Meeting in a real life

[hentaiboy69]

If you really wanna do it, there must be a full deep trust between you and your, well, partner and this can be not enough.

a month or more ago, a guy, when i say him i leave in italy, come out telling me he sometimes come to Rome (maybe work!? dunno!) and like to meet me. so, i figured out he doesn't read my profile (strange, uh!?) and i had tell him i'm a guy too. he never ask it more, but, well, we had meet here and had some times again.

people i care, know about me, i tell them even if they don't had read on profile……..so, sorry Stephanie if i don't had tell you before, i had think of doing it many times, cause i think you are a pretty nice friend.

[sm3369]

hentaiboy, I do know that you are a guy, & that's fine. I did read that in your profile. And this is a fantasy site, so this is the place to do that. And I think you are a very nice friend as well.  Kisses.

[hentaiboy69]

thanks….you are really sweet!

[Azrielle]

walk with Confidence and always remember to sing!

(Solarplexes, Instep, Nose, Groin)… and I can do it wearing stilletto's… lolz.

and for those individuals that always seem to be a pest, don't be polite! Be BLUNT! – because it seems to be the only language they understand. A sweetly exclaimed F U C K  O F F !! does the trick everytime.

Mwah!
AZRIELLE

[jeanona31]

This is a very controversial issue , I could tell that most of the arguments against dating in real life,
reasonable and above all a very cautious way of looking at things.
Quite a good and safe attitude, recommended for each of us.
Certainly a sure way to save yourself the potential danger, disappointment, etc.
But – I really can not fully agree with this, cause each of us almost daily in our real-life encounters with all
what we are afraid here.

So what is the difference ?

For example, meet in a club with someone – you feel the appeal of the air and surrender to the unknown, that someone acts as a nice person but in fact you can never be sure who is the person?! 
Just like and what you can not be sure who is behind the A-chat screen .

– I regret the disappointment for those who dared to move the A-chat border, get to know someone they have
  met here and suffered disappointment.
– I am happy for those who have achieved happiness and fulfillment. My respect for all of them !
  It's all part of life and we all know that very well.

What I know is – someone who has never dared to do nothing,
did not achieve much in anything and did not get very far.
Whether it comes to this game , real life or anything else..

I'm very grateful to all dear friends here, for each wonderful thought and a moment that we shared together.
Whether we admit it or not, they are all part of our lives – all of them in some way affect  us in our real life,
even though we haven't met !
Otherwise why should we waste our time on them?!

However, I am here also to live my fantasies.
Carefully choose my friends and play the game on my way – following the intuition.
I have absolutely not one bad experience for three months as I am here,
also  have no experience with the introduction of virtual ( but real ) people in my life and yes – I think that we need to be careful and smart with moving boundaries, but I'm also firmly convinced that we should follow feelings and intuition if we believe that a person worth of it.

[Lover]

First jeanona, every person has to decide alone – do I want it or don't I?

I can understand, there is sometimes a big longing to meet your partner in rl. I had a wonderful girl here. We had a wonderful time for more then a year; we also used messenger to chat, mails… anything what was possible to stay in touch. The only reason we never met was the distance – she lived in US, I in Germany. The reason we aren't in contact anymore is not a fight. Just let me say, she isn't able to…

I write this to let you know my attitude. Yes, I know the big wish you can have. Yes, I understand the longing for kissing, hugging, having sex in real… and also just to see into the eyes of your lover, to talk to… face to face.

I just don't agree to your example of meeting some strange person in a club. It's the same danger. There is no “better” or “worse” danger.
Sometimes you have to follow your intuition. I eypnad this… often you have to follow it. But make sure, you're really listening to it and not only to your wish of having a wonderful lover to meet. If you meet a strange person in a club, you get more than his/her words or view. There is body langauge, expressing emotions etc… Your intuition or 6th sense gets much more information than just here on screen.
Here I could tell you how much I love you, could tell anything you want to hear… and laugh about in tne background or watch TV…
You cannot notice my real emotions. Mad idiots are very smart in using these words and finding out your wishes and desires. This is the main problem.
I for myself make it easy. I just say what I'm really feeling and simple believe the other is doing the same. As I know, never to meet this person in real, it's not a problem.

So, to come to an end, if you really wanna meet someone, make sure to know as much as possible. Chat, write mails, use messenger with webcam… it's much harder to lie over a long time and mails you can read again and again, checking for contradictory to testify.
Use the telephone, listen to the words and to the voice…
I wish you all good luck and hope, you stay here, having many more wonderful moments.

[Janine Dee]

I go into greater detail in “Janine's Dungeon” but since it feels necessary at this point…

#1. Make sure the first meeting is in a public place. Or if you are say meeting someone in another state (or country) have a verified address.

#2. Set up a safe call. What that means is that you have someone who knows where you are, and what you will be doing. At a certain time THEY are supposed to call you. If you say one thing they know everything is okay, but if you say another, or don't pick up they know to call the police and give them all the information.

If the person you are meeting has a problem with either of those notions don't meet them.

I would say more, but those two points are so often argued or out and out ignored there's not a lot of point. That, and I am listening to Manowar to get into the right frame of mind to post for the Erotic Fantasy thread, and feeling very Valkyrie right now. 

[Lover]

Very good points Janine. There are more safeguards (you mentioned it) but I'm not sure if we really should publish them.
I have to be more unique in my opinion.
In AChat are many young and inexperienced women. Every tip we give, can give them a deceptive safety – “ah, if I do this and this nothing can happen”.
But of course, as we speak about, probably every little is better than writing “don't do it”.

– Ask a friend also to come to the date. This friend stays in background, just watching and able to help if necessary.
– Be careful what you drink. Not too much alcohol and keep beware of your drinks.
– If you wanna have sex don't go to his house. The best would be a hotel room.

[medjai]

I think the best thing you can do if you REALLY can't wait to see him/her is meeting in a public place like Janine said but instead of making it a 1 on 1 date make it a group date to get to know wach other better and bring a couple of friends so they can tell you what they think about this new person.

[jeanona31]

@Lover I agree in most things you said, as for me personally, I am still far from meeting in real. Even if it is decided on something like that would not be recklessly stormed into all , all the precautions that are given out here are always welcome as well, as advice for those who dare.

There is so many posts against this possibility, I just wanted to hear other opinions about everything, let me say a more positive opinion on this subject.. And Yes – I agree that each person should decide itself, is not my intention to impose my view. Maybe I still do not have enough experience here, so my opinion may seems naive and wrong,
I agree that it is possible  I can not see far enough… (which certainly does not mean that diverges from my original opinion)

But I do have a lot of experience in the real, to me personally the best things in my life happened when I was able to make difficult and complex decisions and with the courage follow to the end, no matter what ,(just to know that I am not talking about trivial matters),so even though at that time all spoke against , all reasons against – are reasonable and proudly stood in front of me –  still I made it, not expecting much from the future, expecting almost nothing but stunning and completely unthinkablein a very short time I got a lot. In such an extent that I need months to get used to all the good that is happening to me continuously.
For me it was marvelous, very clear indication that you should always follow your heart.

If you continue to say, one's real life and the other is this game – it is not the same thing.
Okay I accept, but I still stand by my conviction..

Thanks for listening and for the part of the experience that you shared with us. 

[kittenlepurr]

All the above are excellent suggestion for personal safety and working out how to deal with people regarding the meeting public.

The way however I approach this is like i said before I keep a degree of seperation between my AChat and rl. Therefore meeting is not on the cards, in addition I am always upfront and honest about this .. some people have had an issue about it. However I choose to take the approach that I do not expect to meet anyone on Achat i real life. This is due to many bad experiences in the past that have made this attitude. (Some have been good but the majority have been bad)

I agree for those that do decide to meet its better for a group meeting as opposed to a 1 on 1 and should be in  a very public location.

It is true there are people out there in real life if you meet them that they can hurt you true of even on AChat as you build a friendship emotions are certainly part of it.

My advice from my experience is to keep these things seperate but if you are not going to proceed with all caution possible. (thats for both sides) Best case is everything goes well.

[Brandybee]

At some point , you'll always meet someone here and ask this particular question.. What if we met in real life… ?

I agree with all the safety net advice that other members have posted.

Always meet in public.
Always tell someone where you are going with a code call    but remember this too

Putting all the emotional turmoil aside and getting down to the bare bones …this is an erotic fantasy sex site , not a dating site and is not perhaps the best place to meet a potential partner. If you are looking for love … look elsewhere … if you are looking for hot brain sex .. then kiddo you have hit gold

Enjoy your game and all that goes with it 

[chasxxx]

OK, here goes! I agree with everything that has been said here regarding this being a virtual/not real/fantasy site and not a dating site. When i joined achat, i wasn't really looking to meet anyone here. i had memberships on a number of adult dating sites (after being kicked off the traditional ones for being too open and honest), and came close to meeting people a few times, but it just didn't work out logistically. however, as jeanona31 says we should be open to what is presented to us, and not reject it out of hand simply because of its source. yes, take all the aforementioned precautions and any others you can think of, but i read somewhere that “life is what happens to us while we are busy making plans.” that's what happened to me.

i have met a number of sweet, kind, and incredibly sexy, sensual, sexual women on here and had a lot of fun. i am old enough and smart enough to know that what happens on achat is not the real thing. that being said, i DID meet someone who was different. in addition to being all the aforementioned things, we just seemed to “click”. ultimately, we spent as much time chatting on here as playing, then played more conventional games in other places. we have spent hours and hours talking (and playing) on the phone. we have talked, cam to cam. in the 5 months we have known each other, we have spent more time talking, in depth, than i did in 25 yrs with my ex-wife (and WE talked a LOT). she knows more about me than all of my friends and family combined, probably DUE to where we met. i am totally, madly, deeply head-over-heels in love with her, and hope to be married by the end of this year (she has already said yes). Afterwards, we would like to do some kind of reception/celebration with all our friends here on achat.

i guess what i'm saying is, you might not be looking for the real thing here, but it CAN find you if you are open to it. just take the same precautions we all SHOULD take (but often don't) in real life. my previously mentioned sister's internet marriage is 17 years long, now and counting, so THERE is the success story someone was looking for! ok, i'm getting off my soapbox now… 

[Brandybee]

Well, being a romantic soul……. Chasxxx, you have made my face & heart smile – Congratulations to both you and your lady.
I wish you a long and happy life together   I just love happy endings.

I also think it was sensible of you both to take your relationship away from here to allow it to grow and flourish. Meeting is all about trust and it seems that you have successfully overcome these barriers. Many dont or cant

That being said though, as Chassxxx  has stated – please take all necessary precautions that have been outlined in this thread, if you are strongly considering this big step .

[chasxxx]

to brandy and any others who don't know me (yet), please call me chas (pronounced chazz). the xxx is an affectation designed to make me appear sexy and mysterious. besides, chas was already taken. sorry… off topic! lol

[Author]

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