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i agree you whit it Cristy! sorry if i don't had understand what you mena from the begin!

mmm lets just stroke this thread a different way...
The  topic was getting far too dark...

Being a dominate/top....(from "A Submissives Journey") means :

"Being in control of oneself, which leads to other similar traits. Knowing what you want, and being single-minded about it. Not being egotistical or self centered, but being able to hear what others need, and want, from you, and using the power, knowledge, and experience that you have to fulfill those needs. Self control also stems from the ability to analyze, and understand yourself, and others."

"To have another hand over control of their life, (or at least parts of it) to you is an awesome feeling. It must be borne with great care, and never abused. So, a Dominant does not abuse the power they are given. They never take that power, they are given it out of love, trust, and respect, and the feeling that they can improve the quality of another's life. "

Adera.... I guess I must have sounded a little more sweet & naive than I actually am, I was asking the question to everyone everywhere.

"If we close our eyes, will it go away?"

Oh, I didn't want to be condescending Blue so sorry about that... but you are quite sweet.

Or maybe, the best love of all ... Is someone who comes to you as an equal , stares you directly in the eyes ... takes your hand .. placing it on their heart and declares  with all that they are, they will love, honour and cherish you...

No control, no power , no obeying ....               

Just my tuppence worth   ..  hehe

Heya Hugs Tight, Bear, Lover and molesting squeeze Adera.

Sorry for going dark but I was curious about whatya might think.  As for tats, it's a permanent and I made clear decision.  If it ends it ends but the tat is symbols of something good that I experienced in my life.  No matter how it ended I'm going to herish that memory.

I will say this I have dealt with someone that basically was insecure in how I felt about them.  I was always accused of having fuck buddies or flirting.  Nothing I did or say made him feel secure.  he acted like I thought with my pussy. 
I explained to him, that I kneel not because you make me but because I desire/wish to kneel before you. 


To me a sub that kneels willingly/lovingly before you is the most beautifulest thing in the world.  The trust they give you is a gift that should be respected and cherished.  You don't accuse them of being a whore, lol, or just disrespect them period. 

They kneel, you love

Brandy dear, in BDSM, when practiced in a healthy fashion (NOT like the topic we had been discussing) they ARE equals, and the submissive CHOOSES to submit, desires it, craves it. 99% of the time I am 100% authoritative, and in control, but you put me in a room with Sinnnn and I want nothing more then to follow her every command.

But when we are having normal conversations I can comfort her when she's stressed, and we can disagree without it being taken as anything other then differing opinions.

There is nothing inherently good or bad in it except for the shame that society forcibly attaches to it, but as long as it practiced in that healthy fashion it is only cosmetically different from any other relationship.

Honestly I have never considered Janine a sub.  Hell BDSM never popped into my mind with us.  I just find that she leds me in somethings and i might lead in something else.  She is my equal in every way.  I love a good debate, I love someone I can talk to bout everything without worrying about them freaking.  She seduced my mind before we even entered the room 

For some reason ppl have this idea that subs are suppose to do everything you want without saying no.  They are not suppose to have a mind of their own.  That is sooo far from the truth. 
Just like some subs think that Doms are suppose to  know their needs before they even voice them.

To me communication and open mindedness builds BDSM relationship. 

Bear, I can't get that picture to load properly and it's driving me mad!!!!!!

Can you send it again? Pleeeeeeeeeeease?

Is anyone else having an issue with it?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27764585@N06/2587173070/
is the link to the picture if unseen...

Brandy you see the submissive as somethiing lessor.... and I echo in objection...they are not. This is still a 50 -50 relationship... skewed in a viewpoint many can't see. Submissives will be very strong willed. Very focused individuals... and often very successful in their normal lives.

Communication is exactly it though... where there is no clear and constant dialogue, RL events impact us in many ways... and it won't succeed.

So my response to you... couldn't it be perfect if your partner on hearing your declaration... looked back into your eyes... clasping his other hand over the one at your heart and declared...

I hear what you say...what you want.... what you need from this.  I will do everything within my power.... use all my experience and knowledge present and furtue... all that I can possibly control to fukfill this for you .

A dom's mindset can accomidate many levels... all I am saying... it doesn't  have to be the extremes in life... what we learn from ourselves in this... is a good more deeper... and honest.... than the mainstream.

Thank you Bear, I can see it now and it's lovely.

I won't join in this "debate" between you and BB, I am already either damned or typecast. I am what I am and what I choose to be is my choice, not made through weak-willed acquiescence.

xx

mmmm  presumptions are strange things ... I dont actually ...  I didnt say that .. 

and interesting you would presume I would be the sub, perhaps, in the return declaration mmmm

I was actually trying to change the tone of the thread too, backing you up if you will,  ... just putting a different side to the love of a Sub and the love of a Dom ... to the love of a vanilla ...

Actually think... having now read your creed , that it wouldnt be a bad thing for a vanilla creed  to be practiced .. mmm   Vanilla Creed ... sounds like a villian       

Blu, you are neither Dammed or Typecast in my eyes ... just too damm good at those damm riddles..... and you sleep too much  lmao

Sorry BB, I wasn't aiming a diatribe at you......

It was more a knee jerk reaction to A.N. Other and Bear will know who.

Sleep, me? bed at 00:00, rise at 06:30, lolz

Kneeling, Rising ... you'll make a Knight yet  lol ...  No worries .. I got broad shoulders...   

well... there are some benefits when one kneels before a man... that's not related to submission.
 
Blue you are not damned... some people voice on matters they know nothing of... doubtful that no matter how well sugar coated... that there is a an under lying desire to "save" you/ rather than understand you/ You and I have chatted... and it's quite unintentional my tag line here.. but it applies... you are ...rewriting yourself.

mmm  and vice versa Dear Dom  lol ...  mmm  one of my favourite hugs is in the foot play pose .. mmm 

Ok, back to topic, my dungeon friends ....  why the word " Vanilla? "    Couldnt it be made more exciting?   BDSM Kink  sounds sooooo more ... well .. hip ... and all I picture for me is a soggy icecream cone....  lol