Interesting Interaction i had with a person on Achat.

[kittenlepurr]

best way to deal with people on her in some cases is to remember you are playing on a game. friendships that organically build are good but the ones that people assume on one side are more because they have no idea of the concept.

personally i am friendly to everyone. When people are rude to me either ignore or dont tolerate it.

In this situation i descibed it was a mix of misinterpretation and being at least on oneside unreasonable.
but the point remains.

The person related to this has since apologised

[hentaiboy69]

If he apologize, it's a good step forward….probably he understand about how his reaction was rella absurde!

[kittenlepurr]

yeah i was gracious i told him i accepted his apology.

[Janine Dee]

The problem as I see it as a whole is that there is tone, even to purely textual communication, BUT it lacks so many of the organic things like verbal tone and pitch and body language, that the potential for misinterpretation increases exponentially.

Then there is the good old fashioned potential for misinterpretation that just comes from any kind of communication. Which can also include personal prejudices. (People tend to assume you agree with them unless you deliberately express otherwise.)

So the potential for misunderstandings is quite high. Still, there was an apology so I see it as a all's well that ends as such.

On the BDSM, the first person a Dom, that is worthy of the title, learns to Dominate is themselves. If you can not control yourself you are not ready to control another.

The main problem is the gulf between the perception of Dominance and the reality. While you LOOK like you are in total control, the control belongs to the submissive and you are using it at THEIR discretion. The problem is that those who don't get the idea seem to think that reality isn't as fun, and it's both sides.

I have had submissives, both in real life and in AChat who just figured they would lay back and I would somehow just “know” because I was the Mistress and Mistress knows.

What Mistress truly knows is that she has no real tolerance for that nonsense.

The problem for Dominants who can't grasp the reality of the situation is like people are saying, people have to CHOOSE to obey you. There is no magical power to it. You need to earn their trust, their respect, and their submission, but again, that just doesn't seem like as much fun.

Still, in anything you do it's those who don't want to put in the effort that spoil things for those who do.

[kittenlepurr]

very true Janine its mainly the following people insert tone they think matches to what people say.

misinterpretations happen its one of the main reasons why i use emotes (like or inserted text) to show reactions because its the best way to convey the tone or the body language i am using in the chat.

there is also the fact that these interactions can be interpreted differently depending on the person involved what their emotional state is at the time and other factors. All I can say though is i try not to be misinterpreted by being as clear as possible. (which sadly can make people think many things from either me insulting to agreeing or others)

Personally Janine Dee I am more sub/versatile then dom/versatile as a person sexually. But you are right its a question of people have no method of real control in this type of thing … even in webcams is the same thing as some people have experienced and i have to which is why i dont do it anymore. (people ordering you around and thinking you owe them is tiresome and wrong it kills the fun of the webcam and there is other factors why i dont but thats one of the main ones)

Unfortunately I had to end up putting him on the ignore list for him saying to me to many random questions that i felt was inappropriate, rude and was very much the how dare you thing. Not to mention he kept on calling me by an abreviiation of my name in that i didnt actually like and told him first. So yeah unfortunately a bad end but i can live with it.

Nor should you have tolerance for nonsense .. I personally don't either.

very true trust is very important unfortunately people fail to work that out frequently in an online situation where trust needs to be built much like in real life it does its just a slower process.

The thing i have found however when it comes to these things is if there is equal effort its much better for both of us. Frequently i have found some partners in this do not keep the two way going either by not talking or talking too much and telling you how you react (big no-no for me).

They need to take into account there is the actual need for both sides to enjoy the experience to come back so if its not two way expect the other to be very very very bored and may leave for more fun elsewhere.

[kittenlepurr]

I had to eventually block him because of various reasons. So yes a sad end but unfortunately thats what happens when you already tow the line on someone to the point where they consider you not worth talking to you at all.

[Janine Dee]

Sorry it turned out that way. Sorry, but not surprised. To freak out because they weren't your center of attention?… My Domme Sense told me they probably weren't the most stable of individuals.

And yeah, the trust is literally the line between Risk Aware Consensual Kink, and actual abuse.

[Adera]

Too bad it is that it had to turn out like that though it's probably for the best.

[Bear]

Well simply as a seasoned veteran here…  my gut reaction was simply over reaction on his part. … until one finds a strong  connection of intimacy, presumption of being a single focal point of interest is rather delusional. Indeed though, this initial reaction suggested nothing other than headaches down stream.

Reading Janine's and Kitten's comments, I personally feel that is true of any form of descriptive play here. The ability to relay your actual mental reaction to the situation is critical just for your partners understanding. I rely on it… that mental image/ physical reaction  of turn on to my actions , or bland satisfaction…guess this is a redundant echo confirming what has been said.

As to telling them what they feel… rather presumptuous, true… when I am with certain familiar close partners I know in some cases how they react…I might wrap imagination around that presumption of that knowledge. Though I would never… never assume that, unless something hints of their excitement already in motion. That is why communication is paramount.

[islandsun]

Had 2 friends go gaga on me ! One even timed me in room w someone else  ! and was mad I spent more time , then w him !
omg thats freaky

[kittenlepurr]

very freaky …

[Bear]

Guess he needs to learn better control… 

[West69]

In the specific situation it sounds like your response was very understanding and diplomatic.

As a general comment, some of us have been on here for just a few days and are really stumbling around. I am not computer literate which makes it worse. I have no idea how to talk to more than one person at a time and get nervous trying to respond to an incoming greeting,because I don't want to make someone wait and insult them. In addition, I have inadvertently pushed the invite after receiving no response in a chat question because I didn't know if the person on the other end received my message, or I was having satellite connection problems.

Can anybody please tell me if you have a “policy and procedure manual”. Kind of an “AChat for Dummies”? I just learned what an emoticon was today.
Also, I don't text in real life so half the time have to ask the person what “brb” or “ty” means. At least my screw-ups usually result in a lot of “lols”
In the interim: I AM ISSUING EVERYONE A BLANKET APOLOGY IF MY IGNORANCE ON THIS GAME HAS INADVERTENTLY OFFENDED YOU. :-[ :-[ :-[

[Bear]

Welcome West'… I can relate to yur situation…

as to text lingo start here:

[img]http://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php[/img]

might help as a bookmarked source if wondering…

Multi-chatting takes time to get use to… but practice lessens it… so don't get too wordy in responses…and a courteous quick “ty but busy… may we chat latter?” often works beautifully, while u get the hang of things… and I have found many times appreciated.
If heading off to room… while in multi chat,.. at least say good bye to someone you are interested in… having a conversation and suddenly receiving a roomed notification is slightly rude  in my opinion.

[kittenlepurr]

ty West … some people cant take hints or just are not understand.

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