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Thanks Janine, I'm not sure if my "shyness" needed overcoming, but if it did, the lust definitely overrode it and in LA it's fairly easy to be anonymous.
Thanks too for the warnings about whips etc. Don't think I'll ever go that far but the (soft) flogger seems quite attractive mmmm..

I am curious though about canes. bf has used my riding crop on me both as a slapper and across both cheeks like I think a cane would, does anyone have any experience or advice? I probably sound masochistic (or very subby, I blame NG!) but I actually the thought of weals being left does it for me, but I've held back so far.

Don't Blame Me!!!   I just helped you discover what you were already.  (And I learned alot about myself at the same time)

I just finished reading all your posts and I have to say I learned a lot so thanks everyone for sharing youe knowledge and experiece 

Even more then seeing all the new activity I feel very good that people have been learning here.

Collars and Collaring.

I already touched on the topic a bit earlier when talking about training and how collars are often used. With a sub it can be used as a signal that play is starting, but it can also be a signifier that a submissive is pledged to a specific Dominant.

In command parlance "Collared" means just that, being pledged to a specific Dom.

So while there can be and are play collars when talking about them words like "play" should be added, and in text I like to use the capital C to help add the additional meaning, but the one thing I really felt the need to convey is that when talking about collars one should realize they can have a wide degree of meaning, and people should make sure they are on the same page when they finally get brought out.

I'd like to go to a BDSM party someday in a collar with a leash that a mistress can lead me with. I think a collar would be the most fun in a public event like that where people just mingled, I could wear some really crazy clothes and it would be accepted much easier. I could also take on a role which would let me act in a outrageously provocative way while things would still be the mistresses call.

I noticed that too Janine, the only time you can be handcuffed is kneeling. Then the guy can't even fuck you.  The only toys available are dildos and whips, bummer

In that circumstance Adera you would want to make sure you've discussed matters with Mistress VERY thoroughly. It's probably not too shocking to know that embarrassing your top jumps past "Duh" to "WTH were you thinking?"

Edited to add.

Because personal styles can vary widely. The woman who taught me taught her subs  they weren't to make a peep during play, but MANY tops like their subs vocal. So personal baring in public is another area to be sure you thoroughly discuss.

Yes, there's quite a lot that would have to be concluded beforehand and if she's unsure about something I think it's better if she let that go rather than try and see. I wouldn't for instance want her to let everyone come too close to me.

That is a definite concern. While it is considered bad form to get too close to a collared sub different Dominant's have different views of "close", early on I skittered along a line because I talked to a collared sub, and I felt bad because I worried I could have gotten her in trouble with her Dom, but that's why the Dom explains their wishes to their sub.

The more restrictive the Dom's wishes, the closer they need to stick to the sub to help make sure they are followed. Only a jackass would rattle off a list of rules, and then wander off to expect the sub to handle it all alone. Since there is always room for misunderstandings like that one I had.

And as always there will also be the idiots who can't be bothered to think things through or respect others boundaries who still insist on laying claim to the title of Dom.

If someone would like to get close they'd have to go by the mistress first imo. I think it's up to the dom to decide those things after considering the person and the subs preferences.

I wouldn't like to be left alone by a mistress since I was thinking I would be somewhat bound as well.

I'd like it if my mistress could stand up for us even if that means she would has to get really bitchy with someone.

A bump to a worthy topic.... I have had several question me of D/s play over the past few days and have referenced this thread for them.

Sinnnn originally posted a Masters Creed... I had seen that several years ago... and remembered there was a corresponding Submissive Creed with it... Adding it for food for thought:

A Submissives Creed:

I will Not Try To Manipulate my Dominant.
I Will NOT Push.
I Realize That my Actions And Behavior Reflect Upon
His/Her Skills As A Teacher And A Dominant.
I Will Not Intentionally Embarrass my Dominant.
I Wear The Honor Of Being His/Her submissive
I Take Pride In Who And What I Am And Will Never
Portray myself In A Negative Way.

I Will Keep An Open Mind And Try New Things In An
Attempt To Expand my Limits.
I Will Continue To Grow as a submissive
and as a human being.
I Will Not Allow myself To Be Harmed Or Abused.
By Giving my "Gift Of submission" Only To Those
That Can Responsibly Accept It.
I Know That submissive Does Not Equal "Doormat".

I Will Continue To Educate myself Because A submissives
Safety Is Always A Concern.
I Will Be Respectful To my Fellow submissives.
I Will Help Those New To The Lifestyle Start Out
On The Correct Path.
I Will Be Responsive To my Dominant.
I will Communicate With Complete Honesty...
My needs, Desires, Limits and Experience.
"I Will Not Hide what my Mind And Body Are Feeling"
I Will Not Expect my Dominant To Know my Thoughts Or
Feelings Which I Do Not Share.

I Will Gracefully Accept In The Responsibility Of
A Scene Or Relationship Gone Bad.
I Will Not Place Total Blame On my Dominant If It Is
Not Warranted Nor Will I Trash His Character"
In Front Of Others Just Because I Am Angry Or Jealous.
I Realize That Things May Not Work Out As Planned
And Shall Strive To Put It Behind me And Move On.
I Will Be Respectful To My Dominant Even In Disagreements.
I Realize my Dominant Has my Best Interests At Heart
And
Shall Guide me With The Best Of All Of Her/His Knowledge.

Omigosh!

I shall print off & read.

Does this make me a bad sub?

I do try to behave in a way that would make my Mistress proud of me........ Bear I need you to talk to me, maybe on a pm.... I suddenly feel unworthy.

lol.. sorry I forgot my powers here.... I intentionally added my comment by mistake to yours as a modify... rather than relpy...

as to your fears.....by no means... at least my own experience is, you would make her proud...
If you need a refresher course I shall offer my services...

Bear,

Anytime you can spare me the time, you know I would be very grateful.

xx

Thank you for adding this Bear. For things to work well they have to be worked on from both (all?) sides. Of course that's as true with vanilla relationships, but when you add in the elements we put in with BDSM it becomes all the more vital.