Meeting in a real life

[vip561]

I was just wondering if anyone has met someone in real life because of achat?
If so how was the experience was it everything you hoped for?

[Eugen]

Hello, everyone.

Since chatting in Achat is not topic-restricted, it makes no technical problems to propose your partner to meet in a real life.

Have anybody done that? Did it work out?

Now, as a general rule — Achat is a fun game, and it's fun because of your anonymosity. So, is it OK for you, if your partner suggests you a meeting in a real-life — say, over a cup of tea in a cafe? Would you consider such a proposal seriously, or would it make you irritated as an outing attempt, and possibly make you to add that person to your ignore list?

Thanks for any answer.

[Avalucia]

I would not. This is my escape from real life to live out my fantasies. However, if I were… less attached in my life, I might consider it if I felt very comfortable with the person in question.

[Bear]

I myself have never pushed the issue and have resisted any pushing it on me. I know of a handful who have, and none that turned out well, so seriously don't expect it.

[Ardeur]

When you interact with people here or on AChat, you get to see a part of people they might not (readily) show IRL. You're also looking at an avatar, which may be an approximation of their real body, but just as likely can be an approximation of their inner ideal form. Then there's chemistry, which is nothing like personality. Online you may mesh as if you're soulmates, but if the chemistry or spark isn't there it's very likely you won't ever be more then best friends with no benefits at all.

Personally I keep AChat separated from the rest of my life, for the reasons mentioned above and also because your partner may be a great actor that turns out to be a creep you can't get rid of with a bullwhip and pesticide… Anonymity is generally good protection in environments such as AChat and a wise thing to maintain nowadays. 

[kittenlepurr]

Afraid not I would not meet with people in real life i met with on here. Happy to play with but i would prefer to keep a degree of separation between here and out there.

[SueCB]

A while back, way before AChat, I did, and more than once. Sexually it was about as mixed bag as it gets, and mostly the guys aren't near as studly and long-enduring semen-sprayers like they can be here. (LMAO) But on all counts it was an emotional FAIL. Yeah, a lot of that was me and where my head was at at the time and that stuff about opposites attracting might work for magnets, but if you're in a bad place emotionally, likely that's what you're going to attract. Or at least the kind of guy that can sense that and prey on it.

So the odds of getting burned are pretty damn high. I'm not just singling guys out here either, there's more than enough women out to play games too. Anyway, it sure as hell changed at how I am online and being careful, not only with the whole meet in real issue, but with things like phone (or Skype) and cam too.

On the other hand, I know some that did it and it was great for them. It's a lot rarer, but I've seen it happen, and God bless them for finding something special in a unlikely place and setting. So while the odds are pretty close to 100% I won't do the virtual to real thing again, you never know. But one thing for sure, there'll be a shitload of hurdles for him to jump before he's even close to the finish line.

So okay, say you're going to go ahead and take the big leap. Be smart about it, meet someplace public (discreet maybe if you have to, but public). Have a drink, or dinner, whatever. If it doesn't seem right, you can smile, thank them and bail. I can tell you for certain you don't want to be in some motel room and find out that your online stud is really Freddy Kruger. Not unless you like high stress environments and have a conceal/carry permit and a 9mm you know how to use and are willing to.

Just my two cents, and God forbid any of you got to learn some of those lessons the hard way.

[chasxxx]

Personally, I like/need at least a minimal connection for even a virtual tryst. At least a few words exchanged before the invite. I'm excited about the “Cafe” pose I read about in another thread. THAT would be cool! Even a coffee shop for group meetings! Oops, carried away again. I have met several people from on-line in the past (early to late 90's) and a few more recently. Some became good friends. Others, well “Fatal Attraction” comes to mind. Just be careful if you must and meet in neutral territory, and follow SueCB's suggestions (esp abt the 9mm lol). That said, my sister met a guy on a poetry website, divorced her husband (that part was underway, anyway), flew to the UK to meet him, got married and lived happily ever after, so far.

[cumslut72]

I think AChat is a great place for one to let go of their inhibitions and embrace something they may not normally do.  That being said, if you feel comfortable with the person and are willing to take the chance go ahead and meet, but be for warned.  You may not get what you are expecting.  On the flip side, I have been burned in the past by dating sites and other meet and greet venues that as a rule I will not meet anyone here in Real Life unless they are someone I already knew in Real Life

[Ewell]

It might be alright if you'd established a genuine friendship; but I suspect that otherwise it might be quite disappointing. Some of the things that are possible in Achat seem to me to fall quite clearly into the “don't try this at home” category. Not to mention the risk of finding out the bisexual female object of your desires is a gay male; or that the virile twenty-something man you've been getting it off with is actually a sad 50+ bloke who can't get it up without the aid of pills!

[Ewell]

As I said in the other post on the same topic:

It might be alright if you'd established a genuine friendship; but I suspect that otherwise it might be quite disappointing. Some of the things that are possible in Achat seem to me to fall quite clearly into the “don't try this at home” category. Not to mention the risk of finding out the bisexual female object of your desires is a gay male; or that the virile twenty-something man you've been getting it off with is actually a sad 50+ bloke who can't get it up without the aid of pills!

I'm here for the fantasy, and would be very worried if I felt someone I was meeting here saw it as anything else.

[chasxxx]

the virile twenty-something man you've been getting it off with is actually a sad 50+ bloke who can't get it up without the aid of pills!

I'm certain some stereotypes pop out here, but we REALLY SHOULD think twice before making generalities. As a non-pill-popping 60+ bloke, i must remind you, “Sex after 50 is surprising only to those UNDER fifty.”  I don't really take offense here because I see the context, but iI often get in trouble for trying to talk with my foot in my mouth.

[Ewell]

No offence intended. I'm not remotely suggesting that sex is only for the under 50s, but you might be dissapointed meeting a fifty-something (little blue pills or not) if you were expecting someone in their twenties. And I'm sure Achat appeals to some precisely because it allows them to fantasize about what they might have done when younger. Even at 38 there's an element of that I can assure you 

[Bear]

If one is blindly and foolishly accepting a meeting without qualifying their partner, they set themselves up for disappointed in the results. He can just as easily be an overweight slob under 30 reeking of BO.

In this day and age, arranging such meets is setting oneself up for problems. Predatory types thrive on the mindless arrangements of this sort.

Red lights should be flashing in the heads of women of guys who press the issue for a real life meet.

[SueCB]

Meeting someone real before knowing them at least some is beyond stupid. I know I did a lot of things wrong the first go-around online, but even dumb as I was, I was never that stupid.

I guess the best thing is just be careful and for sure only agree to meeting real only after knowing someone online a long while. I'd also strongly urge that it's only after other communication too, like email, phone (or maybe even cam … sexual or not). Even with all that, you won't be sure until you meet, and even then, you can get burned (like with any real relationship). So I guess bottom line is to say “Don't rush it.” If it happens, it happens.

[Author]

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