An Apology To All My Friends In The Forum. (Rape story)

[NewGurl]

An Apology To All My Friends In The Forum

It has come to my attention that some of my posts have offended some of my friends here in the forum. I like role-playing and when I’m in fantasy mode that’s exactly what I’m doing, acting out fantasies! As there is never any “real” action, it never occurred to me that anyone reading interactions between me and other players could be upset by what goes on between consenting adults or could be disturbed by it, but I am led to believe that this has actually happened and it makes me very sad.

Whereas a player in a RP situation might say “NO NO NO” as part of the game, if they were really upset or disagreed with what was happening, they could and hopefully would, just pull out of the conversation/play and say what had made them stop to avoid repetition of the offending actions.

I truly am sorry if I or any of my playmates have said or done anything which for any reason has made anyone feel uncomfortable about what we were doing. All of you are dear friends to me and I would have never knowingly have said anything to upset any of you.

I have went through and tried to remove the offending posts. I hope that I have got them all. Now that I have done this, after I post this I will take a haitus from the forum for awhile. I need some time away from here for awhile.

I do love you all and I am deeply sorry if I offended anyone. Thank you for reading this.

Your friend
Bonnie

[medjai]

My dear and sweet NG I will miss you here as I'm sure many others will, that being said this post sends me back to our little adventure with sexiliscious and in case someone got offended by it let me assure everyone: what happend that night it was all consensual, noone forced anyone to do anything, as NG said if I wasn't ok with what was happening I could have put a stop to it or directly leave the room. What happened that night was pure fun rping and I enjoyed every moment of it. This is a world of fantasy and what better place to experment and let loose of our inhibitions then a room here in achat?

I will room again with NG if she'll have me and that's because I think she's the sweetest woman with a big heart, I hope that whoever was offended by that story understands that it was fun and kinky rping between consenting adults, nothing more nothing less. All the persons involved agreed for that story to be posted, I actually asked NG to post it cause I thought everyone would have had a big laugh about it and maybe some nice naughty thoughts  but if in anyway it offended someone I apologize too cause I'm as resnposable as NG for that thred.

[Janine Dee]

With the format I for one pretty much approached it as, by being a part of the conversation they were giving their consent to be in whatever was happening in the conversation.

I know I'll be sorry to see you go New. You brought a great deal of fresh energy to the Forum and I hope you'll be back soon.

[hentaiboy69]

Bonnie, from my point of you, you never be offensive and have you here in forum was really fun and i hope you back to us soon, cause i know we gonna miss a nice friend like you, specially blue, eh eh!

dunno why you gonna be in hiatus, but whatever it is, i'll wish you all the best luck you can have! take care of you and don't forget about us! 

[bluedenim]

I'm Sorry.
This is my fault.
Someone messaged me privately and told me that the posting had upset them. I know that that would be the last thing that NewGurl would want to do, so she and I had a long talk about it.
I am obviously gutted that she has chosen to not just take the offending post out, which was put there at Medjai's request, but to cease posting for a while.
I'm sure this wasn't what the person who messaged me would have wanted and I beg of them not to take it badly, I'll talk NG round into coming back really soon. I haven't told NG or anyone who the person upset at the perceived “rape” scene was and neither will I ever.
Perhaps a perceived rape can bring back horrible memories to someone, I don;t know and I don;t think any of us need to know, such a thing would be too painful to be reminded of.

Maybe in a week we should delete this thread completely, that would be no bad thing. We are on this site to enjoy ourselves and I want to room all of you one day, but bring a paddle!
xxxxxxxx
Blue Denim

[Adera]

I was offended by the first few posts on the rape in Blue's thread.

I don't know what you've read Tight but there was no expression of inner thoughts, emotions or feelings, all that could be read as third party was a non consensual rape.

My views on rape play might be narrow minded and biased but an anal rape done that way irl would involve tearing, bleeding and shit… this wasn't real but I would have liked to see some consent before reading it rather than after. My thoughts when reading it the first time was “What… the… fuck” and that was before the RP itself was posted as a separate erotic story.

Anyway it was later apparent that it was all consensual but I had already made up my mind to distance myself from the thread then so when I was called upon to join in again I sent a message telling that I wouldn't play there anymore and why.

I cannot enjoy nor do I want to be part of rape play like that, if anyone wants to do rape play like that they can feel free to do so for all I care but I'm not going to be part of it.

I didn't want to make any big deal out of this, I just didn't want to be part of something I cannot enjoy myself, but since it has come to this I will apologize for the colorful and hurtful words I've used to convey my initial impression. I hope NG will come back to us and that she will forgive me as well.

[Lover]

Edit: Blue, Adera and I posted same time. So some of my questions are answered. But for the meaning of my words I don't change my post.

Bonnie, all the posts you made and hopefully make in rp mode are entertaining. So come back and share your thoughts and ideas with us. This is an erotic forum and erotic has a wide range of preferences and possibilities.
The only rules: Don't use children or animals (you never did) and just do things that your partners agree.
For me it was obious to read everyone agrees. If somone doesn't like to read this, this person can stop reading and go to the next thread.

The other point: It seems to me you didn't speak to the person that feels offended. You write “it has come to my attention” and “some of my posts”. There is a big danger. Perhaps there is a big misunderstanding? Are you sure this person really is offended reading the rp? Or can it be another wish of him/her? Perhaps she/he wasn't talking about your posts in rp or she was believing you attacked someone during the rp, who isn't able to defend themselves and wanted to help?
At all, I don't think it is right to delete threads only one person doesn't like. Other friends have made their thoughts, took part in writing their ideas and other spent their time in reading and (hopefully) enjoying it. As you did it now it's too late to change. But perhaps it's  food for thoughts to any other one, thinking twice before deleting something.

Finally let me say: This forum also is living cause the members are living and loving it. Members with different ages from different countries. Surely there are difference likes, opinions and charackters. This is exactly what we need!

So to all other: Stay, even if you don't like everything.
Bonnie, come back soon even if not everyone loves your kind of doing.  :-*

[Lover]

Adera,  I remember this post and agree: First moment I thought by myself “hey, what is she doing?” But then I said to myself “I don't know the connection between them; what, if they know and also know about their likes and dislikes?”
Imagine there is a new user coming up here – what would he feel in some posts? Just take our old story – you have been a student and I the teacher. Is it possible, someone is reading it and thinking “Danger! Forbidden! Misuse of underaged pupils!”?

I didn't post there like you cause I didn't want to take part in the story. That was our way. Nothing less, nothing more.

Though it seems to me you gave your opinion and also explained your reason. That's ok and in my eyes the right way.

[hentaiboy69]

no one is here to force other peoples to do something they don’t want.
If there is something i don’t wanna do, i just tell, no matter what someone else is thinking, that’s the point. i had found some really nice friends here (in forum and online) and something more (don’t ask, i’m not telling!

:P) and i’m happy for this.

Looking at this situation, i think adera had do the same. she don’t like what she read and leave it and then clarify the situation whit Bonnie when she is involved again in it, nothing wrong in it. I’ll respect both of you girls for your decision (and not only for that, trust me!) but i think there is no need for you, Bonnie, to go on hiatus…..so back to us soon!

;D

[Bear]

Adera thank you, I had to back space my thoughts… since your posting beat me to this.

I laughed at the play, yet when I finished I honestly found myself troubled, and reread again because it was an unfamiliar and rather gnawing concern.

Knowing most this was truly,… a thread of light hearted intent,… it however touched some  very sensitive nerves due to it content.  I too did not read emotions nor feeling,…  and though qualified as an rp,… and I could only read it presented  as a non consensual act.

The topic of rape to me, is  something  I do not be taken in lightheartedness.

There is a second point also worthy of note. Many who practice the kink, do so with a very protective edge to the eye of image. They see themselves at an extreme in society and even in the VR world their practice holds to very patterned rigid standards. In my play I have had the panic word, (sign) given, sometimes on the something that seemed inconsequential. We would have to step back,… take our breath and allow things to settle. I didn't always get an explanation,  but I always was wise enough to know that I had breached a limit and stopped.

YES it is VR play, and in RP they can leave if they don't like it. But bound and helpless in RL,… you don't have that option. Events can happen which create some serious psychological shit.These are matters which can spill over into the VR realm of play. A word, an action,… it triggers memories of something which has gone askewed. Or in the worst case,… bound before a sadistic soul who has no intention of honoring those limits. It is to that last image that those of the kink tend to try to dispel. They see that as offensive,… a practice that breaches the etiquette of rigid code of behavior.  It is ok to be a sadist,… but never , ever breach your subjects limits or trust that you will honor those

They hold trust as a precious commodity. I think about it,… and I can see how they might think this thread to give their practice a very bad light.

It's late,.. I am rambling,… and to those involved I know you had no intent in creating a stir. Newgurl, I think you have been sensitive and sincere in your response on this, I hope the party offended understands that too. Hopefully we all learn something from this. Blu' I think your suggestion very wise and too agree this thread should be deleted in a week,.. keep it open at briefly for the community to share their thoughts then let it evaporate from memory.

I know all of us  want you back,.. we miss you…

[Lover]

Blue, Bear… as I understand your point of view in deleting this post I have another opinion.

I think it's better to keep it as a warning for us all. We are in a public forum even if we make a rp here. So we never may forget the possible effects of our thoughts to other ones.
Think twice before posting something (that also means answering to posts) and be as unique as possible, particularly if you're leaving the usual paths.

So my suggestion: Close it, yes. Delete it, no.

[Janine Dee]

Just as New had the right to post the consensual play Adera had the right to turn down the request to join it.

The tricky situation here is that there is no “right” to it.

[Adera]

I should have worded my reasons in a better way, as it is now I was unnecessary harsh which was uncalled for.

[Urban]

If i can understand the why somebody had been “shocked” by a RP post. Why the need of public apologies ?
It could have been better to settle this in private, close the tread if needed and start a new one with “softer” RP or same RP with some disclaimer.
Of course any RP involving somebody against her/his will must not exist.

[Bear]

Urban I agree with you, however  I think the fact it was someone who who did not come forward plays big in a public apology. I see NG reaching out in the only way possible at this point.

But this is not the first time this has happened. We are fortunate enough to have caring members who will take the moment to do the right thing and delete the offending matter.

I need to add a point, since the posting of room threads is relatively new. That I t be done in mutual consent,… and don't presume that just because you change a name the matter is ok… there is a danger of a name slipping by unintentionally. There too some people do not want their private play in the eyes of the public. Even nameless… they still see themselves there.

I know most will say that is obvious… but obvious may be lost on minority.

[Author]

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