AChat Forum
Discussions about sex => Everything about sex and love => Topic started by: christinak on July 02, 2012, 09:05:00 AM
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My profile already says “No Pics”, but it seems that just isn’t clear. So I’m putting it on public record. I do not share my personal information, my pictures, and under no circumstances do I video chat. This is not negotiable, up for debate, or discussion. I cannot say it any more plain. But if you still feel the need to pester me about this, I will explain why.
Those of you who have been around long enough, know that I played AChat for a while and left suddenly a little over a year ago. The reason being, that a manipulative player, who as far as I can tell doesn’t have an account anymore, and seemed like a very nice person, talked me into sharing my email address with him, and chatting via video. One night after a few glasses of wine on my part, I agreed to let him watch me masturbate on camera. The next day I get an email from him with a link to a website where he posted the video he recorded without telling me. Needless to say I felt humiliated! Now I know I am partly to blame for this since I agreed to do it on camera. But I doubt that anyone here will disagree that it was a horrible thing to do to someone. Especially when he refused to remove the video from the website. I can only thank God that my face is never seen in the video. So I wrote him a very nasty email, put him on my ignore list and never spoke to him again.
But that’s not the end of the story. About a month later, I start getting emails from guess who? His wife. Never once did he tell me he was married. Yet his wife is now on a rampage. Trying to find out who I am, where I work, and what my phone number is. Again, I don’t blame her for being that angry. If I were in her place, I would no doubt, be just as furious. But you can see what an awkward situation I was in.
So now there is a video of me masturbating on the internet (No, I will not tell you where you can see it). And man’s wife who, no doubt, would still like to get even with me, even though I had no idea her husband was even married. All because I agreed to share personal info and to chat via video. So I closed that email account, and canceled my AChat account.
I missed AChat, and my friends, but I didn’t want to go through that again. So I made a promise to myself that this time I would not, under any circumstances, put myself through that again. Yet some players are already trying to do just that. I am sorry to have to be so unfriendly about this, but if anyone continues to ask me for this kind intrusion into my personal privacy after I tell you no, I will put you on my ignore list and I will not take you off.
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Hello Miss, and all kind peoples of the DreamWorld's Forum.
Well, I have the some announcement ( " NO PICS / IRL ) on my profile, for almost the same reason.
It was not a Video, but a Picture, and I wasn't harassed by a wife but by Users of where the ... guy I gave my pictures
had post them, with my email contact and ... nasty comments about my little person .
I made the mistake once, I'll never do it again, for any reason .
I wanted to post and reply about it, not for sharing this awful experience that lead me too, as you Miss to completely change
my accounts, logs and even close some sites I was into.
And, for in my life some pictures came from fetish party, lead me to no more participate to such party.
But to humbly warn peoples who may not have such experience and thinks that having some basics cares is enough.
Well, I think we had and have all of us, moments when our guard is low, peoples we think we really trust, kinky wants and lust at one moment.
But when publishing our picture, video, e-mail ... all personal facts , we just loose the control on them .
We do not know what will happen next ... the trusted people may be hacked, or accidentally publish them ...
So take care kind peoples, some others peoples are not so kind.
And trust me, trust Miss Christinak this can be very damaging to find ourself on the net ... not to said about or family and friends for sometime, with social links as Facebook, the pics even emerge modified and with awkward comments ...
This situation may force us to change some aspects of our life and cut us from occupations we pleased once ...
I think that even peoples who want to publish pictures of them may moderated at least the face ... or unique particularity ( tattoos ... )
( At least, even my picture on my profile, while anonymous, is photoshopped to clean a tattoo I have )
But of course everybody is free. And this is not my wish to judge or "tell the only true" ...
But I think sometime we may be vulnerables ... and after it is too late for remorses and regrets ...
Sorry if I bore you.
Please accepts my best Humbly regards.
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Oh, don't think for a minute that I blame myself for what that jerk did. Not at all. I just can't sit back and pretend to be surprised that his wife is that angry. I would be too, and I doubt I'd be willing to listen to the woman my husband was having his online affair with. The only thing I am willing to share part of the blame on is doing what I did on camera. I was stupid enough to do it over the internet, so I can only cry foul up to a point. After that I have to admit to myself, that you can't say no after the fact.
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Miss Christy I am so sorry for what happened to you and it could so easily happen to any of us. I must tell at least 5 people / day that I will not exchange pictures or talk to them "off-site" .
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I applaud you for posting this, A stern warning I think and one to think about if ever you find yourself in a similar situation ...
Thank you Christie for allowing us to learn from your experience ...
And can I just say ... that guy ... what an utter TWAT for abusing your trust and intimacy in that way...
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Very strong of you to get through this Christy, and thanks for sharing how very bad it may very well turn out. *hugs*
And can I just say ... that guy ... what an utter TWAT for abusing your trust and intimacy in that way...
I fully agree with you on this Brandy.
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2 days ago i talked to a girl that was confronted with exactly, but to the letter exactly what happened to you Christina. While it made my stomach turn, she seemed proud at first. But as we talked about it, she realised her face is shown in the video and it got her worried that someone in her close surroundings will recognise her.
The story sounded too similar. One thing is clear, there are a lot of bastards online and sometimes I feel ashamed of being a man. I have shared pics and email adresses with a few of my friends but it wouldn't even come to my mind to put these online. I view it as something very personal, something shared between close friends/lovers, strictly private. In fact I think it is criminal to do something like you've described.
Thank you for sharing your story and I hope the lesson is picked up and not taken for granted.
edited: Point taken Lover..
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Christinak:
I applaud you for taking this stand... btw, you can send an official letter to the website owners to have the video removed as you are the subject of the video and in no way shape or form did the person who posed it have your permission to upload it. (A standard model release is proof enough, and since one obviously doesn't exist, it should be enough to have it removed.
As far as his wife is concerned... sounds like she's in denial or has been led to believe that you seduced him... LOLZ, the truth should be more than enough for the wife to seek legal counsel and have his ass punted to the curb in divorce court.
While it is unfortunate that it happened, we all learn from our past mistakes and become wiser as a result of it.
"Men, You can't shoot them for sport, but trapping is still allowed in some countries."
You have my support.
Mwah!
Az.
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@Azrielle
Yeah, I wrote an email to the only address on the website and did just that. Never got a response. So I went to the police. Where I got to go through the added humiliation of telling a male police officer the whole story, made a report, and told them what video it was. I'm sure they all got a really good thrill watching me too. About a two weeks later I got a phone call from them, telling me there was nothing they could do because the website was on a computer in another country. All in all, it's an experience I don't recommend.
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This is why I never take what people ask seriously anymore. If people make demands of me... all I do is warn them "you make demands of me for video/pics the ignore button is one click away consider yourself warned"
I have had the stalking thing happen and i am not interested in a repeat of it so regardless of their assurances of the fact they are different i know one thing. It only takes one slip for them to betray that trust so I never give them the opportunity anymore.
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Well glad that some are willing to stand up on this subject... no means no....
What part of N or O do they not understand?
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christinak, i'm sorry for that and i can only try to imagine how frustrating it will be or what your emotion was when you found it out....
the real issue, here or on other online adult chat, is how deep you can trust someone on the other side of the screen. It need time (lot of!) to build a perfect bond and a full trust and all we can do is try, but if we don't feel sure at all, better make a step back before things get bad.
Anyway, now you are back and this is good! it's nice to have you here christinak!
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Christinak, I'm sorry for what has happened to you. Though I disagree with Tight in one point - I'm not ashamed to be a man. True men never will do this. Neither if women or men, every asshole doing this is not human being. This kind of behaviour is craven, furtive and only discovers the strange mind of bastards.
Those muppets don't deserve any respect, understanding and no mercy if they ever get caught.
Sharing pics, email or any kind of personal infos demand honest trust. I also was gifted with some pics - I never would show them to anyone - even if this person would behave like an asshole to me one day.
I just hope that everyone with similar experiences don't loose hope and faith that there also are nice people around. And nice people accept each "no" and stop asking - or don't start to ask if they read your description.
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My profile already says “No Pics”, but it seems that just isn’t clear. So I’m putting it on public record. I do not share my personal information, my pictures, and under no circumstances do I video chat. This is not negotiable, up for debate, or discussion. I cannot say it any more plain. But if you still feel the need to pester me about this, I will explain why.
Those of you who have been around long enough, know that I played AChat for a while and left suddenly a little over a year ago. The reason being, that a manipulative player, who as far as I can tell doesn’t have an account anymore, and seemed like a very nice person, talked me into sharing my email address with him, and chatting via video. One night after a few glasses of wine on my part, I agreed to let him watch me masturbate on camera. The next day I get an email from him with a link to a website where he posted the video he recorded without telling me. Needless to say I felt humiliated! Now I know I am partly to blame for this since I agreed to do it on camera. But I doubt that anyone here will disagree that it was a horrible thing to do to someone. Especially when he refused to remove the video from the website. I can only thank God that my face is never seen in the video. So I wrote him a very nasty email, put him on my ignore list and never spoke to him again.
But that’s not the end of the story. About a month later, I start getting emails from guess who? His wife. Never once did he tell me he was married. Yet his wife is now on a rampage. Trying to find out who I am, where I work, and what my phone number is. Again, I don’t blame her for being that angry. If I were in her place, I would no doubt, be just as furious. But you can see what an awkward situation I was in.
So now there is a video of me masturbating on the internet (No, I will not tell you where you can see it). And man’s wife who, no doubt, would still like to get even with me, even though I had no idea her husband was even married. All because I agreed to share personal info and to chat via video. So I closed that email account, and canceled my AChat account.
I missed AChat, and my friends, but I didn’t want to go through that again. So I made a promise to myself that this time I would not, under any circumstances, put myself through that again. Yet some players are already trying to do just that. I am sorry to have to be so unfriendly about this, but if anyone continues to ask me for this kind intrusion into my personal privacy after I tell you no, I will put you on my ignore list and I will not take you off.
As previous players have, I would like to express my anger and sadness that another person has injured you in this manner. You are completely justified in setting up new restrictions to protect yourself, and I would never attempt to convince you otherwise.
However, I would add a supplemental thought for you to ponder over time. The fact that you are posting on here shows you are resilient and have recovered from the embarassment. However, I do have some empathy for the deeper injury to your trust. The unfeeling individual that did this to you robbed you and any of us that might have met you of your trust. In other circumstances, I have had someone close betray me, and I had to set up barriers to protect myself. It has taken years to modify them so that I remain vigilant, but do not wall others out.
I hope some day you can fashion a compromise where you feel safe, but can openly share some of the trust you lost with good people who demonstrate they respect you. :-*
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i dont understand why some peoples are persistants so i tell here too :
1- i dont share pics (the only you can see are the ones i put in my profile , some are me , some are 3d ones)
2- i dont give my e-mail
3- i can say my first name but never my familly name
4- its no use to ask me to be your girlfriend , i can find one near where i leave
5- no use too to give me your E-mail i rarely watch my MSN ( you want chat ? there is the word chat in Achat )
6- no video chat for the reasons that christinak explained
So when you ask me once and i say no , its NO USE to ask me again few minutes later the same thing , my anwser will not change .
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I was surprised categorical title of this topic,
now reading all this, forgive me guys I have such a wish to slaps that jerk over his face without saying a word except,you pitiful little pathetic human being.
Though I am not supporter of slaps, just my temperament.
Oh Christy I'm so sorry that you went through such a experience and I am so glad you came back here again.
Suppose that wasn't easy for you after all.
Thank you for that and for you shared this with us.
I agree with the Lover,our precious Tight (dear man always feels guilty about bad guys)
and with all the other here who have supported you on this topic.
But do not be so strict in your decision, not cause of that jerk.
West said everything well and I do really agree with him you should not wall others out.
Don't allow bad things to change you - let good things to do that, instead of.
There is nothing to be ashamed you- that jerk is only one who should be shame.
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Oh regarding his wife:
I can understand the anger when someone feels betrayed, jealousy on another woman , all that bitter feelings...
but to write emails directly to you, even more attempting to find out everything about you.. !!
She should have known that it is called violating and threatening someone's privacy. It is not permissible, especially considering that she do not know and had no contact with you. I can't have understanding for such behavior, regardless of her position. Besides that is ridiculous, hey we are talking here about adults who are married !? What she thinks she will achieve disturbing you ??
Better to take care of her problems with her husband instead of attempts to blame someone else for it.
I was betrayed - think not just once., from a guy who I loved, long time ago.
It was my first love, first time I fallen in love.He was handsome, smart ,full confidence, popular all around with his good look and his motorbike.I'm not really crazy about bikers but there you go he still seduced me. Unfortunately he was crazy about girls. I lived at that time in a small town, rumors can hear very quickly.I decided to pretend to be blind, convincing myself I'm the main girl - he loves me. Everything is fine as long as he do not lie directly to me.(stupid girl but it's all true). Sorry to say but it lasted quite long.
Guess I couldn't pretend forever , in addition he started to lay without any shame.
One night we planned to go out together,he said that unfortunately he has urgent business tasks and he'll be occupied the entire day and evening, (told even some details about that alleged tasks) saying that he feels very sorry and that he'll make up to me.Oh God, even hugged me and said how much he loves me. And I was really pissed off but I didn't say a single word except " okay I understand".
Thought, this can't continue further. I went to our mutual friend who knew all of what happens in the city. I believed that he would have some answers for me. I found him, told him the situation and how I feel, asked for his understanding, begging him to tell me what are the urgent tasks - means the name of girl with whom he planing to go out that night. He had no choice if he still want to be my friend except to tell the truth.Also told him I do not intend to do anything stupid nor to hurt anyone at anyway.
He knew he can trust me, he explained me everything what I needed to know and even more.
I knew the girl by sight, assumed that I could find her maybe at a nearby club, where we all gathered.I was lucky, have found her that afternoon. I approached her with a smile,(although it was a bit painful), introduced myself and explained who I am. She was very confused and it seems a little scared. I told her, do not worry I just came to tell you that this guy makes fools of us and please don't think - I do not blame you at all. She just stood speechless, her eyes filled with tears (assume that she was deeply in love with him too) and then spontaneously she hugged me. I was surprised didn't expect that. Then we started laughing like crazy.. I'll never forget that dear girl.. I said; '' Don't know what you'll do for my own part I am finished with him. Don't know how but this meeting with you has helped me to decide quickly, so I am planning to buy a ticket for the concert tonight and to have really good time. Just to be clear, be free to do what you want really, I won't mind if you stay with him and I'm very grateful to you for this talk."
She said:"Can I go with you on the show, of course, if you don't mind and if you need company , maybe a little weird to ask but I would really like, probably we will not become a friends after all.." I answered: " No, I do not mind - anyway I have no company ,the concert just simple came up - so be my guest, but wait - don't you need to meet him tonight ?" She said : "Yes ,we have a meeting at 8pm, think I don't want to and I need time to think."
Then crazy idea came to my mind, I asked her: "Would you mind, given that the concert start at 9pm, we go together to meet him at 8pm .. After that you can stay with him or to go with me, whatever you want, but really I would be glad to see his face when he sees us together ?"She has accepted saying "Oh I would love that too" Exactly at 8pm we were on the place, after a while he appeared theatrically entering the club, as always. All happy and full of himself. Two of us are sitting in separea. I sat with my back, turned towards door, she was across from me. Then he approached her with a big smile, kissed her and he didn't notice me even for a moment.
She said: "Please meet my new friend and pointed at me"
An then he turned and looked at me, O God ...how he was dumbfounded, he lend a hand and immediately withdrew, his smile disappeared from the face, then he think blushed a bit. Then he began to stutter, failing to pronounce a single meaningful word, front of the eyes of all people who watched it - already enough unpleasant situation makes it even more embarrassing for him.
When he finally succeeded ,after some time, to gather himself, he said : "How come , you two together ?"
I just said hello and goodbye stood up and moved to the door, she said "Wait I'm going with you "...
I apologize to the detail on the story, think this is the shortest I can and hope that my English was clear enough.Thought maybe somehow my story and experience can help someone.
So dear Christy, I'm sorry but I can not have understanding for his wife's behavior .
I am proud of you, what you somehow dealing with it,honestly I wouldn't know what to do in that situation.
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Jeanona... reading your words made me sad, laughing, being proud of you, surprising... I went to all posibble emotions.
I know you a bit (and like you as you know) but I never thought you can be so wonderful devilish :D You had a lot of courage and strength to handle as you did. From the view of a (almost friendly ;) ) guy I say: You did anything right - you both did.
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I've stated these in my Dungeon, and it can be repeated here... the good ones will respect your boundaries, and the best predators are the most convincing.
I still remember christina's first times here on AChat, and missing her when she left. Something that actually gives me some personal anger at this guy for what he did.
Still, I applaud you sweetie for standing up and sharing your story. Hopefully it can save someone from a similar fate.
As far as the idea of slowly building to that point... I'm sure this guy did just that with christina.
To draw upon BDSM there are hard limits, and soft limits, and they are set by the person themselves. Soft limits are areas you aren't comfortable with, but are designating are areas you are willing to leave open. Hard limits are areas you aren't budging on.
I said right away that I was keeping AChat separate from my personal life, and I had a challenge on that rather early on.
One girl got VERY interested in me, and I would SIT on the AChat program just waiting for me to log on. Always wanting to room with me, never giving me a chance to room with anyone else, continually trying to get me to tell her about my personal life.
Honestly I think on some level she was planning on us moving in together and already naming our cats.
When I held that line she then started trying to guilt me, and I eventually had to cut all ties to her... I still remember spending a couple hours with Lover telling me how I wasn't responsible for her not being able to respect my limits, and that I shouldn't feel as guilty as I did.
Because the most skilled of these sorts whether predatory like christina's or just obsessive like mine will learn your buttons, and push all of them to get want they want out of you.
Still, it's much like those people in real life, while of course it's bad to shut down entirely, you have the right to protect yourself, and if someone faults you for that then they are likely the one you need to be most concerned about.
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I just want to say thanks for this thread.
I had an experience that wasn't anything like as bad as Christina's, but it was bad enough to keep me away for several months, and I really missed coming here.
The reason I feel the need to say thanks is because now I'm completely sure that setting these limits is reasonable, and I know I shouldn't even have that question but when enough people act like you're being unreasonable, you start to wonder if you are.
best wishes to all :)
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I understand what happen to you...something like that happen to me but not as bad as you..After a month or 2 of be on Achat I met a girl
we would spend all out time on Achat together Hours just chatting then one day she asked me could i send her a pic of me.so after a few week i said i would but not a nake one of me she was ok with that and would send one back to me we did this for a few weeks pic of me out with friend and she would do the same then one day she said she would like to see more of me in the picture so first i send picture of my breasts and it want on from there..I was start to fell for her so one day she ask me for my facebook page and i said yes.. by this time we would chatting all day on yahoo she know ever thing about me my friends where i love to go with them on a night out..then one day in achat i told her that i could come out to her and we could be together for real.. she told me to go to my yahoo Messenger and she had to show me something so i want She send me a picture of a guy when i said to her who is this think she say it was her ex it was her a guy my world fell a part..after the shock of it..i stop coming on to achat and had to tell all my friends.. get new FB,,yahoo and email..i did not come back on Achat for over 9 months but i know now i will never do that again its a game and thats all it will be to me..
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I truly do understand, after experiencing such a betrayal in trust. it very hard to come back to the way you were. Iv never had any on Achat so far. but Iv had them through out my life. Growing up as a target for cruel pranks that play on the heart. so many knifes left in my back by girls who say they like me and best friends who lie to get what they want from me. As made me put up shields around my heart. but I don't wall my self off as i leave doors on them. now and then i have let few pass through but not many. Iv been called cold, mean, emotionless. Growing up with these scare as left my love life and relationships very small to not being there. But thanks to a very special somebody I have learned again to open up more.<3
If fact I'm quite emotional guy I feel lot of emotions and i feel them very strongly.On this topic i can slip my self into two sides. One side is weighed heavy with grief at hearing all your stories, my heart gos to you all.The other half of me boils with great Anger at how people can performed such evil with out every considering what harm it will do to other. It bring me to the point sometime were I could do harm to them. as a kind person and one who dislike violence such feeling I do not like and controlling them take a lot on my part.
betrayal is the greatest of all sins and it should never be done.