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Having a Dom

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  • May 9, 2013 at 9:33 am #6359
    Selene23
    Participant

    I've had a dom on Achat for a good long while now. When we met he was sweet and charming to me, assertive but not unduly so. Lately it seems like all he cares about is getting himself off and just when I start to relax and indulge in my fantasies, he goes “sorry gotta go” then disappears. It has happened more and more often and I'm obviously getting fed up with it. What should I do?

    May 9, 2013 at 10:10 am #89105
    Brandybee
    Participant

    From a woman's point of view, and outside of the Dom / sub kink of course  – Dump his ass and tell  him to use Robot Girl. ( Except Eva – She's taken :)  )

    I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who will satisfy and volunteer to be of service.  Remember, there are more guys on here than girls, you can afford to be choosy.  You deserve better!!!

    Good luck on your search.

    May 9, 2013 at 10:15 am #89106
    hentaiboy69
    Participant

    Let me understand……

    Lately it seems like all he cares about is getting himself off and just when I start to relax and indulge in my fantasies, he goes “sorry gotta go” then disappears. It has happened more and more often and I'm obviously getting fed up with it.

    i can say things are not going properly right between you and your Dom, cause she or he leave you alone when things start to begin and you, at last, are little disappointed with it….or am i wrong!? Dom/Sub is all a game of trust (for the less i know!) but i have the impression your dom is just playng around with you!

    not knowing all the situation, i can't judge properly so i think before we can give you an help (or just an hint), maybe you can try to explain it to us better!

    May 9, 2013 at 10:22 am #89107
    Momma_andrea
    Participant

    From a woman's point of view – Dump his ass and tell him him to use Robot Girl.

    I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who will satisfy and volunteer to be of service.  Remember, there are more guys on here than girls, you can afford to be choosy.  You deserve better!!!

    Good luck on your search.

    THIS ^

    May 9, 2013 at 10:52 am #89108
    Selene23
    Participant

    @hentaiboy69
    It just became a sort of he asks me to his room, things start up and get kinky. It would often be a very detailed hot roleplay we did and it was wonderfully. I don't know if he just got tired of it or decided I didn't deserve to get pleasure. So it slowly got rougher as we went on and it actually ended up being more and more fun as time went on with the way it was going.

    Then about two weeks ago, about five minutes in he abruptly disconnects leaving me completely unsatisfied and frustrated. Figuring something happened, I ended up speaking with a friend and we ended up having a long roleplay session. Then when I leave the room, he's online and I ask him what happened. No answer.

    The next day, same thing happens and now I'm suspicious. So I wait a few days, log back in and greet him. He greets me warmly and things begin rolling forward. About twenty minutes in, gone. I look and he's still online but he just left the room. I go to speak with him and he's now in a room with somebody else.

    I avoided him until a few hours ago and figured I may as well see if this is a recurring theme and sure enough, within fifteen minutes he left. So I came here, made the post and asked for advice.

    May 9, 2013 at 11:43 am #89109
    sexilicious
    Participant

    Selene from what I'm hearing your Dom is a JERK. Two souls willing go into a D/S relation based on trust. The sub tries their best to please the Master while the Master tries his best to please, protect, and cherish the sub. Communication is one of the biggest keys for any type of relation. Have you tried talking to him about the way you feel? If so and that is the way he continues to treat you, I agree with the others DUMP HIM. You willingly went into the relationship and you have the RIGHT to leave as well. Just from what I'm hearing it sounds more like he is a wannabe Dom that was playing around with it.

    May 9, 2013 at 11:58 am #89110
    stray
    Participant

    From a woman's point of view – Dump his ass and tell him him to use Robot Girl.

    I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who will satisfy and volunteer to be of service.  Remember, there are more guys on here than girls, you can afford to be choosy.  You deserve better!!!

    Good luck on your search.

    Quote!

    May 9, 2013 at 12:26 pm #89111
    hentaiboy69
    Participant

    At this point, leave him……he is just plaing with you and this is abolutely wrong! You can't have trust in him in this situation, and trust is the base of D/S relationship……

    From a woman's point of view – Dump his ass and tell him him to use Robot Girl.

    I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who will satisfy and volunteer to be of service.  Remember, there are more guys on here than girls, you can afford to be choosy.  You deserve better!!!

    Good luck on your search.

    Quote!

    I quote both of you, girls!

    May 9, 2013 at 12:57 pm #89112
    Covems
    Participant

    From a woman's point of view – Dump his ass and tell him him to use Robot Girl.

    Please leave Robot Girl out of this… why should she be subjected to this type of behavior?

    I offer this line in it's place:

    Dump his ass and tell him him to use Robot Girl Robot Boy.

    Miss Brandy is correct… there are a lot more males than females, and I'm sure you would make some guy's year.  I would offer my services, but I am not into that style of play… I enjoy equal standings with a good romp.  ;D  Although there was a time that involved a pretty girl, and a lasso that is quite memorable.

    May 9, 2013 at 1:14 pm #89113
    Bear
    Participant

    “Dump his ass”  may ignore some of the psychology here. sorry folks but there may be deeper issues that need guidance.

    In the virtual world the D/s relationship heavily depends on communication. we do not have the normal visual clues to key on only words and actions. More than once I have spoken to subs who have sought console of such matters, and I can offer only this:

    You maintain the power of the relationship, your submission is the gift to a dominant and in return you expect their guidance for that control.  Without that the pact becomes broken and the submissive will tend to find confusion, and frustration. Sexi' is correct here, your trust in his cherishment of the offering, and confidence in the relationship will suffer. True submissive attitudes tend to bond strong to their Doms, which make matters more complicated. It is not always reciprocated. A friend once said subs are needy types,…, well yes they have given themselves fully and expect something in return.

    Boredom  can be an issue, which definitely can strain matters, yet without a frank talk shed of the roles there is no possible way to correct the matter.

    As a submissive you do have a responsibility of “taking care” of your Dom/Domme's needs, that includes some degree emotional and mental support, yet not a long term suffering of their lack of attention. Request that frank talk and be truthful that things are not going to your liking and that you are reconsidering your submission, he has a choice here, to accommodate your needs or release you.

    Failure to even grant the discussion is an answer in itself, and cut the contact off. Move on… there are plenty of toppish men out there to explore RP who will be far willing to provide for your needs.

    in essence… sexi' says it all. You may be dealing with a “wannabe” type.

    Good luck Selene.

    May 11, 2013 at 9:00 pm #89114
    kittenlepurr
    Participant

    I have to agree with Bear … communicate with him if he does this an he is aware of the situation and keeps doing it.

    Dump him and you can try with bear :p

    May 11, 2013 at 9:14 pm #89115
    hentaiboy69
    Participant

    Dump him and you can try with bear :p

    This is not the “Bear necessity”, this is a Bear invasion! the fuck!?

    May 11, 2013 at 9:26 pm #89116
    Lover
    Participant

    No off topic please in a topic like this.

    Selene, did you ever talk to him about your feelings, your needs and wishes? Is there something in your behave that encourage his behaviour?

    I've got the feeling he thinks a dom has to be like this (a wannabe as sexi and bear said) or, much worse, you are just a toy for him. There when he needs a it, placed in the corner afterwards.
    Talk to him, tell him you don't like it this way. If he accepts you can give him another try. If he doesn't understand, wish him all the best and go.

    May 11, 2013 at 10:00 pm #89117
    hentaiboy69
    Participant

    sorry for the off topic…..btw……

    from what i had understand, she had try to talk with him and nothing had change (if i'm wromng, i'm sorry!), so why wasting more time with him!? there are lot of guys around AChat who would fulfiil her nedds, so……

    my suggestion is to talk with him and explain him why you want to end yoursrelationship of Dom/Sub, then leave……no turning back, i think!

    May 12, 2013 at 7:05 am #89118
    Selene23
    Participant

    I appreciate all the helpful advice from everyone. Just… wow, I didn't expect this much. I have spoken with him in the past about such things and he  had always seemed to keep them in mind.  However as I said before, lately he didn't seem to care. I decided to take Bear's advice and speak with him. Unsurprisingly, I didn't get even a word back even after several messages. I have left him behind and am now hoping to find somebody else.

    Thanks again everyone for all the advice. I really do appreciate it. Perhaps I'll have better luck elsewhere.

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