Illogical Assumptions People Had As Kids

[jayc]

i came across this article where people wrote the funny assumptions they had as children  and thought it might make a good topic here. This was my favorite from the article.

Besides 2 regular bathrooms, my family also had a water closet but nobody liked to use it because once you sat down on the toilet there was barely enough room to close the door. I genuinely believed that the toilet had feelings and felt lonely and inadequate because no one liked using it. So to make it feel better I made sure to use it once a day and usually sang to it while I sat there.

So i will kick it off with one of mine 

In the 1st grade we would recite the Pledge of allegiance every morning, hands on heart and looking at the flag.

I Pledge Allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic
for which it stands,
one Nation under God,
indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.

I thought the line  “for which it stands” was  “for witches stands” and thought of the wicked witch of the west from the Wizard of Oz. every morning, till my sister straightened me out   

[FoxyRoxxy]

I still recite the Pledge of allegiance every now and then when  I am volunteering
in our local school  feels  good to still do this…

When I was small and came to a American school, I felt so strange  my mother would  fix my lunch her way ,  it was
not like typical Americans lunches where it was a apple  sandwich and milk , My mom packed my lunch as if I was going away a week
she  had added  good food but she added a lot twinkies  and sweets all the good thing kids like  ….well out that I guess it was a good  thing I had made so many friends out that     
I was never alone at lunch time 

Thanks Mom  I love you

[tangoracer]

When I was small my dad always said   “His lost his head”  Meaning his lost his temper 

I always thought the guy's head had fallen off  LOL 

[Momma_andrea]

When I was like 4 or 5, I thought  factory smoke stacks were “Cloud Making Machines”.

[Anonymous]

For the longest time I always assumed that Cats were all Female, and dogs were all Male, and when they bred, they'd have foxes and cougars and the like… Till I turned 5, and realize that Santa wasn't real either. Haha…

Naughty boy – Frowning Brandybee

[Peeka]

I don't know until when I believed that, but as a kid I thought that when it stated on a chocolate paste pot “5000 mounatin bikes to win, just send “keyword” to this adress”, I would win them all.
And smart enough I would then think “yay! I'll keep one for me and the family, and sell the other 4996” 

[Lover]

When I was a little boy, I had to sneak into my brother's room and listen to his records secret. The music my parents wee listening to was really urrgh My brother listened to english music and though I didn't understand a word, I loved it.
I grabbed this one special record, listened and was wooow!!! Great music and, I couldn't believe it, it was a german band (so I thought). I saw the names – Paul (german name lol), George (another german name), John and Ringo.

Much later I found out, The Beatles are not a german band. But I didn't mind, I fell in love with their music

[jingerbird]

I used to think that there was a tiny person that lived inside the refrigerator. I thought that he sat there and switched the light on and off. I used to open the door really fast to see if I could catch him. My Dad put a tiny hat in the fridge once and made me think it belonged to the man. I was almost 7 when I realised. I was tall enough to reach the button and pressed in by mistake. 

[leighdeexxx]

In the Black community you hear allot of funny sayings, that as a child can be very mystifying to a child.
Such as a friend of mine,  parents telling her and her siblings if they didn't stop they (parents) would knock their heads off and make them go find them.  used to ask them, “wow what could you have done that bad your parents are going to make you find your lost heads???”

[DexMandrake]

JC … your post is excellent! 
So sweet that you sang to the toilet!
And “for witches stands” … is simply brilliant!
~  Dex

[Brandybee]

Talking about mishearing lyrics …

I kept hearing Last Christmas –  by  Wham, when it first came out,  liked it and learnt the words due to its repetitive  playing on the radio…

Should be

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.

What I thought it was and very often still sing it

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year
To Semi-Frontiers
I'll give it to someone special.

I thought it was a Star Trek / space love song …  Dohhh

I never could understand when I eventually saw  the video what skiing on a mountain had to do with space…

I still think my version is better….   lol 

Wham! – Last Christmas    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI

[jingerbird]

I thought that Cliff Richard was singing about his 'Disco Bunny'

'Disco Bunny why we don't talk anymore'

Made perfect sense to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1wdAoSulm8'

[Author]

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