AChat Forum
Discussions about sex => Everything about sex and love => Topic started by: mercer78 on November 18, 2012, 07:39:17 PM
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Hi all first off thanks for taking the time to read my topic. My problem is making the first move these days I try to start conversations but mostly get ignored by the ladies on here. Strangely when I first joined I did pretty well now but now the only people that really engage with me are the ones I've already established a relationship with there are a couple of exceptions to this I'll admit for example I was invited into a last night which was fun but I didn't initiate that one. any one got any advice on how to break the ice with ladies on here?
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I'm guilty of many times logging in and waiting for someone in particular. So Im usually doing something else and not paying attention.
but even when I'm not, I usually don't respond to "HI" or "hello" and if you call me mommy it's over. The point is I need more. get my attention with something. Recite Shakespear or comment on my clothes ( I have spent gobs of money on them) Many of us ladies actually put thought into what our avatar has on. I know I do. I change my clothes depending on my mood. Its the same as in real life, tell a girl you like her dress and why. and you will get a thank you and it can go from there.
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Hello mercer78
As a guy here I always read the ladys profile page to try and get same idea to what they may like.
But I know lots of guys and girls out there don't read them at all. And i'm with Momma_andrea about hi and hello never a good starter.
If I am starting a convertion with someone new yes hello is the first word but it is very quickly fallowed by something about the person may be there eyes,hair,cloths and I have even used the action of there avatar.I know how long the lady's take on them as I always say how good they look.
Hope that helps a little
Tango
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Andrea and Master Tango are right.....a simple hello can't be enough!
So many time happen it's followed by an invitation to room togheter and usually i refuse it. As Master Tango said, read the profile and you can find a good hint to start the conversation! for example, some girls had start to talk to me cause they find a little incredible i'm a guy (my avi is a shemale in AChat) and they ask me about it. It's a start like another but it make you understand they spend time reading description and not only looking at your avi and feel the urge to have sex with you!
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A good case in point. I had just bought the blue Qipao dress and I had agonized over the decision for a day or more. I couldn't decide on the blue or the the more pinkish one and I couldn't afford both. SO I put it on with white stockings and garters and black shoes and Immediatly Im getting comments about the dress or some comments about how my legs look in it. Now I had just been real insecure about buying it , now all these guys were commenting on it.
I tried my best to answer everyone of them. They were sweet and said what a girl needed to hear when she needed it.
Chance? Pure luck? Maybe. but I answered.
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Well Momma_andrea looks like people do read the forums may be :)
Lets hope so any way
Tango
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In fact you need to be different then all the others are. 99% say hi or hello or "do you wanna fuck?" And sometimes it's hard to answer (especially for the girls) because they get plenty of welcomes and cold invites.
It's always helpful to say something about the clothes they are wearing or the banner or the profile pic they have.
And you need to be patient. Try and try again and you will be successfull in the end.
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Be a gentleman.Treat the lady like a lady. Compliment her looks, clothing, hair and eyes. Remember they want to look their best and they like knowing you realize the time the took to look like the do. They are dressing to please you.
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personnaly , i try , if i'm not busy , to anwser even to "hi" . But when i anwsered to someone who say just hi , i wait for her/him to say something else before start a real chat .
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Well said Ssgt. Its always nice to have an ego boost about the effort put into your profile & vice versa. I like a guy with a good sense of humour too, mixed with a little arrogance ...
I take more notice of guys who treat first contact as that, first contact and chat up for a potential date... guess I like to test if the chemistry is there first before rooming ;D And I'm sure they are testing the same :)
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sometimes I will answer to hi, it depends what kind of mood Im in,
Like Andrea I have spend the last week deciding on what to wear over the xmas on here,
Ssgt; we all know that you are a Gentleman lol
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I don't have to worry about any of that with Robot Girl. All I have to do is ask "Are you 36.243.1?"
She says "Hello Honey."
And I say "Hiya Baby."
And she says. "You little bitch!"
Then I invite.
Or ... with a real person... I like this one.
Covems: "Hello. Do you believe in the Here After?"
Nice lady: "Yes, I do."
Covems: "Good, then you know what I'm here after. :) "
Sometimes that works... most times it doesn't.
On a more serious note, I just use the golden rule and treat others the way I like to be treated. Sometimes all I want to do is just chat.
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LOL @ Covems :-* :-*
Hi and Hello never work for my and Do you want a fuck = ignore list
READ MY PROFILE PAGE is the answer Hi and Hello get
Be nice and talk to me
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On a more serious note, I just use the golden rule and treat others the way I like to be treated. Sometimes all I want to do is just chat.
Best hint of the day, Covems! i'm with you on all the line and it's a rule who work for the real world too, of course!
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Wow thanks for all the great advice guys. I do sometimes try to make comments on clothes and banners and such maybe I should do that a lot more often. As for coming up with clever things to say never been all that great at that maybe that's why I'm single in real life lol. Thanks again for taking the time to answer me you're all awesome. ;D
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I wouldn't say that I only dress to please others, quite often I dress to please my own vanity as well. ::)
Anyway a hi or hello is very common and it doesn't stick out in the least so it rarely catches my attention. A witty comment or something of the sort is much more likely to catch my attention and make me interested in actually talking some to the person.
However, a lot of people, even those that had a good way to get my attention often end up way short... and that's because in the next few messages they'll ask me to room with them. I mostly decline those requests at once, I'm rarely interested in rooming right of the bat and definitely not with someone I don't know at all.
To really break the ice and get me interested is if I get the feeling that there is some sexual tension with whom I'm chatting with and not just a one sided desire to get off. But of course that's quite picky so I mostly end up only chatting when I'm online, I'm perfectly fine with that myself but I guess there are many who primarily want to get off when they log on.
I guess that what I want to say is that even though you might get a response, or more, the conversation can die very quickly if you're looking for different things.
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Hi Adera thanks for the reply I agree I've never been one to push for room after a few messages because for it's as much about the social aspect as it is about getting off. A lot of times when I log in I just chat to my friends for a bit and anyone else who feels like joining in like to think I'm a pretty friendly guy.
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This is a really interesting discussion. To be honest I think that breaking the ice is not very difficult from a woman's point of view. I just think most of the men are just too superficial to break the ice. I do not want to tell all the secrets about women but I would like to agree to a few of the points that have been mentioned before and add maybe some new sights.
First of all, men tend to not to read profiles carefully enough. We do spent a lot of time in being creative in filling out our profiles. If a "female" profile is not completely filled out I tend to assume that this "female" is not really a "female" in real life :-) So if we spent lot sof thinking in our profile text then we went people to read and recognize what we wrote. So reading the profile and starting the conversation according to what girls have written IS REALLY an ice-breaker.
Another think is the greetings with just a plain "hi" or "hello" or "how r u". If I wouldn't be fine I wouldn't be online with AChat at the moment so the question is completely useless. Especially if women have a "talkative" attribute in her profile - do not expect to break the ice with a simple one word comment. Try to adress her in full sentences with some kind of a sentence structure.
Again, comments about our dresses are REALLY welcomed. We do not spent hours in front of a mirror, shopping four hours to find the right dress and like to change our dresses according to the mood for the reason that nobody recognizes. So if you see a girl in nylon stockings, a latex dress or a belly dancer outfit that might be points where you could start a conversation with.
And what is also interferes the effort to break the ice is the too early question if a girl wants to join room with you or even if she wanna fuck. Guys please, in times of emancipation don't you think we would not let you know as soon as we would like to join room with you or want to have sexual fun? Additionally, at least for me it is often the case that I have aparallel chats with more than just one nice guy. So I do not stop all the chats immediately just to quickly jump into a room with someone I just met a few sentences before. So rely on the fact that a real, self-assured women will ask you to join room when she is ready for it.
As I said I do not want to tell you too many secrets but just for the guys that just need a virtual whore to get off: look rather for the "females" with a "sex maniac" attribute in their profile than for the ladies that say "romantic" or "talkative" in it!
Well guys, any questions left or did I just scared you away?
P.S.: If a guy takes those tips by heart I am pretty sure that he will increase his chances to break the ice with a girl from 2-3 % to 95 % and that is pretty good. YOu never get a 100 % guarantee for anything in life. Therefore, 95 % is pretty good, isn't it?
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I have to agree with a lot of what Condomgirl has said but not it all.
I will just say to you just be yourself Mercer79 you were very nice to me the other night
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Thanks Lydiarose that's pretty much what I'm like most of the time and again thank you all for taking the time to contribute this is a really great community here on the forum.
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Thanks Lydiarose that's pretty much what I'm like most of the time and again thank you all for taking the time to contribute this is a really great community here on the forum.
I could post some messages of mercer from the very beginning were he was a little more pushy ;). The answers given here are overall a pretty good example, adding some creativity is always helpful, standing out of the ordinary is a big plus!
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Was I really that bad? :-[
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Was I really that bad? :-[
Awwe *hug*
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Since reading this I changed my chat profile and once or twice a day
I change my tag line to song lyrics and the guys will guess at the song. see, I'm trying to help them.
But some... some don't get it. And the guys I'm already friends with are competing to guess it first.
It's being kind of fun.
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Will be helpful for many members. Hope they also read this topic :D
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Agreed Lover I think some get a bit disheartened from the lack of response and just quit I know I almost did.