My Reactions to a Whole Bunch of Random Posts

[SueCB]

My Reactions to a Whole Bunch of Random Posts

I finally took time to at least go through the posts in Say what you think… etc. There’s a lot of redundancy, and that’s usual in forums, it’s not easy going back through pages and pages of posts. Certain things caught my eye, but it seems kind of repeittious to answer each individually.

Female Clothing vs Male Clothing
There IS a huge inequity in female vs male clothing. Maybe that’s because – as a rule – guys are more interested in gettng them off and usually don’t get into the whole appearance thing anyway?

Clothing in General
There are many nice outfits, some not so great. But fashion sense is an individual taste mostly. If there’s one area that for sure needs work, it’s women’s footwear. Not trying to break dev b-lls, but by and large, that’s something common in a lot of places with graphics. Men suck at designing women’s shoes, admit it and get a female dev. Second is the whole stand on tiptoes thing. We get it, men like seeing women with their ass hiked up. Now, get me flat feet and some f-ing sandals.

Various Dramas
Stalkers, underage and posers are nothing new on the Net. Neither is human drama in general.

Stalkers
This is the easiest, Ignore works. If somehow they persist, Ignore and report.

Underage
Underage is not only not appealing, it’s illegal. That said, sure maybe a guy has some schoolgirl fantasy, and if that’s his thing and you want to play along like you are 15 (14, 13 whatever), that’s fine too – two adults doing consensual RP. But as a reality? No thanks, I don’t want to go to jail for something that stupid.

Legal age difference matters too. I agree with a comment I saw in a post, guys under 25 or so tend to be more immature. Or likely that’s just me being more mature now than I was then. But you get the idea, the greater the age gap, the less like there’s going to be certain things in common, except maybe a common want, desire, need to have some virtual sex. There are exceptions, I know this one 21 yo guy who could put a lot of 30 yo guys to level-headed shame. By and large, my preference is for about my age or older. At least I can usually assume they got the training wheels off a long while back, don’t need housebreaking and (hopefully) can handle an online relationship in a mature way. Though sometimes you have to wonder about the last one.

Posers
Yeah, that. Guys who for whatever reason have to come online and be a woman. I have brothers, been around a lot of guys, and so there’s lots I understand about guys. But that one I can’t figure out to save my life. The best “defense” against that is not to accept cold invites and to chat with them. Somewhere along the line, a red flag will either be there or not. Like they say in Latin, caveat emptor.

So guys, it’s something you have to deal with but without intruding on my right to anonymity or autonomy. So don’t be asking for pictures, phone or cam to somehow prove to you who I am. If it ever gets to a more serious relationship point, maybe that’s valid. Until then, it’s about getting to know each other, and part of that process is getting a feel for integrity and a sense of who you are and who I am.

Frankly, I wish there was a “easy” way, but unlike RL, the only visual there is online is usually pixels.

Jealousy, Possessiveness and all that
First and foremost, I don’t belong to anyone but myself. It’s my choice whether to make any sort of commitment to someone, and that includes exclusivity. And how realistic do you think that is in AChat anyhow? I know it can and does happen. But you sure have to wonder when you see someone with multiple Spouses. Or even multiple Friends. What, you’re so naive to think that ALL of them are platonic? Don’t get me wrong, a lot of Friends are exactly that, folks I like talking to and sharing with, but not necessarily intimately. With others, there’s been intimacy, but more of the “friends with benefits” kind. We both know it and are fine with it. Then there’s the rare few that get beyond that.

That brings me to human emotions, mainly possessiveness and exclusivity. I can understand it, especially when a relationship and sharing things online has gotten to very personal levels. That’s when things get tricky and there’s touchy ground to walk over and I’m guessing it’s where lots of feathers get ruffled. People have feelings and emotions, they have needs, wants and desires – and (this is why calling AChat a game really pisses me off) here you are interacting with each other.

I sure can’t speak for others, but once I get to know someone, bonds form. There’s emotional commitment of varying levels. And that’s the dangerous part of online (and reall too!) because it opens the door to a lot of possibility for misunderstanding. I read somewhere that human communication is only like 4-6% verbal and the rest we get from clues from our other senses. Guess what, all we have here are words (ok and animated pixels) so that means there’s a HUGE chance something’s going to be taken out of context or misunderstood. Add to that the fact not everyone speaks the same language (even folks that speak “English”), and it’s even more likely than not.

Maybe some people can just come on a site like AChat, remain emotionally detached and just use a bit of interaction to get off. If so, I feel sorry for them. Or maybe it’s envy, because it sure would simplify sharing that intimacy. I have this theory (uh oh), while everyone comes here for different motives, wants, needs, at the most basic level it’s because we want at least some companionship. I could be wrong, or maybe I’m like too estrogen loaded and all emo, but that’s my theory going back quite a few years online.

Anyway, I got off on that tangent from reading some posts regarding “ownership” and what all. Human drama stuff and most of it because most likely stuff didn’t get communicated that ought to be.

Enough for now … real life is calling, so I’ll add more to this later.

[TightFit74]

SueCB,

indeed only about 7% of our communication is what we say. How we say things overs about 35% of communication, the rest is all body language (posture, facial expression, tention in muscles). There is a hige chance of misunderstanding eachother whenonly sharing words. Even though there is a very small possibility to strengthen what you say, with the gesture and actions in AChat, it is not personal, the pixelation of a preset action.

I can fully share myself behind your ideas about relationships developing here in AChat and what consequences they can have. For me, there is no 100% exclusivity. Though I have heard of spouses in rl, connecting through this game because they are too far apart from eachother to connect in the flesh. For such intimacy, AChat forms a perfect platform. But I don’t see the program (as you dislike it being called a game

😉 ) created for that purpose. Most people want to meet new people, from all over the world and not limit themselves to one person. Not even touching the subject of time-differences etc.

For me the game is for social interaction, being very careful with who I share intimacy with. I make sure the one I meet, has at least some of my interests and I am not afraid to say during or after being together, it didn’t work out as I had hoped or expected. Some of the people I have met, I have let come pretty close to me. But that doesn’t happen over night, It takes time to develop a relatioship that goes beyong sharing a sexual fantasy.

This game for me is about friendship, sexuality and intimacy. Trying to leave some of the drama of real life at home. But always being there for my friend.

[Author]

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