A Cruel Deception

[Sandra92]

dear community.

a serious thing to think about ….

I am in here for about half a year and I really like the way we are sharing feelings, thoughts and fun with each other.

I always feel deep respect on everyones privacy as I request it for me too.

You all will know … there are good times and bad times (as well as bed times) … I think I dont have to go into details … But there is one thing that happened to me which I have to tell you … you may call me childish somehow … but I think its good to tell you to give you a warning.

For a long time … I was thinking about entering the true nicknames of the people being referred to … and I have to. If there was some rule against it the admins should delete them out or tell me to do so.

But back to my story … Its a warning not to trust in everybody and to always treat the people in here the way you want to be treated.

It all started a few months ago … when a nice guy from the netherlands asked me to join him in a room.

I really loved him to be so gentle and tender and we had a lot of fun.

During the following weeks my friend list grew and there were a rising amount of messages and chat request each time I logged on.
Up to 10 chat request a minute I had to handle.
Its not my way to ignore people who are talking to me … so I send a small answer for everyone (btw. I am really in need of a button which tells them “sorry I am busy”) .

I got a rule … when I am talking to someone already … I wont leave him without any serious reasons.
So even my friends got these busy messages. And so did the friend I was talking about in the beginning.
He was very unlucky in getting about 80 percent denies from me due to my rules.

Well I couldnt help it and so I told him about it.
But we got nice times as well … I learned about his gf, who is online too … and we had a great time too.

One time she told me that she had to leave to overseas for several months and she wished me to take care of her bf. And so I promised to.
Unfortunately my situation referring to chat requests didnt get better … so he wasnt able to reach me each time he wanted to.
In the end (two weeks ago) he got so angry about it that he told me he would cancel friendship.

Thats his right of course … and so I told him that I could not help it … it would be his decision.
But I knew his arguments already because he tried it that way before to get me into bed again.
So I told him I could ease this and delete him as well if he wanted me to.

He told me about him informing his gf by phonecall … well … the escalation rised and in the end … I deleted both of them.
He left and 2 minutes later she was on. She was vey angry about me deleting her and told me that she got problems with her bf.

In the end … she told me to set me on her ignore list …. and so she did. Her last words were “then go to hell”.

A week ago …. I cleared my ignore list and got a chat request by him, telling me that its very important.
I agreed and we went into a room. Then he told me that I would never see his gf again because she died from suicide three days ago in hospital.
I cried the whole afternoon and told my real friends about it.
Many of them told me not to take it too serious.
Others told me that it obviously would be a trick to bring me back to him.

Well I was on the ground and there was always a feeling that I might be responsible for her death as well.
One day later I got a call by a real friend who told me that she saw this girl who was told to be dead … online.

So I recognized that I was fooled in a very very ugly way. There was no sadness in me anymore but anger and hate.
I went online to talk to him and give him a chance to explain what he did.
And I reached him … when I told him to explain … he went offline.

Unfortunately … I cant proof it because I didnt take a screenshot when he told me about her death – which might be understandable.
Thats the reason why I left outh the real nicknames up to now.
People who dont believe this should not read further or ignore the names. I told all my friends who are on his contact list about this and they agreed with me to ignore him from now on.

well … just to keep it as a warning not to trust in everybody in here … and to take care about your own feelings and the feelings of the people you are talking to.

Never play with feelings in that way … you may hurt people in real!

Thanks a lot to all my real friends who helped me in these days … I really love you

Even though I thought about leaving I am still here with my real friends … Sandra (Sandra92)

warning

the people I was talking about are “spidermen” and “marijke”

[Anonymous]

Dear Sandra92, I feel for you! Spidermen has contacted me many times before but I have never had the time to talk to him and his repeated attempts have annoyed me to no end! I will make sure that he is on my ignore list for sure after reading this. I have no time to be sucked into such drama, and have some really wonderful friends that I would rather spend my time with on achat. Thank you and take care!

[himmi]

das ist ….. krass ….
hier gibt es leider viele idioten sandra … es tut mir leid das dir so übel mitgespielt wurde
ich merk mir den namen

[Carli]

Dear Sandra,

That's just awful! That leads me to think he tricked me too, but not nearly as shocking as he did with you. I will confront him about it…

[sinnnn]

Ahhh thats some really cruddy shit. I had him on my list and deleted him because I never felt the urge to have him in a room. But I added him back on when he asked. But now I understand why I sooo did not want to go in a room with him.

Not to be hard on anyone but I don’t understand why ppl think that because you are on line that ppl can’t be dicks. I hear so many sob stories and I don’t get it. Maybe because I ran into so many dicks in rl that it takes a hell of alot for me to trust anyone. I have said it before treat ppl the way you want to be treated. To fake anyones death is sick as hell and he needs to be bitch slap in rl. If the story is true(not knocking you Sandra but there is always two sides of a story) they both need therapy. Alot of therapy. I really hope this don’t ruin Achat for you. Had a bad experience with someone almost ruining Achat for me. But I’ll be damn if I am going to give anyone the satistfation of making quit anything. I say fuck them and forget them. You vented, now move on. Never let anyones shit hold you down.

😉

[apollo13nut]

Well, I don't see why you would spend the time posting such a lengthy grievance if it wasn't true. That being said, people will tell you “hey, it's online, don't let it get to you.” As a person who has bi-polar (in real life, not making it up), I will say “Online or not, it still hurts if you care enough.” I have had a few online relationships and they can be just as emotional as face-to-face relationships. I hope this incident doesn't cause you to do anything stupid or stop using AChat. Be the stronger person and make new, better friends.

I try to get on everyday. I have my email, yahoo, aim filled out here on the forum….feel free to contact me in anyway if you'd like to just bs, exchange ideas, or even on some advice (though I am by NO MEANS and expert, but I do have some insight)

And if you want my really honest opinion, I wouldn't be surprised if they are the same person…..

[Janine Dee]

I've had contact with two people in this situation.

Sandra92 is a lover of mine, and she's wonderful.

Spidermen is one of the first guys to get on my ignore list for continuing the pester me after I explained “lesbian=doesn't room with men”.

So I'm inclined to see it happening basically as portrayed, especially since the big point of faking a suicide is one point that can't really be misinterpreted.

[sinnnn]

Well Spiderman needs to change his name. He sure hell ain’t no fucking hero. This truly pisses me off, to hear someone play on death.(GRRRRRRR). Like I said before-, VENT and VENT somemore to get it out your system. Then try to let it go. Don’t let anyone keep you down. Remember you tried to be a friend, a good person, don’t change. Keep your head up. 😉

[Janine Dee]

Just as a note Sweetie it is Spidermen, spelled like it's plural. I don't know if there is a Spiderman out there on AChat, but it wouldn't be the same guy… or at least it wouldn't be the guy under a known id.

[sinnnn]

I missed spelled.  My bad.  Its not like he is that important to me that I would care to remember his name.  hehe 

[Janine Dee]

Absolutely, I just had this mental picture of some poor little guy who decided to tittle himself after his favorite comic and gets… well a J Joana Jameson smack down for some other guys misdeeds… yeah still a geek. ;D

[sinnnn]

A lovely geek  X-men rule.  LOL. 

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