The forums › Everything about sex and love › What turns you off in chatting?
Tagged: Turn Offs
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June 12, 2012 at 12:42 pm #5735
Because we had the what turns you on as far as chat I thought it would be a good idea to have the opposite view. So what turns you off as far as chatting. Feel free to include:
Icebreakers (lines or words people use to start the the conversation)
General Chatting Manner
Language Used
Fetish's That Repulse (Though most of them should be self evident)
Weirdest Request
Unreasonable Requests (things you wont do)
Anything you think is prudentNow the needed example from my pov.
Icebreakers – the biggest turn off in a icebreaker for me is not being able to clearly state something in a sentence. Second biggest is the person telling me they are horny/full of cum/wet. My response for the first one is … simply yep I am not going to even bother with that person. Second is …well how nice for you whats your point. (telling me that you horny/full of cum/wet should never be during an icebreaker phase come on I understand that you can be but I may not be so stating it is just silly)
General Chatting Manner – this covers more or less the way they present themselves in the conversation. If mutual interest builds let it build normally if its not building and your forcing it. Its simply rude and less interesting by the second. Generally in conversation I am very easy-going but there are things that i have problems with. An example was someone whom was a little tipsy talking on behalf of his girlfriend and himself and looking for an online girlfriend on top to act out fantasies. The person was completely unclear and when called on it just became rude. Eventually if your doing that its either ignore or just leave you to your devices.
Language Used – As a primary English speaker … I can understand not all the people on Achat share that linguistic background but a clear attempt is preferable. That being said I have found those that speak in broken English tend to speak it better then the god awful people that speak in ebonics. (Which is pretty much slang heavy and without context completely unclear and not worth even acknowledging. Also swearing, being insulting calling names is quick way to loose interest … in context is fine but at least check first.
Fetish's that repulse – The requests that I have had are a little weird when it comes to RP … these include the ageplay, incest forced domination .. etc. These are just a complete turn off (obviously there is more to the list but lets put it this way I prefer not to state them).
Weirdest Request – I have ever gotten from a person on achat was to hop on the cams with him and tell him how to abuse his genitals and ass. That was just weird completely just … good god no. Main reason why is because there is no fun there for me I dont like seeing people hurt its just … a no no for me.
Unreasonable Requests – for me thats self evident. As I like to keep my achat and real life seperate most unreasonable request is to meet or to exchange personal details of any kind. (we know the reason why from the other post and other topics on here so I dont want to restate it)
June 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm #65294Nice topic
From my perspective, the number one gripe I have is: We've started chatting… We're both being pleasant and the chatting is going well. I send a message and I am informed that the person I was chatting with has gone into a room! No warning, no “I'm going to go into a room with someone”… nothing. The decent thing (IMO) is to at least “end” the chat.
Number two is: Again, we're chatting along… being pleasant… some good jokes and messages being sent… then suddenly… no more responses and I'm chatting with myself. Oh, she's still there but a friend or lover has showed up or for whatever reason the chat stops. Again, say something and “end” the chat.
Number three is as a guy… you only get one chance. I'll admit, I have a goofy sense of humor that people sometimes don't get… we'll be chatting along and I'll send (what I think) is an innocent message only to be told that I have a “smart” sense of humor that the she doesn't like. End of chat and zapped into the ignore bin… no chance to explain… no chance to apologize.
I wondered how many people actually clean out their Ignore Lists… I took a survey only 11% ever do.Back on topic:
The turn off's for me is a demand for a gift (you ladies probably don't get that one). Incest requests (I don't want to be anyone's daddy or uncle). I'm with you on the Repulsive Fetishes.P.S. I never get treated like that by Robot Girl.
June 12, 2012 at 4:19 pm #65295I agree with you Covems. I’ve even been in rooms when the lady just bolts. No explanation or anything. Was it something I said or did? And I don’t gift for rooms either. Yes, I pay the monthly premium, but outside of that, I don’t pay for sex irl, why should I here? One other thing is – more like a pet peeve – not reading bios/profiles. I put that info on there for a reason. Just my .02 (in US dollars)
😉
June 12, 2012 at 7:17 pm #65296In response to the point raised by Covems regarding “Girls” disappearing without saying why or where…………
I have had my bottom spanked a couple of times for doing this, but I didn't do it maliciously or even unthinkingly…………
I am often talking to at least 5 people at once and if I am invited, then by the time I have apologised to everyone and told them I have a date, the invite has long expired and the inviter then takes the huff because they feel I don't want to room them after all.
I do try, but it is often quite impossible!
Most times, if I am waiting for a specific room invite, then I try and tell the friends I'm chatting with that I have an expected date.I have considered this many times and I would like to ask The DEV TEAM to give us some sort of button which flags up a “Sorry folks, I've been invitied to a room, catch you all later” message.
Of course if anyone has a better idea, I would be very glad to hear it!
June 12, 2012 at 7:37 pm #65297In response to the point raised by Covems regarding “Girls” disappearing without saying why or where…………
I am often talking to at least 5 people at once and if I am invited, then by the time I have apologised to everyone and told them I have a date, the invite has long expired and the inviter then takes the huff because they feel I don't want to room them after all.
Of course if anyone has a better idea, I would be very glad to hear it!
How about this? Try telling the “inviter” that you would like to end the other 4 chats first. Politely end the chats and then go into the room. That's not an unreasonable request is it?
June 12, 2012 at 7:57 pm #65298Chat is very important to me. Words are the base for how I play the game and what i use when chatting to friends. So what turns me off are:
– an overuse of abbreviations. Take the time to write full words, I’m not into text/sms language. I’ve come to value the english language greatly
🙂
– convo’s that end after 3 sentences: her: hi me: hello {name} her: how r u me: I’m fine, thanks. how are you? her: good 2…. Am I expected to take over initiative immediatly after they chose to talk to me? That doesn’t trigger my interest and actually annoys me
– the lack of abilty for accepting I am nót going to room. That seems very hard to understand for some. A huge turn off to be begged, threatened or cursed at when telling someone you have other plans
– The perversities as mentioned above.– at the top of the list: girls that ask for gifts, for whatever reason
weirdest request: I was told to go fuck my daughter when i told the one I was chatting to, that she had woken up. Still gives me the creeps..
June 12, 2012 at 11:08 pm #65299In response to the point raised by Covems regarding “Girls” disappearing without saying why or where…………
I am often talking to at least 5 people at once and if I am invited, then by the time I have apologised to everyone and told them I have a date, the invite has long expired and the inviter then takes the huff because they feel I don't want to room them after all.
Of course if anyone has a better idea, I would be very glad to hear it!
How about this? Try telling the “inviter” that you would like to end the other 4 chats first. Politely end the chats and then go into the room. That's not an unreasonable request is it?
Hee hee
I wish it was that easy.. some people won't stop talking……, then they want to know who your rooming with…. and why aren't they invited…
like I said, by the time youve told everyone, the inviter has gone cold…..
You don't understand it because you've never been a girl………
I don't like being “rude” to anyone. you know me, you know that.
June 12, 2012 at 11:52 pm #653001) Being called Mom or Mommy … wtf is that all about??? on first contact. Really hate people who presume I like incest.
2) Being referred to as milf …. its so not a compliment, not where I come from anyway.
3) Rooming in mid conversation – its just plain rude and disrespectful
4) Saying sorry, you are busy and then getting pounded with cold invites from the person you have told
5) Using gutter language on first contact … come on please … should be kept to the room
6) Having a barrage of filthy talk, after you have told them you are already chatting with friends and are busy.
7) Underage8) Weirdest request – A guy told me to go die cus I refused to room him and when I adminished him with BB scriptures – he told me he was reporting me to Achat, then left messages for me and my family to die … big mistake trying to bully a red head lol Lets say I didnt report him to Achat but he didnt bother me again
🙂 Every time I saw him on line , my goal was to get him to ignore me. And I got a few friends in on the act too LMAO Bet he knows the scriptures off by heart.
9) When telling people of interesting Forum topics to check out and vote for their favourites, presuming or trying to negotiate sexual favours in return for their time and effort… well.. words fail me on that one.. almost, but not quite .. lmao
10) England losing at footy … Grrr LOLWow, I was on a role lol …. that will do for now 🙂
June 13, 2012 at 12:11 am #65301Blu… an invite sent without on assumption is rude in my book. Everyone should ask… not just presume. Telling the invitor.. “just a sec” is justified…. and if that pisses them off… well if you want to continue play with one like that , that's your decision… anyone… ANYONE… knows they are not the only one probably talking to a lady… courtesy is understanding she has friends… with whom she may wish to excuse herself.
as to those pushing the conversation… really you owe them only the goodbye…. the rest none of their business…. goes back to the issue of understanding and courtesy.
*puffs*… sorry.. I think that its a sore spot with me too, like most guys. I cannot accept that…I know when conversation has withered… well it's a pretty good sign of your importance and value to the other in that moment. I hate to admit it… but have been guilty of this myself….and understand how it made a dear friend feel… am still apologizing to her over that…
Taking that brief moment to state “gtg”…” gtf… ” or “dates here bye” with a “ttyl” is more than enough and takes little effort…puts them on notice…
I like to chat.. the presumption that I am going to just jump into bed immediately is a turn off… though… Mr. Bear sometimes go for it with a newbie… being angry that I decline…a bigger issue. I am a hard one to seduce… and like to know the expectations ahead of time… before rooming. If they wish to room to chat, that is a point I am willing to consider… if nothing else is going on.
Unlike the others… I much rather have the “Hello”… or any other awkward approach… Woman are sometimes nervous about approaching a man…I have met some marvelous ladies from their simple lines of “hello”… “how are you” than the clever one liners. To me it's what they say afters that matters when I do respond. I may never play with them… but I have some true “friends” as such with whom I seldom or never play with. In a couple of circumstances a hello has led to deep rich friendships.
Respect come to mind though… cause there are fetishes I won't do… pushing that on me guarantees I won't play again. Hounding me over it does one no good.
Respect of my privacy… I will share some things… being pushed beyond those limits…sets the flares off
Presumptions… just because I can do VR Dom and it seems of late many express that skewed viewpoint of reputation about me… does not mean I want to Dom every time I enter a room. I play all over the spectrum… but find many woman do not express their expectations of me before entering a room.
Abusive language… quickest exit and ignore you'll ever see….I hate it… that includes racial references. I use neither… and expect the same not to be directed towards me or any partner in any derogatory fashion. Humiliation is not my bag… expecting me to utilize it in BDSM play… nah… I am quite capable of performing without that cheap disgusting trick…and that runs back into that category of fetishes I won't do.
yeah that gifting line…it's already been said.
Covems… you get more than one chance…sometimes you have to keep rolling for it… until it finally is delivered again.
June 13, 2012 at 2:17 am #65302The turn off's for me is a demand for a gift (you ladies probably don't get that one). Incest requests (I don't want to be anyone's daddy or uncle). I'm with you on the Repulsive Fetishes.
No Covems we get the assumption from guys that if they gift us that we some how owe them something. I have never ever asked for a gift in my entire time in AChat infact I find the suggestion that I will room for a gift insulting. If other girls accept that then thats on them to deal with but it detracts from the fun of AChat and its just an implication I do not even like and respond very negatively to.
I've even been in rooms when the lady just bolts.
Me bolting from a room usually is because the other partner has done something I dont like or its connection issues. Either way I at least say why. If its the former its usually because you have ignored something .. for example .. we are in a pose I say I dont like what your doing and you keep going … I have already said it a few times by the time I leave. So that should be obvious.
Connection Issues well everyone understands there.I have considered this many times and I would like to ask The DEV TEAM to give us some sort of button which flags up a “Sorry folks, I've been invitied to a room, catch you all later” message.
Yes either that or you have a button that extends the time on the invite or a button that sends a message back to its sender “Give me a second I'll tell you when to send an invite.”
Only problem with that is the fact that in my experience some people can be very inpatient.weirdest request: I was told to go fuck my daughter when i told the one I was chatting to, that she had woken up. Still gives me the creeps..
That is one of the most sickening suggestions I have ever seen Tight.
Wow, I was on a role lol …. that will do for now
you were on a roll Brandybee. I have to agree with most of your post … I laughed alot at your weirdest request thats a way to have some fun with it I should have thought of it. England losing at footy ?…lol (I must disagree)
June 13, 2012 at 5:07 am #65303@Bear.
That is unworthy Bear, really! I thought you knew me better than that. I do not jump into bed (or room) at a second's notice or with anyone who happens along.I wasn't saying it was right or polite to leave mid-conversation to join someone in a room, I was saying that it is wrong, but sometimes it happens. I may even have thought that the offended person had gone away themselves if they hadn't said anything for about 6 inches!
The next time such a situation arises, I'll take a screen-shot of my dialogue box to show you just what I mean!June 13, 2012 at 7:33 am #65304My apologies Blu'… I certainly don't see you that way and certainly do not want others to believe that of you. It might be how I read your reply in the context of what the others are saying….most men and woman… would agree… disappearing in ACTIVE chat… not a conversation long delayed… is the a turn off. Long silence shouldn't be the issue…
I stand by my comments.. . a quick notice is all needed…asking a sec to say goodbye.. and giving those you talk with a heads up is common courtesy… That they hound you… well I see that wrong…once noticed I see no need to explain onesellf. Likewise once agreeing to room… that doesn't mean take 5 minutes to say goodbye…that in turn is unfair to the waiting partner.
Guess I am a hard nose in that regard… and see a grilling after being told rooming is immenent as a bit intrusive… none of their buisness with whom I am spending time with. Yet I understand that with one popular like you… the guys are jockeying for some edge of attention.
June 13, 2012 at 7:58 am #65305Talking about multy chat remind me to a couple i know here (they are married in RL, but i have the feeling they are the same person!) who get upset if they find out i'm talking whit others users while talking whit them…..ridicolous! i don't think there is something wrong whit it and, of course, it can happend to room whit one of the users i'm chatting, but usually i ask to wait a moment to say bye to the others.
why there are so many crazy peoples around me!? uuuffffff………so unlucky! :'(
June 13, 2012 at 9:21 am #65306I agree with almost everything that has been pointed out here.
I don't get upset if someone suddenly leaves a room or goes busy while chatting, I just don't find it worth to get myself worked up about.
I really dislike the utterly and completely rude remarks from ignorant people that just see me as a thing rather than a person because of who I am or the people that are so enamored with the sexuality of MTF transsexuals that they can only see their own interest and scenarios.
I of course have to answer a lot of questions about my transsexuality and such… I don't mind that but to be honest it's a bit of a turn off to get down to that all the time.
June 13, 2012 at 10:17 am #65307you know, Adera…..curiosity is the real engine of human kind! probably, if we don’t have it, we were living in a cave and the best approach will be a wood mace hit on the head….sound interessing!? :
🙂
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The forums › Everything about sex and love › What turns you off in chatting?