Confine kinky or vanilla topics – BDSM yes or no?

[hentaiboy69]

Two old Ladies?

never had seen pafe and Satoire as old….just as two wonderful ladies! 

I think if we try and segregate we alienate.

I think we all agree on this, little Blue……

[Brandybee]

I don't want to alienate anyone nor make them feel dirty , nor ashamed of their likes or dislikes.   If a person is interested in a certain fettish, then I want the Forum to be informative and helpful and for members to explore this new territory.

Janine's dungeon was and still is  a  great source of information for me. And members always answered my questions and tolerated my vanillaness. 

I don't want people to feel segregated either.

The best explanation perhaps I can give is a classic example  …  way back when the fantasy bar – The Achat Bar & Grill  affectionately known as the AB&G  was first forming and establishing itself, a story line was born which was fun to be involved in… 

to cut along story short,  Bear found himself bound and a well known game in the BDSM world of tease & deny began…  to some it was just part of their kink, to others it was shocking abuse…. 

Anyway, it quickly came apparent that  Vanilla's did not get it and were not posting any more, or the vanilla's who did  post, did not see the seriousness that members of the kink gave this game..  and it seemed both sides were being offended, without meaning to.

ChristinaK and I realized this situation luckily and found a happy compromise  and a BDSM dungeon  The Ice House was created.

Vanilla's and BDSM members were both catered for and I believe is the reason both Topics are so successful. 

Tangoracer &  I  have purposefully kept The Ice House for members who enjoy the BDSM kink and to own a dungeon in there is by invite only.  The story lines and topics do cross over but essentially everyone knows the kind of play in the Ice House is dungeon related.

The AB&G tends to be the vanilla and more naughty soft BDSM play – The Ice House caters for the more severe play.

As forum is growing, we mods are lucky in that most members who recognize that  their posts or stories could cause offence have volunteered to contact us and have posted a relevant warning, whether that be BDSM or Age Play and we are grateful  that such members are respectful and sensitive to others.

As such,  we would like this to continue and formalize this thoughtfulness.   

The idea was to use an exclamation mark and  perhaps  Mrsexlover's  banner  to high light to members that here is a post or Topic or story line that could cause offence. Read on at your own discretion  or don't at all. 

This was the basis for starting this topic and if any members feel they are being segregated or made to feel dirty, then that was never our intention and I would like to offer my sincere apologies if we offended you or made you feel  belittled in anyway –  that includes members of the BDSM kink and Vanilla's alike.

We would like equal respect be shown to all Kinks, Fetishes & Vanilla's  ( TOS & Laws permitting, ie We will not tolerate peadophilia or beastiality but I think most know that )

Your views are sought therefore on the exclamation mark and warning banner &  warning captions preceding the relevant posts and to ensure all tastes can be catered for without losing members.

It is not a personal attack on our kink members, its how best we can all work together. 

Our Forum Village is the best in the world and we wish for that to continue.  Your views  are appreciated.

So I will post a question for voting …  the decision of our members will decide how you wish us to identify such posts or not.   I just need to post a question that  adequately describes what we are trying to do.  Bear with me 

ok, here it is …

Should Extreme sexual type play be identified (   !  –  Exclamation Mark  /  Banner / Warning Caption ) to warn readers of its content ?

YES. IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO WARN READERS  THE POST MAY HAVE CONTENT THAT COULD CAUSE OFFENCE

NO,  THERE IS NO NEED FOR ANY WARNINGS AT ALL

I DON'T REALLY CARE EITHER WAY.

Definition of Extreme Pornagraphic play  –    graphically portraying scenes of degradation, sexual violence, torture, murder, necrophilia or bestiality for the purposes of sexual arousal. 

NB –  the latter 2 –  necrophilia and bestiality are against TOS and will not be tolerated.

Depending on the story line,  murder will be judged on its merit.

[Momma_andrea]

DANGER, WILL ROBINSON

[Lover]

“You are leaving the secure sector now!”

 

I'm sure everyone knows or least believes all we want to have is a place, everyone is feeling welcome. There is enough room for all kinds of sex play. We are a growing village and each of us will have his own house and we also have our market place, zoo and bar to meet and have fun together.

I also say, the limits between kinky and vanilla sex are blurred. In special mood  I also like to tie or be tied for example. Most of us have tried the bdsm poses, even if it was just for fun and curiousity. Vice versa too – as Andrea said, bdsm lovers also play vanilla.

What is our intention? We are asking for a signpost. You're standing on a crossroad and are looking for bdsm – you look and know “ah, this house is for bdsm lovers” or “ok, this house is for vanilla friends”.

The “Fantasies and Fetishes” board is a good board for it of course. And I also want to have more boards including it – “Erotic Stories” has several threads including bdsm and I don't want to move them. They are erotic stories and belong to this board. Poses for bdsm, added poses and also existing ones, belong to “Discussions about sex” and have to stay there.

All we want is everyone knowing with one view “this is (boring ) vanilla, this is exciting bdsm, or least harder sex.

The message icon is a first idea – it's easy to add to new and existing topics and everyone can use it. Perhaps it's enough – perhaps we get more/better ideas.
To make this forum a home for everyone.

[sexilicious]

Just a few thoughts on this topic.

I can see both points in this discussion. Then again I always try to see both sides of the story as best as I can.

On one hand, Blue and Andrea are looking more at the labeling that would occur to the forum. I can see the downfall in that. As we all know the Ice House and AB&G are two of the most hottest topics in the forum. If we start labeling would we then have to stop the natural flow of some of the little things we do in these places because we “might” offend others? I know my mind can go here there and yonder and if it flows why stop and post elsewhere.

Also another thing that I know from work is that the more signs there are the less likely the people will read them. If we start putting up signs all over due to the fetish we want. People will stop seeing the warning sign especially for those of us who are used to going to those areas. Say one day we go to an area that contained some lets say blood play since it was brought up. The sign would do nothing for us and we would end up freaked out, shocked, or whatever the case might be.

On the other hand, having something to make the people aware of the content is good. In a lot of stories out on the web, they will post some of the content that can be found in that story. Whether it helps people to find certain stories or to warn the readers that hey this might not be the story you want to read.

A lot of times people will read the beginning and see if it is something they want to read and if it doesn't take hold and make them read more they stop. So suggestion. Maybe when there is any kind of play. Just a quick jot at the beginning stating what could be found. Can even give a vanilla one too. So say Martin and I were playing and I ended up just jumping on him and having fun nothing kinky just plain vanilla. We could say VANILLA at the top before out post. Other times Tango has tied up HB just to have fun but that was it so they could put ROPE BONDAGE at the top of theirs. This way people will know the content before reading and can decide if they want to read the loving going on between the individuals in this play.

Every person on here has a different past, so each person has a different mind function on what is SAFE. Whether on forum or even on GAME, people tend to feel unsafe at times. They will deal with it differently. Some could clam up and stop talking, maybe they disappear offline, or whatever the case may be because they are no longer safe. They have felt threatened or brought up HUGE reminders of their past. I know me sometimes once I read some things or if a certain topic is brought up it is so hard for me to talk or deal with it cause it isn't easy.

The main thing everyone needs to remember is that each one of us is unique and different. We are all special. Whatever the case may be for the forum in the future. The biggest thing we can do is treat one another with as much love and encouragement as we can. This forum is a family so we look out for one another. Someone gets hurt we will be there if they let us. Someone has good news, we listen and celebrate. OK so probably sidetracked off the main point a couple times but that is me lol my mind always jumps.

[Covems]

I've avoided posting in this discussion, perferring to soak in everyone's view points on the matter.

Everyone makes a solid point.  But I have to agree with Pafe ( heheh… they are old ladies    )… the Forum has worked just fine the way it is… it's not broken… so let's not try and fix it… and  Miss Sexilicious is correct… I always ignore signs and just charge ahead…

We all have our own definition of “Extreme”… just as we all have our own definition of “Vanilla”…  my encounters with Eva for instance… some may consider a romp with Robot Girl to be “Extreme”… I however consider a romp with her to be very “vanilla”.

My devil's advocate question is:  “Will there be labels or warnings in the Erotic Story Contest?” 
Second part to the question:  “Who will be the one to determine what warning goes on which story?”

I would like to say one thing on my little soap box… I would like to congratulate the Moderators for the great job they've been doing.  They saw something that concerned them, and instead of a knee jerk reaction, they brought it up for a discussion, and are now allowing us, the members of the Forum, to decide.  Thank you.

[Pafe]

Hiya's…

Pafe,
Thank you for your understanding. Two old Ladies? Surely not, you are as young as Achat makes you feel. I've even started looking at boudoir shoes myself, lol.

  Thank you Bluedenim… but right now this is making me feel like I'm 130 years old.

I have to agree with Pafe ( heheh… they are old ladies    )

  LOL!!!  I love you Covems… you can always make me laugh.

I would like to say one thing on my little soap box… I would like to congratulate the Moderators for the great job they've been doing.  They saw something that concerned them, and instead of a knee jerk reaction, they brought it up for a discussion, and are now allowing us, the members of the Forum, to decide.  Thank you.

  I want to second that.  Thank you moderators for everything you do here in our Village.

The main thing everyone needs to remember is that each one of us is unique and different. We are all special. Whatever the case may be for the forum in the future. The biggest thing we can do is treat one another with as much love and encouragement as we can. This forum is a family so we look out for one another. Someone gets hurt we will be there if they let us. Someone has good news, we listen and celebrate. OK so probably sidetracked off the main point a couple times but that is me lol my mind always jumps.

  Thank you Sexi… That's one of the many reasons I love this Forum Village and all of the people in it. 

  Just so you know… I voted:  No.

Thanks for letting me share,
Pafe

[jayc]

Everybody has made valid points, and im with the people who say “why fix whats not broke” but i am fine with the simple eclamation point as a warning and we have labeled our serial story with one. and i would like to say i am proud of this forum amd its members, where being kind and civil to each other and inteligent debate is the norm.

[Brandybee]

My devil's advocate question is:  “Will there be labels or warnings in the Erotic Story Contest?” 
Second part to the question:  “Who will be the one to determine what warning goes on which story?”

I would like to say one thing on my little soap box… I would like to congratulate the Moderators for the great job they've been doing.  They saw something that concerned them, and instead of a knee jerk reaction, they brought it up for a discussion, and are now allowing us, the members of the Forum, to decide.  Thank you.

Thank you Forum Members – it's why I love you all.

I think the message is coming through loud and clear – to leave things as they are 

So be it,    :-*

Cove,

In answer to your  Devil questions…  its me – The Contest Manager –  with the tarnished halo 
As most of the mods usually enter the Contest, I am not able to discuss  other entrant's  stories with them.

But my rules are pretty simple –  No Necrophilia, no Paedophilia and no Bestiality.  Fantasy animals and hybrid humans are ok though eg Were wolves, Dragon girls      They simply would not make the contest and the author told and the reason why by PM.

There will not be any labels, it may give someone an unfair advantage or disadvantage.  If folks don't like, they wont vote for it.

Talking of which  …. I WANT MORE STORIES    

Forum  Home Page >  Organisations & Events >Contests > EROTIC CONTEST 5 NOW OPEN  https://funnyadultgamesplay.com/forum/index.php/topic,2513.0.html     and

Forum  Home Page >  Organisations & Events >Contests > EROTIC  STORY CONTEST  RULES  https://funnyadultgamesplay.com/forum/index.php/topic,2509.0.html

[Brandybee]

Cheap ?  ?  ?     Baby …  you have no idea… 

I WANT A STORY OFF YOU TOO         :-*

[Lover]

Thanks for all comments in this thread, big thanks for having a real discussion, no off topic and no personal attacks or insults. We like to accept your nice words about us mods – and you all made it easy to manage it. This is exactly what I love – a wonderful discussion, exchange of opinions and arguments and getting a common decision which everyone is accepting.

The poll will be open few days more – but atm the result is unique. I didn't vote because I started the topic, asking if we shoul do it or not. So if there won't be a big surprise, we won't have any labels.
Which also means, everyone may use the exclamation point or add a warning – but no one has to. Also the explamation mark is not a unique sign for bdsm or harder play – it can be used as you want.

We don't close the topic, perhaps just change name in near future. So we can use it to discuss different kinds of kinky/vanilla, even extreme sex (whatever this means).

Just one last word to our old ladies: I'm gald you're old – at least old enough to be in AChat
No one, absolutely no one has to apologize for starting a discussion (and it wasn't you alone, I already told you). We are a big family and we have to be able (and we are) to talk about everything. 

I love my relatives here (ok, not as much as I love Marilyn ) and it's a nature's thing some will go and new will come. But today, I can't imagine to be without anyone of you.

[Stone]

I have read this topic several times and personally have no problem putting a warning sign, caption, or exclamation sign on a story that could cause offence on any story whether I am involved in it or not.  Jayc &  I have put an exclamation mark on our Tudor Rose story.

I am personally grateful that Tangoracer and ChrisinaK  did on their Ice House dungeon posts, because although I enjoy some BDSM  I knew what to expect when I continued to read. 

I don't think that there is a need to segregate anyone however,  and  a caption is enough to warn readers, no matter what section of the board the particular post is in.

[bluedenim]

So, somebody tell me, is the issue decided and closed or are we going to be turning it over and over and over because the answer wasn't what one (or maybe more) person wanted?

If a post is from the Ice House/Dungeon it's not likely to be”vanilla”, I thought we were all intelligent enough to grasp that.
If an erotic story has BDSM (what a lot of topics that 4-letter acronym seems to cover!) it tells us in the intro.
Don't post where you aren't supposed to seems to be a simple enough rule, but I've followed a link here from a new post, so I'm confused.

Have there been examples of “severe” or “hard” BDSM postings or writings turning up in unexpected places and complaints being raised or people upset? I must have missed them.

[hentaiboy69]

i think the question is closed, Blue…..it's up to the one who post what to do

[Brandybee]

Forum have spoken, no one wanted to be segregated nor have official type  warning captions on their stories or posts.

Writers decide themselves what kind of warning to include.

You are right,  the topics mentioned are BDSM and therefore that kink is expected there already.

Things stay as they are.

Enjoy, I look forward to your stories. 

[Author]

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