AChat Forum
Discussions about AChat => Share your creative ideas => Topic started by: christinak on February 01, 2011, 09:48:05 AM
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One thing I like about this game is, I can do things for my lover that I either can't or won't do in real life. Anal sex is something I really don't like. I get nothing out of it except for the satisfaction of pleasing my lover and alot of pain on my part. Now all the anal sex in this game displays the very reason why I don't like it, IT GOES TOO FREAKIN FAST! I mean I don't know about everyone else, but just having something rammed into my rectum HURTS. :o It hurts bad just to watch it in Achat, and I cringe when I see it. So I suggest a pose just for anal foreplay. One where a penis or dildo can be SLOWLY inserted into the rectum, rather than just being jammed in there. I don't think the people who made this game have ever been penetrated analy or they might have given this some more thought. ::)
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That is a an interesting thought.Christy there are some who practice of this is common enough they can relax easily, actually find a great deal of enjoyment in the act to a point where the movements are more ...er....active. I think your perception here is prejudiced by, as you admit a lack of experience (enjoyable experience). That said I would agree a gentler pose or slowing of the avatars would be considered by the staff certainly would be appropriate. Doubt we see it though.
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THANK YOU :P I'm gay and I've still got girls wanting to cram fingers and toys in there and in some cases that ended up ignored NOT taking no for an answer. I will also agree that anal should have a slower setting because people can't walk around that relaxed without soiling themselves. So even for the anal vets giving them some sort of warm up, a anal foreplay would be a definitely need addition.
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A gentle approach to anal sex would be good as its not easy to be ready for it right of the bat. Irl lube and a chance to relax is needed, then the fun can start. Some guys are nice and describe how they prepare me, like a rimjob, fingering or maybe just slowly inserting it so I can relax myself. But I agree a pose for anal foreplay would be nice. In the spanking pose I can get fingered in my ass so it can be used as a kind of foreplay to it... I don't know how it works for females in that pose as I can only receive in the FS pose.
Now I'm quite used to relax myself so it doesn't take me long to prepare myself for some faster, harder and more pleasurable action, but I understand very well what you mean. thing is, practice is needed so one learns to relax oneself and well expecting pain doesn't make it any easier.
I guess its fine pleasing your partner here at AChat with anal sex but if you really don't like it I don't really see any reason for doing it. Its different for me since I like it a lot and get pleasure from it.
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The thing is Adera, there has been more than one time now when I'm roomed with someone, and they don't even ask. Sometimes they dont even tell me they are doing it, so all of a sudden I change the camera angle and WHOOPS I've been sodomized.
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What... really!? That's really mean. ???
I always ask if I'd like to do that with a girl, but I'm more interested in doing it since she might like it.
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Knowing from my own experience (decided to write it down since there are not a lot of taboos on hereexperimented with toys), a slow foreplay pose for anal fun would be a very good idea. I wonder if even the most experienced person can take it, as it is portrayed in AChat. Good idea Christy..
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Once your ready its not a problem with it being fast and hard, at least not for me... rather that's how I like it.
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OUCH ! OUCH ! Ouch ! and yes the guy should ask ! and the camera does`t lie ! Same for me , had a Real date go bad , maybe if he took his time ! Being pinned down , by a big guy Ramming his big cock into small ass, against my wishes ! That kinda ruined me for any of that :'(
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OMG Sunny, that must have hurt like hell. *hugs*
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It could work for oral/vaginal pose....
Speed control ? so you could accelerate or slow donw when your partner ask for it ;)
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mmm Christy a little more assertiveness on your part is needed. Honestly need to speak up and tell them NO! and act like they know what they are doing.
If their just jamming it in be honest....you are there for your pleasure too.
There again,...it's how I approach the issue,...I do not assume all women want and enjoy it...
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zomg they didnt ask and now my cyber ass has been destroyed
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Well sure Unhealer... its not your real ass. But if you don't find the action one bit exciting and it hurts while doing it irl I don't think you'll find it very exciting in AChat either.
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I don't even like to watch it really. I'll do it if I feel good about my partner, because I know they like it. And pleasing others pleases me. But I don't want anyone doing it to me without asking or after I said no. Even if its virtual.
And @Sunny, I feel for you. Being held down and forced to do things against your will really can turn you off to just about anything. And anal sex would have to be the most brutal kind of rape I can think of.
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@Unhealer...it's about overcoming a bad experience in real life which taints the enjoyment of the current fantasy.
The mental block pretty much reduces the situation of the woman to a spectator...killing the moment.
No,...means no,...even in a virtual world
(modifying after Janines comment below...since I have purposely attempted to not comment...but really don't know what to say of that act sunny...other than to give an empathetic hug,..and thanks for sharing a reminder which hope that the men here will think about...your partners are real human beings...molded by real life experiences, some...*shakes head*...at a loss of words)
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I've been wanting to say something Sunny, but I know there's not much I really CAN say.
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@ Islandsun: I am sorry you had to go through this experience. Some bastards do not deserve to be with a woman (or anyone for that matter) at all... Just hope you know there is a lot of sweet guys too...
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I know there`s good out there !!! I just feel they should ask first ! with this uncomfortable pose ! And for what any bad that happens to a person ! you have 2 joices > You can let it take you down , or become a stronger person from it ! Guess which road I picked !
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having a finger shoved into your peehole hurts more
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Unhealer... I don't even want to think about that one and I guess one would need quite a big one for that to even work.
@Sunny: I really like that your so strong after what's happened to you, your so cool. *hugs*
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@ Adera I go wide eyed ! OMG it would have to be BIG ! Can that be done ! @ Unhealer ..............NOTE : to self never bend over my little ass , infront of Uhealer ! LOL
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@Sunny: Yes it can be done, checked it now and I saw a video of a guy putting stuff into his.
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The biggest problem with stretching muscles beyond what they are meant to be stretched is they only have a certain degree of elasticity.
The most common example is a woman who has had a great many children... her vaginal muscles will show it. They will be measurably looser, and that WILL happen with anal as well. Now I wouldn't say what equals good, and what equals bad simply because peoples bodies are different, but as always pain is a sign to stop, and the more it hurts the more likely you shouldn't be doing it in the first place.
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@ Janine Dee prop a dum question but > size of female and size of male matter ? I mean that was my first time doing that ,just to find out I picked a loser ! My down fall Tall big men > Hunks < and I`M small ok any one know that answer ? OMG hope I`M NOTlooking to stupit here !
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Sunny, what I'm trying to say is different people have different tolerances. Now for your experience your muscles wouldn't have had any trouble recovering. I'm speaking more of regular anal play. Yes, those muscles can be trained to release enough to allow penetration, even some alarmingly sized penetration, but when it's regular it's not guaranteed to contract back to normal.
I know one of the more widely built prostheses being built today is a prosthetic sphincter for those who watched too much porn and did damage that their body could not repair.
The "size" issue comes into play simply because I can't give a "This measurement is okay" while "This measurement will damage you."
There is the variable of the person's body, the size of the penetrating object, the force of the penetration as well as the number of times the sphincter is penetrated.
The one constant is that when your body says "STOP" you should.
The sad irony is that while Christina is just willing to put up with it here on AChat there are those in real life who decide to put up with it for someone they care about and damage themselves, or are too into pushing the pleasure/pain envelope until they cross the line into damaging.
But there is no way I can tell someone where the line is. The best indicator I know of is if you are wondering if you are at that line, you probably are.
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The sphincter will get looser from anal sex and play and it has to get looser if you ever want to enjoy it. That doesn't mean it has to go as far as what Janine is describing, those have usually gone way up in size of what they are pushing up their asses. Damage is far more likely to occur if its not consensual, without enough lube and if the receiver has used something to dull the sensitivity.
If your interested in anal sex you should experiment on you own, then you can take you time with small objects and work you way up. Lube is very important when having anal sex as there will be no natural lubrication and the lube on a condom isn't nearly enough. There are some lubes out there which will make you numb, they will of course make things easier but it is a really bad idea to use those.
I really don't understand why some takes a cock first time they're having anal sex when they haven't even tried anything bigger than a potential finger, it is bound to hurt. Anal sex doesn't have to hurt, so why put up with the pain? Its the same thing with virgin females, if the hymen is intact it will break the first time she's having sex with a guy and that might hurt. Worst thing about that is that females walk around thinking it has to hurt the first time and that she has to put up with it. Makes me wonder if the same thinking reflects over to anal sex which will hurt a lot without practice.
The hymen can be stretched little by little and over time you can completely remove it by yourself. I think that is a far better solution than having a cock rip you open the first time. If a girl has that out of the equation first time she's about to have sex she'll have a far easier time getting wet. Same thing with anal sex, if a girl knows she can take a penis without pain she will be far more mentally prepared and might even enjoy it.
If it hurts, it's done the wrong way. There is a right way to do it which requires preparation and practice and there is a wrong way where you take it, it hurts and you might even damage yourself.
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I still don't see myself ever wanting to do this. The last time I agreed to it I was promised he would go really slow, and give me time. But what I got was wildly different. This is not a fun practice to me. I suppose if I had a lover that was willing to take their time and let me ease into it I might get to the point I would be able to tolerate it better. But I still fail to see how I would ever "enjoy" this.
Guys seriously, I have an orifice that's made just for a penis. Let's use that one shall we? ::)
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Christina, what you got seems like the exact opposite to how it should be done. >:(
The ability of enjoying it is very individual, you might not be able to enjoy it. But its not some kind of myth, it can be enjoyed.
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@Adera When I talk about being able to enjoy it, I speak only for myself. I'm sure there are other things people enjoy that I would not be able to, or just would not be willing to even try. This does not take away from it. It only means that I myself don't see how this could ever pe a pleasureable experience for me.
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And Christina sweetie with the large mental block you seem to have you may not ever be able to relax enough to enjoy it.
I'm glad you brought up the numbing agents Adrea. I personally think they are one of the worse things that's ever happened to anal sex, with the worse probably being the excessive use of it in porn nowadays or the insane idea some girls have that as long as they don't have vaginal penetration they are still virgins.
What I am getting at is that the anal cavity was NOT designed for penetration, and those who treat it like just another hole in the body WILL do damage.
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well the chick had long finger nails, so yeah
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@Christina
I just want people to know that its not the same for everyone. I anyone's curious about it they shouldn't be scared away, but they should be informed.
@Janine
I really don't understand why its so damn important to remain a virgin for some that they think anal sex is the solution. Sure there are some cultures in which the bride has to be a virgin when marrying and that she has to bleed the first time which doesn't even happen to some females. Too bad the cultural or social pressure on females has such an impact on how females decide to use their own bodies.
Still, do it the right way and there will be no risks of damage. You'll have other risks like diseases which can be taken to a minimum but anal sex can be done without getting damaged. About people loosing control over their bowels from anal sex when its done the right way, that's just a myth, if anything you'll get better control. Thinking that anal sex is bound to result in damage in some way is wrong, but if your afraid of it then you shouldn't do it of course.
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The problem I'm finding with your wording Adera is that word "right" the muscles of the sphincter aren't designed for penetration. So it CAN be done safely, but the person should always respect their body. The problem is anal by it's very nature is considered extreme, and a sad number of idiots want to take it even further with bigger objects and harder penetration.
I'm not speaking to/about those who engage in sane, safe anal play. I'm talking to the idiots and those who are in danger of imitating those idiots.
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::)
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I didn`t mean to put a dark mood on this topic ! Just thought , better understanding , more education was needed , for those who use this pose here ! But have`nt done in real yet !
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Been quiet, but the reality of anal sex is pretty much going to be individual preference. If you have a partner willing to take his time,...be sensuous ,...respectful of the physical constraints,..you'll find a different experience. First experience...well size matters...u don't start trying this act with as Janine put it once..."stuffing like a clown car"...with some guy and his big cock.
If you are petite sunny,..your preference is for the big guys,...not something you'll probably enjoy. The Physical dispensaries probably will never make it an enjoyable act. One of the advantages smaller endowed guys have, is the lack of "trauma" to the cavity, any curiosity you hold to this should be directed towards smaller endowed partners.
Janine brings the dark reality to this,..but it can be a sensual ,...erotic...it's your partner who is going to make the magic for you in this.
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@Janine:
I thought I had explained the "right" way in earlier posts?
So what if its not designed for it? If it feels good you'll just have to find a safe way to do it. Practice and skill is what I'm using, it works very well for me and I have no problems at all from having had anal sex.
I agree with you that if you take things to the extreme the risks of damage are far higher. If we're only considering the extremes of things nothing is safe, its just sad that anal sex has to be compared to that all the time.
Anyway I'm sorry if I'm getting a bit heated in the discussions but I feel like I'm the only one who likes it and who has had a good experience with it here. Problem is that there are so many myths about anal sex and I really don't like people thinking those are true. There are probably a few that have had problems from regular anal sex from various reasons, they might have a weaker sphincter or something its just that those cases will be heard from a lot more than those who doesn't have any problems.
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I know many who do like it,..in one case, a preference with her closest companions, which she does not give freely to everyone.
It is just in the case of this thread we are dealing with a couple of experiences which have been negative. All I can add is well,..consider the size of play,..the sensuality,...communicate these issues to your partner and perhaps they can lead you through an experience which is quite different than discomfort and pain.
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I agree with Adera, it can be pleasurable and it can be without pain. I have experimented on my own and found it likeable, pleasurable, adding to the most intense orgasms i have had on my own. But take it slow, and practice before allowing someone else to do it and definitly not without concent!
@ ChristinaK next time, ask a guy to jam a dildo, this size of his cock, up his anus and let him tell you how it feels. I am sure that would heighten the understanding for your displeasure...
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they only have novelty dildos big enough for me :D
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@ Adera I didn`t mean for this to turn in a nagavtive topic ! Remeber my friend I told you he was gay ? Well him and his partner , they are the world to me ! The true feelings they show towards each other ! They feel comfortable to hug and kiss in front of me ! Gay , S traight does`nt matter ! In my mind , when your w some one you really like ! ok here goes ! Making love is fine art > it`s in the wanting to give PURE PLEASURE ! .......................................................... :D hugs to you !
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I also didn't want to take this topic to a bad place. For me it factors into the Domme part of my personality. I have literally given safety presentations. So I think in this case we were both coming at it from those perspectives, both valid, just diametrically opposed.
So while you were worried about people getting turned away I was worried about people getting too enthusiastic.
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There is some foreplay as you can lick and finger the ass in several poses. But more foreplay is something I always support!
Of course you can surprise someone with this action. But IMHO only if you know he/him and you have been together before. Usually a slow preparing is a" must have" and also needed for a great mood.
So it would be great to be able to change speed and "stop action inside".
Anal sex can be a great pleasure if both are enjoying it. That means you must ask before you're doing it. If you don't do it it's a kind of rape. Achat for me is having fun together.
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If it were with the right person and they took their time. I might change my thinking someday. Right now I just get very nervous when confronted with the possibility of being penetrated there. I'm not trying to be resistant to new things.
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I think the one thing that everyone will agree on is that it's the kind of thing you don't spring on someone.
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YOU>Can say that ! Maybe some day ! w right one !
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The last time I was touched there, I got so scared of how bad it would hurt, I swear I dried up in less than a second. It really is very difficult to even think about. I'll probably have to be drunk to try it again.
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I would rather say you would need a really slow and considerate lover for it... numbing your senses isn't the best idea in this case. A hot and horny guy isn't a good choice for it, if its a guy though you might want him to come once or twice before it. ::)
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I suppose with the right person, alot of discussion, and ALOT of lube, I may be able to relax enough to do it. But it would take a long time for me to relax, and I have never met a man who had enough patience for that kind of play. Seriously, it would have to be someone VERY special and caring before I would be comfortable doing it sober.
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Hmm might be better to find a woman who would like to do it slowly, exploring and playing with toys.
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Well we all know my thoughts on the man versus woman issue. ;D
Adera however is very right on the drinking matter. Alcohol is VERY bad in volatile situations. Mentally it can make your reactions worse (even if you aren't an angry drunk normally you could get angry easier) and physically alcohol would numb your ability to feel pain, and numbing ones pain receptors was one thing Adera and I agreed was a bad idea.
If you are not sure it's the right time yet, then it isn't. It's not a requirement to a healthy sex life, and if it's a requirement for a partner then you need to question if you want them as a partner.
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If you are not sure it's the right time yet, then it isn't. It's not a requirement to a healthy sex life, and if it's a requirement for a partner then you need to question if you want them as a partner.
there is the winning comment
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@ Christinak Don`t try drunk < because most likely your partner will be drinking as well ! I think this pose has mostly to do with trusting your partner !
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It's ok to have a glass of wine or champagne but not to be drunken. For the first time you need a very special mood, good preparation and a trustful and careful partner. A little toy first is a good idea. And you always have the chance to stop it, even before you start. A nice partner will accept this.
Anal can be fun - but you also can have lots of fun without it.
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Key-ingredients:
- the right mood,
- the right partner,
- the right preparation,
- the right 'STOP" -word, agreed to before starting, unbreakable agreement..
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@Tight You hit that one right on the nail ! Stop word ,like light bondage
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All very good advise. I make it a point to try not to say "never" to anything. So someday, who knows. I'll keep all the suggestions in mind if I ever decide to try this again.
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@ Christinak Yes been good to talk about it , has been for me ! Info was great !, got me thinking any way ! But to give up Tall big hunks to peewee herman size ! lol I`m thinking some other magic tricks !
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In any situation..
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yo I`m willing to try ! but sickness for big guys !