Original Limericks

[Tift]

No.57

I sat next to Sonia at tea
It was just as I thought it would be
The rumblings abdominal
Sounded phenomenal
And everyone thought it was me

[Vaughan]

No. 58

All she does is strut and shout!
The forum bully, be in no doubt!
The tantrums are silly
In her dress that’s frilly
Who cares what she shouts about!

[Tift]

No.59

A tedious wastrel called Parrot
Got arsey with Elizabeth Barrett
He thought it was fun
To address her as hun
So she tickled his balls with a mallet

[Tift]

No.60
(about food)

A duck egg omelette made for two
With mixed herb and sausage too
Eaten with glee
Right next to the sea
Then a snooze, just me and you

[Tift]

(for an itinerant power-tool gardener)

No.61

A lazy chain-sawrer called Bertie
Was also incredibly shirty
he always was moaning
complaining and groaning
So Bertie's now known as Gertie !

[Tift]

No.62

A lumbering old lecher called Frank
With the ladies was drawing a blank
They all said the same
Pay-per-fuck is the game
So he logged off and went for a wank.

[Zuzannah]

No. 63

I see another milking pose
They're alright, I suppose.
So get your Bull
And give him a pull
And ease away all his woes.

[Tift]

              No.64

An onanist as shameless as Bourne
Earned his wife's considerable scorn
She screamed and berated
Said he must be castrated
But he laughed and went back to his porn.

[Zuzannah]

No. 65

What the hell does Onanist mean ?
I'm not that bright, it would seem
I searched on Bing.
And learned something.
“It's masturbation” I said with a scream.

[Zuzannah]

No. 66

New pose, Hot kissing in clothing
Some girls heads might be exploding
Looks real nice
And so is the price
All clothes on and not exposing.

[Tift]

                 No.67

A slack-bladdered dancer called Tess
Got herself in a bit of a mess
As she twirled round the pole
She lost all control
It's easy to guess the rest

[Soniaslut]

If you don't like it …….don't read it.
You're on a site where people beat and humiliate each other and that's condoned….so whatever I'm posting….you're either fine with or just looking to complain.

No. 68

It's been quite some time since I posted
In hope that the boredom here may have adjusted
But I logged in to see
The same yawns from capri
I'm quite sure that this forum is busted

[Vaughan]

If you don't like it …….don't read it.
You're on a site where people beat and humiliate each other and that's condoned….so whatever I'm posting….you're either fine with or just looking to complain.

No. 68

It's been quite some time since I posted
In hope that the boredom here may have adjusted
But I logged in to see
The same yawns from capri
I'm quite sure that this forum is busted

YOU are the one who attacks. You are the bully and You and another are the ones who come back and start trouble. I've just stopped turning the other cheek.

No 69

The trouble makers and bullies are back
They just make joyful times black
They think they are clever
Silly so and so's… Whatever!
Go back to your pavement's crack!

[JessiCapri]

#70

They still have not learned.
Thinking they can't get burned.
Even a cobra should not play in the fire.
They are lower than low and the flames flicker higher.
Not long ago their words in topics to ash did turn!!

[JessiCapri]

I would draw the attention of the last two contributors to  the terms of this thread
as posted on page 1 … they are pushing the boundaries and if their intention
is to get this limerick thread deleted please be aware that such things do not
pass without consequences.

“Original and Non-contentious Limericks only please

To be written by you, preferably anything Achat –
But anything as long as it is original and written by you –
the emphasis on you (but please, no maligning others)
and please take the next number”

I am sure you mean the last THREE contributors. The last two only respond in kind

[Author]

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