Original Limericks

[DayDrinker]

Number – 27

I once went looking for scandal
And bumped into a fella named Randall
He was quite thick
I’m not talking his dick
It was his ignorance that I couldn’t handle

[DayDrinker]

Number – 28

My friend Tift sure likes to race
Even though she struggles to keep pace
I always have fun
Each time that we run
And I can count on her for last place

[Tift]

No.29

There is a girl called Day Drinker
Who is a bit of a thinker
She'll argue all day
And never give way
So Plato would call her a Stinker

[Tift]

No.30

Sister Jasmine had a fine smell
Which came from her pussy so well
She'd stand in the street
Smelling so sweet
And giving the newbies hell

(see No.11 & response)

[Tift]

No.31

Sonia was really quite happy
When she bought herself a new lappie
It worked very well
It being a Dell
But never as good as her strappie

[Tift]

No.32

A rampant old trollope called Ellie
Was edging like crazy with Kelly
They fiddled all day
In mutual play
Then squirted all over the telly

[Soniaslut]

No. 33

It’s not often that one finds the time
To sit quiet and come up with a rhyme
And just now I sat down
Chewed my pen, gave a frown
‘Cause I can’t seem to get the last line

[Soniaslut]

No. 34

“’Tis never too late to repent”,
Said the preacher in his holy tent.
But he later confessed
That his real name was Jess
And he longed to go back to the Convent.

[Tift]

No.35

Memes are easy things to choose
Cut and paste and freely use
Base shallow humour
Defines the rumour
There's little left for us to lose

[Zuzannah]

No.36

Zuzannah has a gorgeous ass
And it's very hard to pass
If you cop a feel
It will feel surreal
But you'll be eating her drinking glass.

[Tift]

  No.37

Ethel had a magic hat
purple and blue, soft like a cat
when she went a walking
people got a talking
Cos she farted out cupcakes, just like that !

[DayDrinker]

Number 38

A fella once wanted a dance
I told him he had no chance
He’d asked like an ass
So I had to pass
And sent him packing without a glance

[Soniaslut]

No. 39

My friend Sam has a dog he calls Tilly
Who he says does behave rather silly
For despite her small size
She jumps up to his thighs
And buries her teeth in his willy

[DayDrinker]

No. 40

A “master” wanted me over his leg
He promised he'd make me beg
The guy had no clue
So I gave him his due
And with my strappy his ass did I peg

[Tift]

No.41

I once owned a two door Capri
It was just as I thought it would be
When I started to drive
the guys would all try
Get my knickers off down past my knees

[Author]

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