to every person.If they did this would be a pretty boring place.
Guys doing dominating play are probably a dime a dozen,... finding a subby type who can interact and project their feelings,...sensations, are the real rare commodity. It's one reason I don't extend that side of my Dom play to everyone, just too much work, and hardly entertaining if the partner is silent or provides basic bland responses. "oh that cock feels good there.." doesn't do it for me.
So what your mistress said is true bluedemin,... when a sub gives themselves over, they create in their offer a unique bond that they can shatter at a whim. It's one reason when I do find a partner with whom I thoroughly enjoy spending that energy on, I try to make certain each experience is evoking and different. I want them to hold a desire to return and find something new in their play with me. A Dom/Domme holds their value in creating a need in the relationship they form with their sub, that "need" being a desire in their subordinate to be driven to continue that connection. Around here there is certainly a big difference between those whose need is an rp of ownership, and those whose need is driven by the style of play and the connection it creates.
Adera there might be those who want the silent type.. . but it is hardly entertaining, and quite difficult to unravel exactly what play gets them turned on and unhinged. I am not a mindreader.
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Lol.. glad I got my play time in Zinah, after reading that paragraph I'll be lucky to find you free for a long time. ;)
My dance card always has a spot for you, Boss.
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Like I said, I've ranted a great deal on the subject before. So I will simply nod and say yeah... "Janine's Dungeon" in Erotic Fantasies has a great deal on the subject already.
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A very good place to start for those interested. The topics are very well covered there.
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Only recently I have found myself capable of losing all inhibitions and letting primal urges come to the surface. I have always tried to be gentle with women as I was raised that way.
When it happened the first time, desire and lust raised to such a level, that I lost control and gave in to my needs, something I had never experienced before. My partner, startled at first as she didn't know me like that, was happily surprised being taken that forcefully all of a sudden. As we know eachohter well, I felt comfortable enough with her to explore that covered side of my sexual personality.
It was amazing, for both of us. For her, because she had never seen me that dominant, forceful and determined. She loved submitting to me because she felt the passion and desire for her. For me, for breaking the boundries that kept this part of me in the shadows and more or less liberated me. It wasn't just a mindless fuck, the circumstances, the flow in talk and the room brought it up naturally. The only thing I did was give in to the desire...
It offered something special, something I had never felt before, when 'ravishing' a woman. Allowing yourself to give in to that urge, doesn't have anything to do with rape, as some poses and actions are described by some people here. In my view it isn't. Rough, forceful and dominating, yes. But for me, always following the passion and desire I feel for someone, and only if I know she can handle it and view it from the right perspective...
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Tight you can always dominate me anytime ;) ;D ::)
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Welcome to a whole new world Tight. :)
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Lol.. glad I got my play time in Zinah, after reading that paragraph I'll be lucky to find you free for a long time. ;)
My dance card always has a spot for you, Boss.
Good,... full moon is arising and Ursus has his needs... awaiting for you to do your job. You know how nasty that can get.
Greedy .... vary greedy
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@ sexilicious ;D I know....
Janine, I must admit this game has given me a roller coaster ride. I dicovered so much about myself, my sexual preferences, even hidden layers that I, as a simple provincial guy, never suspected I harbored inside me. Your welcome means a lot to me ;)
Wether I am happy with these new depths, I am not sure.. Thoug tempting, tantalising, excrutiatingly arousing, there are still bonds that keep me back, telling me to keep control of the urge. Not sure how this will develope in the future. Has anyone ever ffelt they were close to going over the edge? Not saying I am, but the worry of losing competele control over what I do in a rush of lust, does stick in my mind...
excuse me for drifting off topic, if I have...
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I don't think you have. What I would first recommend is that you allow AChat to let you explore that part of yourself since consent is given by the person not exiting room.
Even then I would make sure you let those bonds loosen with lovers you are comfortable with, and you have spoken with on the matter. While spontaneity has it's allure the reality often makes more problems then issues when you spring that on someone.
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Well this is a definite place to explore that side of yourself Tight'. It's not about losing control, but rather imposing control via a change in choice of vocabulary and actions to create a confident persona. More than likely a partner has provided signals in the course of scene, the question sometimes is whether one is locked up in their own actions they read the signs there or not. One can achieve the same thru a regular partner by pushing the envelope a bit more each time. There in itself is a method of exploration which might provide you with a better comfort level.
As I noted before, I seldom let the whole cat out of the bag. I hold something back,...tease them in that regard, as each session escalates from the prior session.
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Hmm I think Zinah is far better than me in bringing that out of guys. :D
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It was out long before she arrived on the scene... ;D
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Bear and Janine, thanks for your explanantion and wise recommendations..
It was actually the game itself that introduced me to this kind of play. And I was fortunate enough that someone special (you know who you are *kiss*) started a journey with me almost a year ago. Although it has been a mental exercise so far (not having been with a rl partner in a long time [too long to even mention here]), the feelings and urges are getting stronger.
AChat does prvide a safe environment in which I can explore further, knowing that I am only a click away from an unlikeable experience (my partner in the room having the same possibility). Stealing words from a friend, the vanilla monster (the well socialised member of society) has still got a big inflluence on me. Having been imprinted heavily with showing respect to women, be a gentleman and no means no, I have an internal dialogue that tells me what I am doing and feeling isn't quite the way a 'normal' person would feel..
Having discovered the arousal giving into these urges brings me, and surprising friends (happily :) ) when unleashing, definitly makes me consider sharing these feelings with my dearest friends and see who would consent with exploring them, help me release the bonds of the vanilla monster.. We'll see how it goes. I do know that I can come to you with my thoughts. That does make things a lot easier. Thanks guys :)
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its not rape if you yell "surprise"
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Unless they are deaf,... trying to sign it out in American Sign Language takes a bit of the spontaneity out of it
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actually the sign language for "surprise" could be the most terrifying shit you'll ever see
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(http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/signjpegs/s/surprise2.jpg)
(http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/signjpegs/s/surprise2.jpg)
(http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/signjpegs/s/surprise3.jpg)
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Well, Tight if you want to explore more I know of a very willing person who can help you out ::) with showing that side of yourself ;) and question what kind of kiss to the you know who you are person ;) we talking a very hot kiss or just a :-* like a little peck hehehehe ;) i know i'm naughty
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(http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/signjpegs/s/surprise2.jpg)
(http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/signjpegs/s/surprise2.jpg)
(http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/signjpegs/s/surprise3.jpg)
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