No Pics, No Personal Info, No Video Chat

[jeanona31]

I was surprised categorical title of this topic,
now reading all this, forgive me guys I have such a wish to slaps that jerk over his face without saying a word except,you pitiful little pathetic human being.
Though I am not supporter of slaps, just my temperament.

Oh Christy I'm so sorry that you went through such a experience and I am so glad you came back here again.
Suppose that wasn't  easy for you after all.
Thank you for that and for you shared this with us.

I agree with the Lover,our precious Tight (dear man always feels guilty about bad guys)
and with all the other here who have supported you on this topic.
But do not be so strict in your decision, not cause of that jerk.
West said everything well and I do really agree with him you should not wall others out.
Don't allow bad things to change you – let good things to do that, instead of.
There is nothing to be ashamed you- that jerk is only one who should be shame.

[jeanona31]

Oh  regarding his wife:
I can understand the anger when someone feels betrayed, jealousy on another woman , all that bitter feelings…
but to write emails directly to you, even more attempting to find out everything about you.. !!
She should have known that it is called violating and threatening someone's privacy. It is not permissible, especially considering that she do not know and had no contact with you. I can't have understanding for such behavior, regardless of her position. Besides that is ridiculous, hey we are talking here about adults who are married !? What she thinks she will achieve disturbing you ??
Better to take care of her problems with her ​​husband instead of attempts to blame someone else for it.

I was betrayed – think not just once., from a guy who I loved, long time ago.
It was my first love, first time I fallen in love.He was handsome, smart ,full confidence, popular all around with his good look and his motorbike.I'm not really crazy about bikers but there you go he still seduced me. Unfortunately he was crazy about girls. I lived at that time in a small town, rumors can hear very quickly.I decided to pretend to be blind, convincing myself I'm the main girl – he loves me. Everything is fine as long as he do not lie directly to me.(stupid girl but it's all true). Sorry to say but it lasted quite long.

Guess I couldn't pretend forever , in addition he started to lay without any shame.
One night we planned to go out together,he said that unfortunately he has urgent business tasks and he'll be occupied the entire day and evening, (told even some details about that alleged tasks) saying that he feels very sorry and that he'll make up to me.Oh God, even hugged me and said how much he loves me. And I was really pissed off but I didn't say a single word except ” okay I understand”.

Thought, this can't continue further. I went to our mutual friend who knew all of what happens in the city. I believed that he would have some answers for me. I found him, told him the situation and how I feel, asked for his understanding, begging him to tell me what are the urgent tasks – means the name of girl with whom he planing to go out that night. He had no choice if he still want to be my friend except to tell the truth.Also told him I do not intend to do anything stupid nor to hurt anyone at anyway.
He knew he can trust me, he explained me everything what I needed to know and even more.

I knew the girl by sight, assumed that I could find her maybe at a nearby club, where we all gathered.I was lucky, have found her that afternoon. I approached her with a smile,(although it was a bit painful), introduced myself and explained who I am. She was very confused and it seems a little scared. I told her, do not worry I just came to tell you that this guy makes fools of us and please don't think – I do not blame you at all. She just stood speechless, her eyes filled with tears (assume that she was deeply in love with him too) and then spontaneously she hugged me. I was surprised didn't expect that. Then we started laughing like crazy.. I'll never forget that dear girl.. I said; '' Don't know what you'll do for my own part I am finished with him. Don't know how but this meeting with you has helped me to decide quickly, so I am planning to buy a ticket for the concert tonight and to have really good time. Just to be clear, be free to do what you want really, I won't mind if you stay with him and I'm very grateful to you for this talk.”

She said:”Can I go with you on the show, of course, if you don't mind and if you need company  , maybe a little weird to ask but I would really like, probably we will not become a friends after all..” I answered: ”  No, I do not mind – anyway I have no company ,the concert just simple came up – so be my guest, but wait – don't you need to meet him tonight ?” She said : “Yes ,we have a meeting at 8pm, think I don't want to and I need time to think.”

Then crazy idea came to my mind, I asked her: “Would you mind, given that the concert start at 9pm, we go together to meet him at 8pm .. After that you can stay with him or to go with me, whatever you  want, but really I would be glad to see his face when he sees us together ?”She has accepted saying “Oh I would love that too” Exactly at 8pm we were on the place, after a while he appeared theatrically entering the club, as always. All happy and full of himself. Two of us are sitting in separea. I sat with my back, turned towards door, she was  across from me. Then he approached her with a big smile, kissed her and he didn't notice me even for a moment.

She said: “Please meet my new friend and pointed at me”
An then he turned and looked at me, O God …how he was dumbfounded, he lend a hand and immediately withdrew, his smile disappeared from the face, then  he think blushed a bit. Then he began to stutter, failing to pronounce a single meaningful word, front of the eyes of all people who watched it – already enough unpleasant situation  makes it even more embarrassing for him.
When he finally succeeded ,after some time, to gather himself, he said : “How come , you two together ?”
I just said hello and goodbye stood up and moved to the door, she said “Wait I'm going with you “…

I apologize to the detail on the story, think this is the shortest I can and hope that my English was  clear enough.Thought maybe somehow my story and experience can help someone.

So dear Christy, I'm sorry but I can not have understanding for his wife's behavior .
I am proud of you, what you somehow dealing with it,honestly  I wouldn't know what to do in that situation.

[Lover]

Jeanona… reading your words made me sad, laughing, being proud of you, surprising… I went to all posibble emotions.

I know you a bit (and like you as you know) but I never thought you can be so wonderful devilish You had a lot of courage and strength to handle as you did. From the view of a (almost friendly ) guy I say: You did anything right – you both did.

[Janine Dee]

I've stated these in my Dungeon, and it can be repeated here… the good ones will respect your boundaries, and the best predators are the most convincing.

I still remember christina's first times here on AChat, and missing her when she left. Something that actually gives me some personal anger at this guy for what he did.

Still, I applaud you sweetie for standing up and sharing your story. Hopefully it can save someone from a similar fate.

As far as the idea of slowly building to that point… I'm sure this guy did just that with christina.

To draw upon BDSM there are hard limits, and soft limits, and they are set by the person themselves. Soft limits are areas you aren't comfortable with, but are designating are areas you are willing to leave open. Hard limits are areas you aren't budging on.

I said right away that I was keeping AChat separate from my personal life, and I had a challenge on that rather early on.

One girl got VERY interested in me, and I would SIT on the AChat program just waiting for me to log on. Always wanting to room with me, never giving me a chance to room with anyone else, continually trying to get me to tell her about my personal life.

Honestly I think on some level she was planning on us moving in together and already naming our cats.

When I held that line she then started trying to guilt me, and I eventually had to cut all ties to her… I still remember spending a couple hours with Lover telling me how I wasn't responsible for her not being able to respect my limits, and that I shouldn't feel as guilty as I did.

Because the most skilled of these sorts whether predatory like christina's or just obsessive like mine will learn your buttons, and push all of them to get want they want out of you.

Still, it's much like those people in real life, while of course it's bad to shut down entirely, you have the right to protect yourself, and if someone faults you for that then they are likely the one you need to be most concerned about.

[Rose]

I just want to say thanks for this thread.

I had an experience that wasn't anything like as bad as Christina's, but it was bad enough to keep me away for several months, and I really missed coming here.

The reason I feel the need to say thanks is because now I'm completely sure that setting these limits is reasonable, and I know I shouldn't even have that question but when enough people act like you're being unreasonable, you start to wonder if you are.

best wishes to all 

[Lydiarose]

I understand what happen to you…something like that happen to me but not as bad as you..After a month or 2 of be on Achat  I met a girl
we would spend all out time on Achat together Hours just chatting then one day she asked me could i send her a pic of  me.so after a few week i said i would but not a nake one of me she was ok with that and would send one back to me we did this for a few weeks pic of me out with friend and she would do the same then one day she said she would like to see more of me in the picture  so first i send  picture of my breasts and it want on from there..I was start to fell for her so one day she ask me for my facebook page and i said yes.. by this time we would chatting all day on yahoo she know ever thing about me my friends where i love to go with them on a night out..then one day in achat i told her that i could come out to her and we could be together for real.. she told me to go to my yahoo Messenger and she had to show me something so i want  She send me a picture of a guy when i said to her who is this think she say it was her ex it was her a guy my world fell a part..after the shock of it..i stop coming on to achat and had to tell all my friends.. get new FB,,yahoo and email..i did not come back on Achat for over 9 months but i know now i will never do that again its a game and thats all it will be to me..     

[Kingdustin]

I truly do understand, after experiencing such a betrayal in trust. it very hard to come back to the way you were. Iv never had any on Achat so far. but Iv had them through out my life. Growing up as a target for cruel pranks that play on the heart. so many knifes left in my back by girls who say they like me and best friends who lie to get what they want from me. As made me put up shields around my heart. but I don't wall my self off as i  leave doors on them. now and then i have let few pass through but not many. Iv been called cold, mean, emotionless. Growing up with these scare as left my love life and relationships very small to not being there. But thanks to a very special somebody I have learned again to open up more.
If fact I'm quite emotional guy I feel lot of emotions and i feel them very strongly.On this topic i can slip my self into two sides. One side is weighed heavy with grief at hearing all your stories, my heart gos to you all.The other half of me boils with great Anger at how people can performed such evil with out every considering what harm it will do to other. It bring me to the point sometime were I could do harm to them.  as a kind person and one who dislike violence  such feeling I do not like and controlling them take a lot on my part.

betrayal is the greatest of all sins and it should never be done.

[Author]

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