AChat Forum
Support => Got any problems running AChat? => Topic started by: babybuggybumper on September 26, 2010, 07:49:24 AM
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Here's the problem; Guys using girls avatar. I know I can't be the only one that's concerned about this. How many of you guys want to chat and be intimate with another guy using a girls avatar? I dont want and shouldn't have to suspect there's a man behind that fine looking female avatar and start the chat by asking "r u female irl". But I do, because there are so many men that use the female avatars. I don't know why they do it, but they do. Nevertheless, We need to weed out the impostors. Maybe make a list of those that are willing to prove their gender. Something needs to be done about this problem. If not then I'm going to quit coming back for good. Because BigTex don't like to play with guys using female avatars.
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well if you want to make some kind a test to everybody to know who is who... thats going to be defficult... i think there are guys using girls avatar because they want it...thats because are now shemales and more gay positions.
well i know a lot of guys pretending be a girl but its easy to notice...guys dont act like a girl, talk like a girl and dont ask the same stuff to a man or another girl, see i think you have to explore more and have more carefull because what you asking its impossible....
and its the same if you get mad because the girl doesnt look like the avatar on real life..
has to take this game a little easy on it.... or just talk and have sex whit the people who you know what it is
im a girl but dont look like my avatar, dont have short hair, those big boobs, maybee the butt... but the rest...naaa dont look like me
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Did you honestly not know that this is more for technical issues? Or just THAT freaked out over the issue that you chose to abuse the tech support strand?
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This is the right board! If you are a man who wants to have fun with a girl you will have a technical issue if the girl is a guy :D
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If it walks like a duck..........
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Guys posing as women isn't just an AChat problem, the poser thing happens all over the Net. Why do some guys do that? I don't know, I'm not a pysch major. I do know that it creates problems for real women:
1. Somehow I then become obligated to "prove" who I am, while a guy gets a pass. This is outright gender bias, it violates my right to some anonymity (as a person, not necessarily as a gender), and is a blatant insult to me, because they're calling into question MY integrity, either implicitly or explicitly.
2. An extension of the first is the pic, voice or cam request. This isn't totally a poser issue, as some want that kind of interaction that is outside the scope of AChat to enhance the online experience; which is fine for those who do it consensually. Where it becomes intrusive and gender-biased is when there is a demand to do it to somehow prove who I am.
3. The gender doubt thing creates a whole doubt issue that can't be readily resolved without the woman having to bear the burden of proof. Oh really, it's my responsibility for who you're trying to cyber-bang? As Rocio said, there are ways to tell who is probably a poser. There are a lot of guys who don't care about any kind of meaningful chat and getting to know who you are first, they just want some quick cyber action (and usually in a crass, rude way). So if guys like babybuggybumper (BigTex) want to be more sure, maybe they ought to treat a woman like a person and not some object to stick their cyber pixels into. Ask the guys who do make it a practice to chat and know you first, making those connections in chat does nothing but improve the whole rest of the experience.
Anyway, that's my quick take on it. Maybe I'll post this over in the non-techy area too, because it is something that happens; I've seen it happen, so maybe there's some way to discuss it (but without maybe tipping off the posers to what the tell-tale signs are lol).
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The imposters are one of the reasons why I take an effort in getting to know my prospective partner first before entering a room or starting an rp. To me it is very important to have a click with someone before sharing any kind of intimacy. Sometimes the click is there immediatly, sometimes it can take weeks before getting close enough for a close encounter of the sexual kind ;)
I'd rather spend a night on AChat without rooming or playing with anyone, as to have 10 encounters which are empty and meaningless. I have learned that taking the time to get to know someone, treat her with respects and dignity (within an rp this can change however) gives a meeting much more satisfaction and often ensures a prolonged connection.
The subject has been discussed before and it seems there isn't much we can do about it. Once we start compiling a list of (suspected) imposters, they simply make a new female avatar and start all over. It is rather easy to do that. My suggestion: invest some time in your partner, the best insurance for a satisfactory meeting...
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Yes on all counts, tight. It's about spending time, at least some, getting to know each other. But as for lists of posers, that's kind of risky, because while it makes sense in theory, it doesn't account for things like human jealousy and spite. Some girl jilt you? Brush you off or worse, the whole experience just didn't click? Easy, just post it in the forum, that'll teach her! So having a list would be a two-edged sword, and ultimately be unfair to the real women here who have (at least some lol) semblance of standards on who they're being intimate with online.
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Hmmm, well, idk why a guy would do it, my bet is they're gay or bi and have found the MM section far to boring and so fake being a woman because there's 5 times more posers and users. At the moment MM isn't that enjoyable so I can see why some guys pretend to be women.
However, its is entirely unacceptable to deceive someone purely for your own satisfaction, rather than using that time to try and get more MM poses. As a gay user it's maddening to think that other guys are ruining the experience for everyone like that.
I would argue that the problem would be less if there was more MM poses, It wouldn't go away completely though, some men don't view themselves as male irl.
If you want to stop it, might I suggest you have a conversation, which means cutting out the text speak. Just because its the internet doesn't mean that its a free pass to treat a woman like a sex object, you'll always get the bottom of the barrel if you dont treat a lady with respect so her the courtesy of your time beforehand.
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Well .. old topic.. and old.. call it just an issue not a "problem" but - regarding the question why a male would claim to be a female - it is answered so simple. I know of those guys doing that very well .. we talked for hours. I dont tell his name but he has 1 female with let me call it "standard" intentions and one mistress with when I last talked to him 6 subs/slaves. So all in all 8 accounts.
The reason is so simple.. Girls can be gifted. .so he does not pay anything for running these accounts.. and basically he seems to be successful doing this - all "Chars" ane full or even very good equipped premium accounts.
Only once in about 10 months I know about that i noticed someone who had "Dont trust [Name] she claims to be female but lies to you and is a guy"
Well just replied because I thought the question which benefit it gives the guy claiming to be a girl was left open a bit.
By the way.. It is just nonsense that men can not be gifted.. I am hetero.. but got many homo friends in real life.. and they also gift each other same as hetero couples love to do it.. Its just nonsense that you cant gift men and leads to .. well i described it above.. that should be changed ASAP.
Thanks for your attention.
Dee
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This is the right board! If you are a man who wants to have fun with a girl you will have a technical issue if the girl is a guy :D
Lover as we have so many Shemales, many of them regular contributors on this forum, isn't this in really bad taste? Particularly in reply to such drivel?
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All I can say is I am 100% female thru and thru, and I am damn tired of answering the question, Are you a Girl in RL?" For me you ask that question, and it is a sure way to get ignored.
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NewGurl - never would ask such a question .. if the partner is male or female in real life.. but sometimes.. it seems that the partner does not what he or she claims to be in the profile.
Well others make no secret of being a male playing a female char.. they just have more fun doing it. This is basically ok - they are honest - but i do not join them.
And - worst case I had was a girl in an MMF telling us about "You horny studs I fooled you .I am not a girl I am a 36 year old fat guy and be sure to watch a footage of our meeting soon on Youtube and Channel 5" .. well - so nice.. did not even start achat for the next 2 weeks after that...
Thanks for reading and letting me share!
Dee
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Mmmmh, wonder why that guy is coming out whit a phrase like that......probably just to ruin other peoples fun!
Wonder if he had think about he was raped by two guys! who was the one fooled around!? eh eh eh!
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Uhmmmm you just need to chat one or two time to discover a guy below a female avatar. The problem is if you are hot as hell and just wanna fuck someone and havent time to talk...... Is your own risk
My suggestion; take your time and chat...maybe you'll be surprised and will know more than holes to place your dick... we are more than 3 holes
;)
Su
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Yes, time for a chat is nice and wellcome too, specially whit my usuall partner here. it's interessing sharing toughs and hobby, plus it can help so much to improve your feeilng!
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Su - well i am not talking about those "Hi" - and enter the room meetings or cold invites you have with some people.
I never join any other without intensive talking. I always have to find out a bit about her / his likes and dislikes and sexual intentions, etc. So - even if i am hot or horny - joining smeone without intensive talking is a no go for me.
And - of course any User I talk to is a real person for me - having his own desires, fantasies and wishes - which have to be respected. Same counts for me when alking to free users - if they like to talk. If they don't like.. well .. no way continuing with me.
I always treat other users the way I want to be treated by others.. -as a person not a "thing"!
Those I was talking about are playing a perfect role. Seems to be a bit like their "perversion" (dont take that word as negative as it sounds). But you know that person for weeks until you find out that she is not female in reality.
Well often its easy to find out.. By referencing some profile data Provided.. just look for the expressions "Proprty of" .. "Sub of".. "I obey my master..." .. and search for the given name.. Often ( not alwasy its the male char mentioned playing that female).
well .. thanks for letting me share and reading!
Dee
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Well, hello all kind peoples of the DreamWorld's Forum.
I have two avatars myself. One who represent me. She is "Shemale" as I am Transgender, and throught this Avatar of me I feel about experiences and feelings I used to had into my RealWorld experiences I have no more.
But I have another Avatar ( called "Slavedmind" so if you interact with her, be aware .) And she represent what I may describe as my ... " Girls side"
I choose SlaveMind young , even maybe young for that's how I mostly regret not to be.
So ... I am a fraud when using this Avatar. I know ... sorry...
I may said that I explain, both on profile and during chats ( that's usually the first thing I talk about in chatting ) that this is not a ... " Real woman" behind the screen.
Even if explaination of what the situation really is, lead often with being left alone :P
Still, my purpose by using the Slavedmind's Avatar was not to fraud anyone, Trust me I really explain what it is really is ...
At first, I was just trying thoses poses I don't have with my Shemale personality.
It was like a test and a way to get a little more excitement and different lusts.
But soon , I felt that "performing" a girl identity, with a really different way of interracting ( because I force myself to role-play with a new way also. I try to feel the teenage of Slavemind, that is very different for the way I interacte with my Main personality ( very close to what I was ) ) was very enjoyable for me .
I mean I really enjoy my "main" personality, for she fill me with pleasure.And Interacting with her is a very intimate and greatfull experience for me.
But Slavedmind avatar is also very enjoyable too.
So please forgive me if someone who hade interaction with Slavemind was fooled and thought that she was a ... "real women" behind ... Sorry , really. That was not my intention at all .
Also ... well ... in my life ( I mean, my RealWorld Life ) I feel woman. So I don't know... but I may agree it might be disapointable for some people to discover that Behind of Slavedmind is not fully a Girl but a transgender ...
I also , as Misters and Misses SquirrelDee, Hentaïboy69, Susanna4love and I think, many others that chatting " seriously" ( another way than " hey hun , I wan FUCK u!" ) will very quickly show who is really behind the screen.
( and believe me in french, as words changes if they are Feminine or Masculine, it is even quickier )
Well ... My now express what I feel about peoples who are not the same gender as displayed by their Avatar .
I don't mind.
Really ... I mean. I am not involved into the DreamWorld for getting relationship into Realworld . I far prefer stay into DreamWorld.
And as the people really involve into her/his "role" ... well the gender she or he really is have no importance for me .
That is maybe due to my own personality that is part woman, but also part boyish for I was educated as a boy, And for some aspect... I still think like a boy, even if I feel I am a Girl . ( Just a look at a mirror is enough to remind me I am not ... fully a woman ... , and everytime, dressing, sport ... I face that I am not a girl, but something between the two genders )
I think that even "Real Men" may also have a girly side ( and that some Women have a Boy side too ) . If they please to express that other side of them. Even if gramatical mistake lead me to know that they are not "real woman" or not " real shemale" ... I don't mind, I stay the way if they were. For I think this is their pleasure to "play" another gender, and I please giving pleasure to those I interacte with. As I please they give me some too .
This is also just my point of view. I think not this is the " right way" or something like that.
I understand very well that may be for people very sad to discover such " imposture" and that may kill their pleasure .
( In fact, for me, talking about the "real" gender we are, is the fact that killes my pleasure to be here . But only for me.)
So please don't be upsetted by what I explain about me.
May you accept my best humbly regards.
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Evelyne, thanks for your toughs and don't worry, we know you don't want to take advantage of Slavedmind.
You are perfectly right, some peoples end to be pissed off when they discover a girl avatar they care hide a man under the surface, but not all of them, i know it really good, and i was lucky whit my sweet spouse, when i decide to go on an high levell on our relationship here (we start like simple friends at the begin) and tell her about my true self.
other men and girls know it and probably it doesn't care them, cause at last the important thing are the feelings you show to them!
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Thank you for your thoughts Evelyne - i really appreciate telling us the way you think and feel.
And.. I understand what you try to explain .. about the female feelings you often have.
I also think that your comment "I think that even "Real Men" may also have a girly side" is absolutely true.
I also have one.. would be horrible if i had not.
Well .. maybe i should learn to be more tolerant .. but .. well had so harsh expreiences...
Anyways.. thank you for your opioons and telling about your feelings about this topic.
Dee
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Well , may I said that I think we are all, women, men and transgenders, far more complex than just an "hole to been fucked" or "cock to cum over you".
I may also had ... stranges experiences ... for the short time I am here. And I may understand very well your feelings after harsh experiences Miss SquirrelDee.
Even so, and this is only refering to me,because I have no ideas of how harsh you were confronted with. So please consider not my tellings as a judgement of any sort. It is just the way I try to be myself, and we all have differents wishes, desires, and reasons to enjoy our Dreamworld.
May I say so that I tend to try, after a disturbing experience, another one.
For exemple, I am contacted very often by "Female" avatars who only concerns is to fuck me harder as they can.
I am maybe wrong, for I am not such clever to analyse such harsh behaviours. But I really think those Persons were Men under females covers.
After those ... sceances ... I sometime feel like ... dirty and almost raped ( I don't like using this word because of the dramatical reality Rapes are , and I think using this word is puting less power for a terrible crime, but still ... It is a bit like I felt sometime.)
And I so even try to get another experiences, for ... kind of cleaning myself.
I am also well aware that, by absolutly stay into DreamWorld , I protect myself from feelings I may put into a relationship.
So I am less, maybe, sensible to betrayal for it is hard to betray feelings I don't put in other hands.
I feel it was necessary for me to act this way, and that's the way, also, I enjoy the DreamWorld : completly segregated from RealWold.
So Miss SquirrelDee, I deeply respect your feelings, only regreting they were bad for you; and I may add that I fully understand that betrayal is really painfull . As I said sometime " Love hurts " but for sure it is the treason of love ( and more globally: feelings like respect, or trust ) that hurts.
I really, so , wish you to have glad and happy experiences.
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Thank you so much Evelyne for understanding. I reallly appreciate it. I also wish you only the best.. lovely experiences in AChat - and definitely no bad feelings.. Achat is made for having fun and exploring a DreamWorld far away from reality - so lets enjoy it:-). And.. by the was Evelyn.. I am male - so no "Miss SquirrelDee" :'( - *smile* - just call me "Dee" Evelyn - like everyone does - and no worries about that little mistake :D
Bless you,
Dee
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Dee, when you had jump in the forum, i had the same problem of Evelyne......thinking you was a girl! only after two or three day i had found i was wrong! eh eh! ;D
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My! My! My !!!! Mister SquirrelDee, I am terribly sorry for I mistook your gender! Please accept my apologies !!!
Ohh Lord I feel ashamed I must have think a bit about your I also think that your comment "I think that even "Real Men" may also have a girly side" is absolutely true.
I also have one.. would be horrible if i had not.
Sorry Sorry Sorry !!!!
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Thank you for your thoughts Evelyne, everyone can use the avatar gender where they feel more comfortable or show better his/her identity but people have to know. I talked about guys using female avatars to take advantage in sex or idk why.
Dee, Im completely agree with you, free users are people to and have to be respected. I tried to say that behind a female free user saying "hi, I'm horny, i want sex with you" there is a guy often.
Forvige my poor English Im trying to improve it day by day ::)
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Dee, Im completely agree with you, free users are people to and have to be respected. I tried to say that behind a female free user saying "hi, I'm horny, i want sex with you" there is a guy often.
Hello Susana4love and all kinds peoples
I agree for sure that "free users" are people too, But i may also think that is two categories of "free users"
Those who for any reason can't or don't want to pay for the DreamWorld's full potential, but still are honest ... those one I respect a lot, And show no differences between them and "Premium Users".
And Those who only create free accounts for beeing rude and harsh, knowing they just have to create another for start again their rude way.
I may feel thats "predator" who try too fool peoples are from this category.
Well, usually they are not very smart with the way they act. I talk for exemple about today's one I met. In five minutes he created six differents account not stopping flooding me with such " Hey I luv you","hun be friend" ... at second time I may reconise his ... style and then I Blacklist him, and he create another ...
So only talking could make the difference.
But some are smaters, and they, at first are gentles and kind, just to become the worst monsters when they think you are engaged and have feelings for them, even using those feelings to disturbing you ( and me for instance )
I may say too that some "Premium users" act this way also ... matter of money after all ... a monster with money may create "premium accoount" for his hunting.
But globaly "Premium Users" are willing to put ... some life, something of themself, and keep their Avatar, so they involves ( I think ) more into an honest relationship.
My short experience show me that they are mainly men under women or shemen identity.
For so .... I really agree you It could be very disturbing for those who seek True relationship ( I mean those relationship that may comes from the DreamWorld to the RealWorld ) And I understand too that it may kill the pleasure , as any betrayal does.
I am keeping too my point of view about them.
I think if they act like that, like predator who hunt a pray I may be ... well that is because they have a problem of some.
But I hope ( I am an optimistic person ) that they could change after all .
Reading me I think I am a bit off topic because of your feelings about those peoples who betray your trust.
Sorry If I am side of what you feel.
Anyway I wish you to find people who worst your trust.
Please accept my best humbly regards
And ... May I said that I find your english far better than mine ....
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After having read confession of chien_lubrik and also open letter to Achat from Pafe http://www.funnyadultgamesplay.com/forum/index.php/topic,1401.0.html i deceded to ad my own public confession to forum too. First of all because it is little different and i hope still not very uncommon.
As never been taken part in any chatrooms or what so ever like that, after discovering Achat, curiosity take me over and i found myself in the game (or really a Dreamworld) with no idea how it is functioning or how real it in the end turns out to be. And i am pretty sure this is the way most of user act, they see just GAME and 99% never read any futher...
As i had a dream since my early age, to feel what it would be a female, on the registration without long thinking i decided to create a female avatar. As it reads in every add of Achat - Virtual SEX & 3D FUCK - (ok in small letters with Real partners). So my thought then was (or to be honest, no thoughts at all, just excitment), what a heck, this is my chance to be at least virtually female....
At first it was really just pure lust and fun and a lot of fucking. It turns out be be really exciting and also timeconsuming and and also like "drud addiction" - i spent long hours in virtual Dreamworld (good hours nevertheless). But then as time goes by and some REAL friends and lovers came into account i started to realize that it is not "just a game" anymore. It is really REAL people behind avatars ( good or bad or what motivates them is a other discussion). And i quote chien_lubrik here - "I felt that "performing" a girl identity, with a really different way of interracting" because same happened to me - i feel and act like female in my MIND. and here i must quote Pafe "I thought it sounded silly, making cartoons perform sex acts. I was wrong, it is much more than that. It is an intimate joining of the largest sex organ in the body, THE MIND." And it makes huge difference (at least for me) to play a game with full power of mind and i can assure everybody i was as female as i could be. And futher more - i never ever touch myself during game, all the excitement and everything else what goes with really good sex took place in my MIND.
So i am guilty in a fraud, cheating my partners not telling them what my real gender is, imposter in full....
And i am really sorry, there is no excuse for me hurting some REAL people. That was not my intention at all... And today i really miss them in my life.
For today this avatar is but in "deep freeze" until i found somebody who can take over her (a real female) or she will remain "dead".
This post is ment to be as explanation of one kind of imposters (i would like to say "good imposters") here on Achat, not my way of getting rid of guilt. I am guilty in fraud and learned my lesson from that (with lot of heartache for myself, it become too real for me at some point...) and the with loss of friends i might hurt badly too...
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Hello to all kinds peoples of the DreamWorld's forum
And specialy to Waim for I may give my feeling about his ... confession ...
For me ( and only for me and peoples that share my point of view ) you were not a "fraud"
Your feelings and thought were real! And Lord: Your are a person too!!!
I mean Yes you did a mistake by not annonce your "true I" and I understand also that some people may feel betrayed when discovered the point.
But you were honest about the feelings you felt ... only did you misunderstood the deep, intimate and strong links that may occured between the peoples behind the avatar!
May not a mistake be repair ?
I mean ... your avatar is here! The only thing you can't change without creating a new one ( that may be expensive ) is the Gender !!!
Make a new announcement that reveal the " true self" you are!! ( a man who feel like a woman )
May you contact those friends of yours and explain them ! ( not all are in the forum ) if you don't even did it.
I am sure that some will understand how you feel and meet you again !
If you stay here ( May I call you friend ) you will bear that open wound with you!!!
You will recall the pain you felt !!
And you may become one of the niciest people of the DreamWorld !!!
We all bears our open wounds ! Some cames from the RealWorld! Some cames from the DreamWorld !!
I may say that this is a new way to walk the golden ways of the DreamWorld.
It is an hard way, because many will ignore you, many will be upsetted by you.
Some may even insult you !! ( trust me it occur )
This mean very more less ... sex !!
This mean hours of explainations !
But some will give you hundred more ... thousand more
Never all the superficial so called feelings will match even a true feeling !!!
True feelings comes with honesty I think .
Your open wound will recall you to be honest I guess Waim!
And this time, the new Friends you may make, and the olds ones forgave you will be True ones !
And as I , I think you will feel an smashing experience !
I hope you will
I hope you will not stay "dead"
This will not misrespecting the peoples to come back if you apply the honesty you show us!
Please accept my Humbly Regards
And accept my hope to cross by chance the Avatar you will become .
PS: I may have been a bit ... rude ... but you touch my heart and mind ... for many reasons.
Please accept my apologies for my rudeness ...
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Guys posing as women isn't just an AChat problem, the poser thing happens all over the Net. Why do some guys do that? I don't know, I'm not a pysch major. I do know that it creates problems for real women:
1. Somehow I then become obligated to "prove" who I am, while a guy gets a pass. This is outright gender bias, it violates my right to some anonymity (as a person, not necessarily as a gender), and is a blatant insult to me, because they're calling into question MY integrity, either implicitly or explicitly.
2. An extension of the first is the pic, voice or cam request. This isn't totally a poser issue, as some want that kind of interaction that is outside the scope of AChat to enhance the online experience; which is fine for those who do it consensually. Where it becomes intrusive and gender-biased is when there is a demand to do it to somehow prove who I am.
3. The gender doubt thing creates a whole doubt issue that can't be readily resolved without the woman having to bear the burden of proof. Oh really, it's my responsibility for who you're trying to cyber-bang? As Rocio said, there are ways to tell who is probably a poser. There are a lot of guys who don't care about any kind of meaningful chat and getting to know who you are first, they just want some quick cyber action (and usually in a crass, rude way). So if guys like babybuggybumper (BigTex) want to be more sure, maybe they ought to treat a woman like a person and not some object to stick their cyber pixels into. Ask the guys who do make it a practice to chat and know you first, making those connections in chat does nothing but improve the whole rest of the experience.
Anyway, that's my quick take on it. Maybe I'll post this over in the non-techy area too, because it is something that happens; I've seen it happen, so maybe there's some way to discuss it (but without maybe tipping off the posers to what the tell-tale signs are lol).
Preach! I don't like the fact that these people want women to prove themselves as real women. That is much to intrusive for a virtual sex game. If you do not believe that a person is the gender of their avatar, then that's a risk you will have to take. Try to get to know the person. It's completely ridiculous to make a list of people who refuse to prove their gender.
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hi i have not encountered ,that problem yet, i do not ask ,as i would be able to tell ,i have a few male friends in female bodies and i do not mind , i have fun that is what it all about .
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I'm with you kerryane. I don't care who they are, so long as they treat me nicely (or the way that I want to be treated).
In, Everquest, for example, you don't ask the other person if they are a real dwarf, troll ogre, etc.
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The imposters are one of the reasons why I take an effort in getting to know my prospective partner first before entering a room or starting an rp. To me it is very important to have a click with someone before sharing any kind of intimacy. Sometimes the click is there immediatly, sometimes it can take weeks before getting close enough for a close encounter of the sexual kind ;)
I'd rather spend a night on AChat without rooming or playing with anyone, as to have 10 encounters which are empty and meaningless. I have learned that taking the time to get to know someone, treat her with respects and dignity (within an rp this can change however) gives a meeting much more satisfaction and often ensures a prolonged connection.
The subject has been discussed before and it seems there isn't much we can do about it. Once we start compiling a list of (suspected) imposters, they simply make a new female avatar and start all over. It is rather easy to do that. My suggestion: invest some time in your partner, the best insurance for a satisfactory meeting...
I like how Tight explained it here.Out of respected for the other partner if they wish to know who is behind the Avatar
they should be truthful and let them know ..I myself would of liked to know who I am talking to.To me voice is the only way I would
know this but that is a personal choice and as to how close I would let any one get close to me .....only one I let close to me is my spouse here
...... :)