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Dear Hentai,
*taking a deep bow* It takes a big heart (and big balls
) to take this step and open up in this public place. For that I applaud you. I do have a question. What is it that confuses you the most? In your story you mention two things: your feelings towards a man, and your feelings towards a meeting, and both confuse you? If I may, I'd like to share a story about a girl I met her. When I met her, she was still a virgin. Had never been kissed, let alone touched by a boy or a man. As we started talking, she explained she wanted to explore her sexuality, find out what sexuality actually was. And as time progressed, she discovered herself more and more. Guided by me and a few other friends she met. She started playing with toys, explored her desires and her sexuality developed, evolved.
She met a man here on achat that offered to show her how it is done in real. She accepted his offer and they met. The meeting was a succes. Her lover was careful with her and showed her a lot of the things she had dreamed of. Where she was shy and insecure about sex and sexuality before, now she can't get enough of it. I am not saying she's become a slut, on the contrary. She is very selective and has had one partner only. But her sexual fire has been ignited and once that happens, I feel it never stops burning again…
What I am trying to say with this story is, that through this game you discover yourself and your sexuality. Your desires, your wants, the things that make you excited. And ìt takes time to explore them and find out if they are real, or a consequence of a very arousing moment. I have discovered things about myself that I may have never found out if I hadn’t used this program.
I think it is worth that you explore the feelings you have and the first step you have made already. Talking about it, outing and sharing your feelings can be very helpful. And on a personal note, Lover is very capable of assisting you in your search for your feelings. I’d like to offer my help as well, as I have a similar (yet less extensive) background as him.
Explore those feelings with care and attention and find someone to talk to. Be proud!
Hentai … I am touched and just want to give you a massive hug. It is a big step and very brave to voice your feelings in this way ..
I am not in any way qualified to advise you, except maybe from the university of life itself, but like so many others ..I feel its about taking your time and exploring these confused & unexpected feelings and attractions. I can certainly identify with being attracted to men and like most relationships .. its about spending time with that person and building trust and confidence in your relationship. Only you will know when you are ready to take the next step and for making sure it is right for you.
I wish you love and luck my friend .. and it is truly heartening to see the positive replies and offers of help on here.
Makes me proud to be a member of this Forum and all the joys and pitfalls of the game itself
Take care of you and each other . xxxI had think about this all this weekend and at last, i decided to write this cause i need to have some opinion about something about my experience here….
As all you know, i'm a man but there are so many others things you don't know but maybe someone of you had notice…..well, first of this things is i don't have a so open personality in real. i mean, in my work i have so many contact whit different peoples and administration, so during this last 12 years things had move a little better, but when it comes about personal stuf and interaction whit girls, well, i'm a totally dumb ass and, please don't laugh cause for how i am it's totally embarassing, i have to admit i don't had have any type of relationship and you can easly imagine what it means: never had sexual experience before…..
And here comes the experience i have here and the only real one (even if it can be considered a full sex experience): from when i had started here at the end of august, i had meet so many nice peoples, girls and boys, and at last i had really enjoy both and some of them know about my true self, some peoples i really care or, anyway, peoples i find interessing.
Well, all begun 7 months ago….i had post before about i had met a man who, when he learnd i live in Italy, had say to me he would like to meet me cause he move to italy for work, sometimes. I explain to him all, about i'm a man too and i'm not into that type of stuff…..
Some time had passed from that and, before Christmas, he say it again and i answer him i don't had change my mind. After that, he disappear for long time from Achat, till he pop up again some week ago and we had met again, many times.Till few days ago, when he said to me he hope someday he can do it in real……i talk whit him explaining it again, about i don't want it or, to be more clear, i'm not sure if i want it. And last friday night, things get “worst” (it's not the right word….): talking whit him when we was in room, it cames out about my mail (in this moment, i don't remember how we end talikng of it) and he ask to me if i can give it to him. Ok, it wasn't a big deal, cause i had set one just for Achat (not my real name on it, of course!) so i had give it to him…..well, after few minutes, he had send me a pic of his huge cock……that had surprise me and confused me……i mean, wow, never expect it so much (but it jump in my mind he will probably do it) but i feel my hearth bumping damn fast! we continue our meeting and it was so exciting….so much! and, before leaving, he had ask me if i will send him my pic…….oh my! anyway, i answer him i need time to think on it and i don't had make any promise.
But for this two last days, i can't stop thinking on it……on his pic……a part of me really want to do it, remembering my old experience (20 years ago!) cause at last, when i think on it, it was really exciting. it wasn't full sex, just jerking of in front of each other or stroking his cock sometimes (he had done the same to me) and it was only few times, but cant' get this tough out of my mind now….
Plus, well, i can't deny i had try something more by my self in the past years, even if it was just some isolate time……yes, i had try my fingers in my ass and some, well, sort of home made toys……i can't say i'd really love it, but even i can't say i don't had like it……And now….something i had never expect before is happend….thanks to Achat, or maybe it's only the fault of Achat!? i don't know…..
Well, the point is this: i had start thinking how it will be touching his cock., playing whit it……i feel this desire growing little by little and pushing me to the desire of sending him a pic and maybe more…..till, maybe, meeting him…..and this is confusing me too much, never had think about this stuff before!I had talk of this whit another friend here (he know i'm a guy too) and he suggest me to take my time: i know he is perfectly right and i agree whit him, but really….in this moment it's so hard to clarify my mind…..and this is why i'm writing it here, cause i really want to know your impression and, i'll hope!, maybe i can have some other good hint from you, my friend!
A really, really confused HB
As everyone has before me, I applaud you for your honesty of introspection. From your post you appear to have come to a point in your life where you are willing to ask yourself some very difficult questions. This shows a healthy perspective of personal growth that many people never get to. To reiterate a previous poster, only you can answer these deeply meaningful questions, and probably only you can phrase them to yourself so it doesn't produce negative feelings (hurt or embarassment). I respectfully suggest you make a list of questions for yourself and slowly and thoughtfully go through them.
I would never presume to pose YOUR questions for YOU. However, if I were in a similar situation, here are some thoughts I would share with myself:
* How would I define for myself what you describe as being a “total dumbass” with girls?
Am I nervous? Afraid of embarassing myself? Not confident with something about me,
i.e. looks, education, enough money? On the positive, am I excited, both sexually and
emotionally by women? If I do the analysis and I am truly attracted to women, then
I may be able to remove my deficits, i.e. fear, lack of funds, etc. On the other hand
if I am not drawn to women or attracted to them, then following society's rules may
doom me to a life of dissatisfaction.* Hypothetically, let us say that I come to the epiphany that I am not attracted to women,
but in fact, am attracted to men. First, I want some time to myself to come to grips with
the admission that I am not going to be happy following what most of society defines as
the norm. If I am ever going to have a rewarding relationship with any man, I must
first accept that I am OK with it. Your post tells me that you are still in a state of shock
because you repeat, “….but I am a Man…”. It is better to take some time to become
comfortable with the fact that you might be attracted to a man. As your friend said,
“take your time”. When you feel good about your decision, the chances of any
relationship will improve. Your confidence and nonverbal behavior (smile & posture)
will communicate you are ready.* Finally, and again this is just me talking to myself, I would ask if I want A relationship
or this particular relationship. Just because I have discovered that I am attracted to men
doesn't mean THIS particular man would be a good start. What does i mean that I have
told this person several times, “No.”, but he keeps ignoring my wishes. I might be
tempted to give him credit for perseverance, but since I am a skeptical person, I might
wonder if he would accept my admonition of “No” when we are exploring a sexual act.
If I am not ready, I want the power to decide, not be forced. Also, If I were pursuing a
relationship, would the first picture I send a stranger be of my genitals. Does a person
of this type want a “relationship” with me as a person, or quick sexual gratification.
If I decide that sex is all I want, then OK, it is my decision. However, I won't delude
myself into thinking that if I go to meet a guy who sent me a photo of his cock, that he
is interested in my career, my family, my hopes, etc.I offer the above only as examples of what goes through MY mind. Obviously, you need to select the questions that touch you best. I am only advocating the process of slow thoughtful self-introspection. With your post you have already demonstrated the courage to embark on this road. I believe most of your friends would encourage you to continue opening up this aspect of your life so you can better enjoy your sexuality. At the same time your posts project a sensitive and gentle nature. A little caution in this new area of Life may save you some of the pain that many of us have experienced, hence the cliche, “fools rush in where Angels fear to tread.”
Live fully, but take care my friend.
Dear Hentai ,
I can only say that you're essentially a lovely sensitive and kind person.
Always caring and friendly and also modest. These are great character traits. And I really like that side of your personality. I am glad that things are better when it comes to your sexuality and relationships, both in real life and here. I think that your partner, for whom you desire, recognizes the same and probably much more
, It is obvious that you are attractive to him, because if it is not so – likely to be no longer met.
On the other hand, those of your wonderful qualities along with your spontaneity, that can distinctly felt, can also demonstrate clearly that you are easily vulnerable.And I do not want, same as our cute friends here,
to see you disappointed or hurt – so do not rush to a meeting in the real.
There are many ways, on the net, to explore and enjoy together, most importantly, get to know each other better
before making any rapid decisions.But also don't be afraid my friend and follow your heart always. Do not worry ,if he said that he would wait, that it's worth waiting -he will wait. Time will show you the best, better than any advice. At the same time I suggest you in the meantime just enjoy at what you have now. Be relaxed and happy, do not torment yourself the worries and doubts too much. Finally when the time show, your wishes and desires can be fulfilled in the best manner.
Or maybe ( sorry for my honesty), if your expectations not achieved, or it turns out that your partner is not what you thought, there is no reason to feel bad because why should you
I believe If two people strong enough and honestly enough want something to be ,they will and that something will find the right way, If this doesn't happen, it obviously never been so worth what it may seem .
You can be, sort of , happy because in other case would be much more complicated and you 'll be probably hurt much more if you let things go too far ahead of time.it's just my opinion with all my sincerity and with a lot of respect for your post. Sorry if I sounded harsh or something at some point.
Wish you the best HB ! :-*
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