REPORT FROM THE NSPD
TRAFFIC B.U.N.N.Y. DIVISION
Hiya's...
Satoire and I field tested the newest weapon in the NSPD arsenal. The ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun, that was developed by our own "C" who we have hired as a sweeper in the NSPD
Traffic B.U.N.N.Y. Division. I have to say that it works great!! We had a heck of a time testing it on each other and we did not notice any side effects caused by the Ray Gun. Other than a terrific feeling of total relaxation when we finished.
Here is a copy of the owner's manual.
Thanks for letting me share,
Pafe
THE ACME PULSAR-CLASS ORGASMATRON RAY GUN: The ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun is a stimulation/intensification weapon. Orgasms are brought about by manipulating tissue on the subatomic level. This is achieved by firing creatinine saturated beams at the target. A cold-fusion reactor powers a two-stage tandem micro-particle accelerator, the Sementron. The Sementron produces creatinine (1.7 1027kg) particles from the operator's own body with no electric charge. This may cause a slight tingling sensation to the user's genitals. The output stream of Sementron is guided to the Rutherford Chamber by means of focusing magnetic fields. In the Rutherford Chamber (a tube consisting of an array of magnetic lenses (AML) and a cooling system) the stream of creatinine is focused, synchronized, and magnetically contained by the AML system.
Fired from the Rutherford Chamber, the creatinine beam leaves the nozzle where the magnetic containment field is discharged, freeing and accelerating the creatinine to 2000 m/s. The Orgamsatron Ray thrusts through the target by stimulating it at the atomic level. Its effect on the target is somewhat unique to gender.
FEMALE: When struck by the beam, the target's genetial area immediately become saturated with the odourless secretion of the Bartholin gland that lubricate the vaginal tract. This build up of fluid causes the "G-spot" to become stimulated, which causes it to swell and begin a fluid discharge through the urethra, which results in ejaculation. Clinical studies have shown that the female response to G-spot stimulation is extremely similar to the male response to prostate stimulation. The first couple of seconds of stimulation introduces a strong urge to urinate, but is quickly replaced with noticable sexual pleasure. This stimulation provided by the creatinine beam from the Orgasmatron Ray Gun capitalizes on that effect causing immediate and intense orgasms.
MALE: When struck by the beam, a man will achieve a sufficient level of stimulation, and immediate ejaculation begins. At that point, under the control of the sympathetic nervous system, semen containing sperm is produced (emission). The semen is ejected through the urethra with rhythmic contractions. These rhythmic contractions are part of the male orgasm. They are generated by the bulbospongiosus muscle under the control of a spinal reflex at the level of the spinal nerves S2-4 via the pudendal nerve. The typical male orgasm lasts several seconds. After a very small (usually just a couple of seconds) refractory period if the ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun is fired again, the male will again achieve the sufficient level of stimulation and another ejaculation begins.
OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS: Parts list for the ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun.
1. Rolling Barrel On/Off Toggle Switch
2. Settings dial
3. Trigger
4. Rutherford Chamber
5. Indicator Light
6. Nozzle
7. Dispursement Tip
8. Sight
9. Grip
10. Power Source Chamber
TO OPERATE THE ACME PULSAR-CLASS ORGASMATRON RAY GUN: Power up the ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun by moving the Rolling Barrel On/Off Toggle Switch (1.) forward toward the front of the Dispursement Tip (7.) until it clicks into place. Dial the intensity by rotating the outside of the Settings Dial (2.) only in a clockwise direction. [Note: Do not force the dial in a counter-clockwise direction. This will damage the settings mechanism and cause a settings malfunction.] Settings are: Mild (recommended for most); Intense (when a Mild orgasm will just not do); Melt Down (complete and total body writhering orgasm). The ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun has a maximum range of 150 yards.
Allow 10 seconds for the ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun's Rutherford Chamber to warm up. A slight pulsing will occur within the chamber as the creatinine beam increases. [Note: This may cause a slight tingling sensation in the operator's genital region.] The Indicator Light (5.) will glow an orange color when ready. [Note: Each discharge of the Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun causes an 8 second delay to occur between each firing.]
Aim the ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun at the target by aligning the notch on the top of the Rolling Barrel On/Off Toggle Switch (1.) with the Sight (8.) at the end the Nozzle (6.) near the Dispursement Tip (7.) Squeeze the Trigger (3.) by pulling it back with one finger toward the Grip (9.) and discharge the Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun at the target.
To shut down the ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun. Make sure the Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun has been discharged and that the Rutherford Chamber (4.) is empty. Move the Rolling Barrel On/Off Toggle Switch (1.) back towards the Settings Dial (2.) until it clicks into place. Squeeze the Trigger (3.) to completely empty the Rutherford Chamber (4.) of any remaining gasses. Wipe the Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun with a clean, dry, lint-free cloth to remove any orgasmic residue and store in the Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun Case provided.
Proper maintenance and care of the ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun will result in years of dependable operation.
[Note: The power source of the ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun is contained in the Grip of the weapon and should be serviced only by an ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun Certified Technician. Any attempt to open the Power Source Chamber (10.) by anyone other than an ACME Pulsar-Class Orgasmatron Ray Gun Certified Technician will void all warrenties.]
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