Interesting Interaction i had with a person on Achat.

[kittenlepurr]

This person was under the distinct impression that i am solely focusing on him when i have a few other people that are already on my friends list talking to me and getting incensed about it.
After they leave I talk with him more (We talk about ourselves abit about interests etc). Then he jumps directly into an rp … I work out what he is doing when he says a line of how I (meaning me) would react to something so i call him on it.
Conveying to him i was under the impression we were still having a conversation not rping because i didnt say i was interested in starting one.

We talk about my ethnic background and from there some places we have visited and our opinions on it.
After that he does a blatant flirt so i respond because a few of the options presented i like so he sends and invite (without my ok) I tabbed out thinking an invite was on the way so I close the other programs i have open to accept one and tell him why i missed it.

He then reiterates his solely focusing on me … and i indicate from my perspective that i have been solely focusing on him but what i had open on websites which was my email and also my scheduling program. (Just to check what i have on for later on today and when i should go to sleep)

Him being insulted from his pov indicates he is pissed and says that he could use words that i would know. I acknowledge that but convey my opinion on this and the fact that like him throughout the conversation i have been declining invites like he has.

He goes offline.
I send a message to him conveying that even if he did insult me it would just be him venting his anger which is good but words would never under any circumstances insult me they are just text.
The message was still sent after i realised he was offline.

So I am wondering people what are your opinions on this? did i do the right thing ? is he over reacting? all opinions welcome.

ps: for the person involved that i was talking to I have withheld his name to prevent embarrassment on his part. And the above is to explain my point of view on the situation.

[Bear]

Names should never be dragged thru the mud here IMO..

He over reacted kiten'.

When invites are sent… and expire they are messaged as a rejection… but the why's is not important if you ask for the re-invite.
I never presume I am the one and only in chat…and my friends shouldn't either.

[hentaiboy69]

What can i say…….this person have to drink some tisana to calm his nervs! i don't think u have done something wrong, kitten, miss an invite can happend!
the point is why he go out of controll for this…..is he thinking u are at his feet!? peoples sometimes are crazy!

[kittenlepurr]

Names should never be dragged thru the mud here IMO..

He over reacted kiten'.

When invites are sent… and expire they are messaged as a rejection… but the why's is not important if you ask for the re-invite.
I never presume I am the one and only in chat…and my friends shouldn't either.

Its why i didnt put his name up he could be having a bad night etc. Why penalise him for that. I didnt say to him for a re-invite i implied it more then straight say it.  I never assume i am when i am chatting.

What can i say…….this person have to drink some tisana to calm his nervs! i don't think u have done something wrong, kitten, miss an invite can happend!
the point is why he go out of controll for this…..is he thinking u are at his feet!? peoples sometimes are crazy!

Ty Hentai boy that is a good question but its really just confusing and silly from my perspective.

[Adera]

Did the invite just come from the blue? If so he can't expect you to accept it at all.

He's asking for a huge commitment and then getting overly sensitive about it when your telling him the truth… he's taking it way too serious.

I would have a hard time wanting to play with such a partner again, seems like far to much drama and whining.

When I'm online I like chatting to my friends so if there's many online I do and if it's slow paced I will surf the web at the same time, there's no way I'm going to sit idly for a minute or two waiting for an answer.

[hentaiboy69]

When I'm online I like chatting to my friends so if there's many online I do and if it's slow paced I will surf the web at the same time, there's no way I'm going to sit idly for a minute or two waiting for an answer.

well, Adera, u can be surprise about a boy i know here….sometimes he wait for me for more then an hour……well, he tell this.

[Adera]

Have happened to me as well, ignored him and he came after me with a female account so I had to ignore that as well.

[Bear]

Likewise Adera … when things are slow I do the same… and I agree it sounds as if the situation might have evolved into a drama filled relationship.

Guess you can be thankful Kitten it reared its ugly head at an early stage.

During the day I sometimes pop in when waiting for email responses, or on a short break. Phone calls or visitors are a given…

I you need a moment… proper etiquette would be to let your partner know…. even if the invite is on the screen… then ask for the resend. His behavior should be of understanding … and patience to for the moment to be right.

*takes off his “dear Abby” wig.*

[kittenlepurr]

Did the invite just come from the blue? If so he can't expect you to accept it at all.

He's asking for a huge commitment and then getting overly sensitive about it when your telling him the truth… he's taking it way too serious.

I would have a hard time wanting to play with such a partner again, seems like far to much drama and whining.

When I'm online I like chatting to my friends so if there's many online I do and if it's slow paced I will surf the web at the same time, there's no way I'm going to sit idly for a minute or two waiting for an answer.

yes it did like i said i didnt prompt the invite so it did come out of the blue. I tend to chant to my friends as well.

its really a moot point now i do not forsee a time where i will ever talk to him again anyway.

[TightFit74]

Well, everything that needed to be said, was said already. I can only get in queue with Bear, Adera and Hentaiboy. I think your friend over reacted.

I must say that for some people it is easier to get fixated on one person and having a good time once can mean they focus on that person completely.
Dealing with such an infatuation isn't easy as I have found out myself. An invite out of the blue from a friend,  is still an invite without consent and one I wouldn't accept either.
I think you have been clear in your intentions and expectations towards this person and it would have been nice if he accept4ed your explanation and left it at that, instead of feeling hurt about it.
I too have several other applications open when I am online, closing when someone gets my attention, familiar or new.. In the end, almost noone here talks to one person only. Almost everyone has more friends they talk to. Sometimes it is a slow night (day, morning, evening), sometimes too many to give the attention to that they deserve. That should be a given and therefor accepted. If someone can't handle that, they should consider why they are online here.

[Adera]

I think he should've asked you before sending an invite like that it's the polite thing to do.

It could be only an infatuation though to me it's bordering to S&M, it's as if he wants a submissive girl who is at his beck and call at all the time and giving him undivided attention. Imo a master/mistress in such an relationship should be strong, dependable and calm… not sensitive and whiny.

[Unhealer]

I have a really hard time with them. All of the mistresses on here speak broken english whether its their first language or not. I feel like im in the dominant position when I have linguistic superiority.

[Adera]

If I start to feel superior mentally to a dom the dom will cease to be a true master/mistress for me anymore, he/she doesn't have to be smarter than me, it's more a thing of class, calm, articulation and maybe some wit.

I'm not saying I'm overly picky but some that claim to be mistresses I would have trouble treating the way they'd like to be treated.

I know from Janine that BDSM involves lots but some parts of it I find to crude or rowdy to involve well defined dom and sub roles and when it looses what I see as a dom it's hard to think of it as real BDSM.

[Unhealer]

meh i made a 30some year old chick at work have an emotional breakdown because she was so out of her league, she seems like a dominant person too. when I dont even have to try its a little pathetic

[TightFit74]

Within the subject of the thread, imho people should always hold certain aspects of conduct in mind at all times.
“Be treated as you like to be treated yourself” which to me is the simplest but most applicable rule there is. The second should be “Do as you please as long as you don't bother anyone else with it”.

The last rule has worked wonders for Holland over the past 4-5 centuries and it is an adagium that I hold onto myself. Show some respect, treat the one on the other side of the conversation as a friend, a person, a human. Instead of a dick or cunt on legs (excuse my language).

[Author]

Posts