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Ask Granny advice column (RP for all)

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The forums Everything about sex and love Ask Granny advice column (RP for all)

Viewing 14 posts - 46 through 59 (of 59 total)
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  • #144383
    FoxyRoxxy
    Participant

      welcome back Granny

      we missed you 

      yes  no questions  but you can still give us  advice on any think

      I just love to read what you have to say  you are awesome

      ;D

      #144384
      jingerbird
      Participant

        Hi Granny,
        Please help me again, I don't know what to do. My boyfriend has now decided that he prefers my car, Brad, to his own car, Angelina.

        Angelina and I are worried that this is the way of the future for him and we will be both left stranded with out our love.

        Help us Granny. Please help us. We don't know what to do, or how to win him back. That car of mine is way too sexy.

        Gratefully Jinger 

        #144385
        anniethyme
        Participant

          Dear Jingy,

          Win him back? Brad or your man? It's not a fight, dearie. And if he's this mercurial, he does not sound like a prize I'd want. Then again, this is the downside of Brad being too sexy, but who knew that your man would switch sides, as they say.

          A question to consider: Does Brad prefer your man? If so, just throw in the towel now. If not, we have options:

          1. Go for Angelina. Seeing if your man will notice this is a good test for his… preclusions. And she could probably use a woman's touch.
          8039abe49b55cc327c6a735805955556.jpg

          2. Take Brad to visit the mechanic. It would be a shame if some of Brad's parts aren't working right, or he breaks down often, iykwim.
          marco-212x300.jpg

          3. Trade-in Brad for a newer/older model. Yes, its unfortunate, but boys like Brad are only meant for a fling, rarely long lasting. I'm guessing your man would never touch this one:
          c4f455e9e5491eb1373a7a85f850800a.jpg

          Good luck dearie, keep me updated.

          Love
          Granny

          #144386
          FoxyRoxxy
          Participant

            Hi Granny

            tell me  what to do when you cant stand  the father of your  kid 

            not even to talk to him

            because he was a cheating bastard  LOSER

            dead beat  is never there for here when she needs  him  but is still  tacking the said of  his co cheating – hag

            but my kid thinks his some kind of super guy
            and I am keeping them apart..

            the hag thinks I might want him back 
            Omg thats so gross to even think I would take a crap  back after she had him…

            so tell me what  do I do to  control my  anger

            and  tell my kid the  I dont want him back over and over

            and his a  Shit head that I cant stand hiim with all my hate is  for him…

            but I do like all his family 

            Enraged 
            Foxy Roxy

            PS.
            hey  can you tell me what I can do to to that hag …
            and look like a lady  ;) still  ::)

            #144387
            anniethyme
            Participant

              Dear Foxy,

              I feel your pain. I have been in your shoes, and now you have to put up with the stink I left in them.

              But take heart, all is not lost:

              1. Don't talk to him. Write letters. Put them in the mailbox, it will take 2 days til it reaches his address, and 2 days til he can reply to you.
              Snail Mail:
              snailmail2.png

              2. Don't need him anymore. Get yourself any/all of the following:
              handyman.jpg and 949.jpg and 31ognpd8BpL._SX300_.jpg and point_d.jpg and c-string-vibe-panties-48-p.jpg

              3. For the hag, I would recommend voodoo dolls, but I used that dark magik on my neighbor once, and he died of a heart attack a few months later. So… just ignore her.
              businessman-voodoo-doll-giclee-print-c12350887.jpeg

              4. To release your anger:
              female-kickbox.jpg

              if that does not work, then join the Dark Side:
              JoinDarkside.jpg

              Hope some of this works!

              Love,
              Granny

              #144388
              anniethyme
              Participant

                Hey Haggy Boy,

                I found this ad for an item you may want to buy on email. For those parties you go to.
                http://mashable.com/2015/06/18/dildo-game-of-thrones-ebay/

                Dildo-Game-of-thrones.jpg

                Hope you win!

                Granny

                #144389
                FoxyRoxxy
                Participant

                  Dear Annie

                  I need some real help  what do you  do

                  if you are driving on the Hwy / road and you  get a flat tire

                  I dont know what to do  for reals  😮

                  #144390
                  Anonymous

                    one of my testicles hangs lower than the other, is that normal?

                    #144391
                    FoxyRoxxy
                    Participant

                      Dear Annie

                      same question but  why do some  boob why is one biger then the other 

                      Annnieeeeeeeeeeeeeee

                      where are you !

                      #144392
                      FoxyRoxxy
                      Participant

                        Dear Granny

                        Last night I had pizza before going to bed. I have nightmares when I eat late
                        so  I wake up and cant sleep now , I had this Nopal plant giving me life wisdom
                        on life and his  floating on water, following me wherever I go so  had to get up

                        Prickly_pear_cactus.png

                        I will not stop eating pizza  late !

                        But can you tell me the meaning  of this dream please

                        I have not seen you in some time  I hope you are ok  and come say hi  :)

                        #144393
                        anniethyme
                        Participant

                          Dear TG and Foxxy,

                          This is common. Not only does the internet say so, but Megan Trainor too.

                          I see the magazines working that Photoshop
                          We know that shit ain't real
                          Come on now, make it stop
                          If you got beauty beauty just raise 'em up
                          'Cause every inch of you is perfect
                          From the bottom to the top

                          giphy.gif

                          And if you're still worried… look on the bright side… your partner will have two sizes to choose from, or enjoy both!

                          Love,
                          Granny

                          #144394
                          anniethyme
                          Participant

                            Dear Foxy,

                            Thanks for your concern, dearie. Granny also has weird dreams when she eats or has sugar right before bed, but hers involve George Hamilton dressed up like an extra crispy Colonel Sanders and feeding her purple chicken legs by hand in the middle of a turkish bath.

                            [img]http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/snnMBEv3uQrtBCDAQA9qSQ–/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3NfbGVnbztxPTg1O3c9NDUx/http://media.zenfs.com/en/homerun/feed_manager_auto_publish_494/d6791f8dd704c5f65527b81fb233efd1[/img]
                            A hunk-a burning chicken love!

                            Anyhoo,
                            Some boys I know had a similar dream from eating desert desserts. Maybe their journey will inspire you to figure out your own:
                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKYUz7kx3jA

                            tumblr_m6z0locgJl1rvw0t5o1_400.gif

                            Good luck!
                            Granny

                            p.s.

                            (Dream spoiler below)


                            basically, you want to have sex with Rob Zombie.


                            Enjoy!

                            #144395
                            FoxyRoxxy
                            Participant

                              Omg

                              Dear Granny so nice to see you still around  ..
                              for a for a mint I thought you crooked and passed on

                              As I see you have resurrected and came back to us on Achat

                              so Glad  are you back and yes  can see you having hot steamy  dreams of  George Hamilton  ;D

                              #144396
                              anniethyme
                              Participant

                                Guess who's back?

                                Guess who's back, back again
                                Granny's back, tell a friend
                                Guess who's back, guess who's back?
                                Guess who's back, guess who's back?
                                Guess who's back, guess who's back?
                                Guess who's back?

                                Nah nah Ah.

                                Everybody only wants to discuss me
                                So this must mean I'm disgusting
                                But it's just me I'm just obscene
                                Cuz it's been so empty without me.

                                giphy.gif

                                So…

                                throw me your questions, biches!

                                cool-granny-is-back-with-some-more-epic-instagram-photos-6.jpg

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