The Worst Pick Up lines EVER

[jayc]

Sorry  im with Lover and Andrea on this one, use the ignore button. life is too short to waste time with social malcontents who's idea of fun is to pester my spouse and insult me. 

just as in real life, first impressions tell you alot and 2nd chances are admirable, but this moron has learned nothing and does not deserve even your scorn.

so next time just click that button 

and put this childish boy in the corner for a time  out  then write in his report card  “Does not work and play well with others”    

[ily1990]

If this isn't the worst attempt ever, I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
I'd copy and paste it but my subscription ran up & haven't gotten around to renewing it yet.

[Nexe]

As for me, the worst starting line ever is 'Hi babe' (Of course, that's worst among usual words, as some… 'people' start from foul words and got blacklisted immediately). Why? Because it's vulgar to address an unknown lady as 'babe' (baby and so on). It's vulgar and silly, and could be even more silly if the person who calls me 'baby' is younger than me  

Calling me a 'babe' (baby) is a good way to earn a place in my blacklist. I'm an adult and a lady, not a 'chick', 'bimbo' or whatever sexist crap these guys are use to throw at women. Sadly, Achat is full of these boys, and that's the reason i almost stopped to play it after 3 years. Probably i'm just fed up with 'hi babe'-s

[Lydiarose]

you are right Nexe.. do what i do if someone says to me hi babe i send back this akkooofgbzan and when they ask whats that i say you did call me babe

[bluedenim]

Agree wholeheartedly with you Nexe!

[Lover]

I love whores and this is a very special one

whore: send m a small gift and your alone in the room
me to xxx: i send you a gift and im alone in room?
whore: yes
me to xxx: wow what a great offer….youre so nice
me to xxx: but i can go alone into room without gifting somebody
xxx: pls send gift go inv room
me to xxx: but then im alone..i dont want to be alone
xxx: yes ok
xxx: send it over to settle me your
me to xxx: hey, you better leave as long as youre able to…Im jack the ripper, i dont like whores and so does my knife

next i got a cold invite where is the slaughter pose when you need it?

xxx: send or no
me to xxx: no, i dont pay for talking in room
me to xxx: and i dont like whores, i told you
xxx: fuck you
me to xxx: yes, much better than fucking you

[A123lolo]

this “whore” is not original.
She had sent me the same sentence : “send m a small gift and your alone in the room”

But, i were talking with a friend and i didn't answer like you, Lover.
But, it's not sexy those requests

[Lover]

Yes, i was sure she uses this sentence to everyone. I just wonder if she will get A$ lol

[Nat33]

She's not a good whore, she has not the right approach and doesn't tell the customer tariffs.

That's easy:
Goodnight Sweetheart,
Want Happiness?
Tired of your wife who doesn't want to be sodomized when you want?
Try a shemale, you will be on to fuck her ass !

Blowjob: 500 A$
Sodomy: 1000 A$
The total, one hour of intense pleasure: 5000 A$

I add that it's the price dictated by the ASS*
*AChat Shemale Syndicate

I do everything for free because I love it and not just me

[bluedenim]

Oh Nat vous  etes si jolie!  I love it!  Achat Shemale Syndicate……. too precious!

[Brandybee]

This guy pesters me on and off.   Usually the conversations are short and sweet …  But I had two hits in one night between my chats… joyful 
As usual name is changed to prevent embarrassment.

Little Dick: hi mom
Brandybee :  Don't start like that, I dont like mom. its not good.
Little Dick: i am sorry..i didnt mean any offence…if you were my mother id be in heaven
Brandybee : go away
Brandybee : you used the M word again,
Little Dick: ok…im sorry…just young bored horny and too much energy and sperm..i am sorry…youre beautiful

He went away as he usually does.    Then he came back ….

Little Dick: youre looking incredible mama…are you going on a date or?
Brandybee : Mama?
Little Dick: if dreams came true..then yes
Brandybee : why do you think its ok to presume I am into incest  or that I would even like you to call me anything?
Little Dick: i dont presume anything, i just shoot and hope
Brandybee : its bad manners and I dont like incest nor the M words
Little Dick: bad manners? this entire program is bad manners
Brandybee : so its ok then, its ok to insult people. 
Little Dick: i havent insulted anyone
Brandybee : yes you did
Little Dick: how?

Brandybee : that one word insulted me, I am not your mama  and by the very nature of it , it suggests incest
Brandybee : you should chat politely first before making such presumptuous role play
Little Dick: we must have a different definition of the world insult, this is going nowhere, just ignore me
Brandybee : just dont rp such things…   and you should learn to apologise
Little Dick: i have not done anything with intent to insult you, neither should anything i have said insulted you, youre taking this way out of context and proportion, this is a nameless thing, it is faceless, it is purely for sex
Little Dick: anyone looking for more than sex here is going to have a very bad time, they must be already
Brandybee : wrong, you are presuming people are like you. 

Little Dick: no, im not presuming anything, this is not a dating site, its not a bar, its not an island resort, its a computerised sex simulator, why put yourself…who is on here faceless and simply an avatar and a name on a pedestal? this is pornographic…nothing more…looking for more than that here is like looking for an ice block in the desert
Brandybee : thank you for explaining that. I never thought of it like that. 
Brandybee : silly me
Little Dick: miss you can think what you want, it doesnt matter to me, just as much as it shouldnt matter to you what i think, i am simply trying to explain how i dont see how i have insulted you…whatever…as i said this is pointless…..
Brandybee : No you are forcing your incestuous r p on me.  I didnt like it, plain and simple. And I dont like being called Mama. 

Little Dick: im not forcing anything…im simply putting it there…you can do nothing with it…reply to it…or block me….im not forcing anything
Brandybee : You should find out what people like first before presuming
Brandybee : Ok, so if i said,  ” Hi little Dick,  you look great to sub tonight?  ”   You think that’s a good opening line?
Little Dick: if i was into that then that would be fantastic, as im not in to bdsm i would say “no, not for me thank you for the offer”
Brandybee : yeah, sure you would
Little Dick: whos presuming now?
Brandybee : And I'm not that ill mannered
Little Dick: i never said you were ill mannered
Brandybee : No,  I am making a point

Little Dick : i have not commented on your manners or mannerism or personality at all
Brandybee : Well Your manners and presumptions leave a lot to be desired.
Little Dick: all iv done is tried to explain my reasoning behind failing to understand how i have insulted you….offended you? possibly…but i dont see how either….repulsed? certainly….but does a disfigured person apologise to you if they see the shock on your face? no
Little Dick: well that is fine miss
Brandybee : I explained it
Brandybee : You presumed I was incestuous

Little Dick: no i didnt
Brandybee : and used the M word
Brandybee : its a sex site, you called me mama   
Little Dick: i did not presume you were..i put the thing there…then hoped you might be interested…i didnt even think enough about it to consider wether you were incestuous or not
Brandybee : you should have before you opened that chat
Brandybee : its offensive

Little Dick: well see this is all a matter of opinion, thats why we are going around in circles
Brandybee : lol no, you are insulting, I told you. simples
Little Dick: well different people are insulted by different things and in different ways…obviously between myself and you quite differently
Little Dick: youre absolutely lovely to debate with though
Brandybee : sure, you presumed I was incestuous, i'm not
Little Dick: i didnt presume
Brandybee : Has it sunk in yet?
Little Dick: no
Brandybee : Mama  is definitely a presumption

Little Dick: no its not..its a suggestion…it is fantasy and in no way was it forced on you…it is not possible to force it on you..there is no other way to communicate it with out somply putting it to you as i did….miss you could be a 19 year old male for all i know…i do not presume jack shit here…
Brandybee : No it’s an insult
Little Dick: define an insult to me
Brandybee : assuming I am or want to be your mother on a sex site
Brandybee : without bothering to chat to see what I like or dislike
Brandybee : presuming I like such things
Little Dick: assume..presume…none of this applies…..
Brandybee : that is insulting as you presume too much
Brandybee : you did
Brandybee : you presumed by calling me that
Brandybee : i wouldnt call you Little Dick     (Well maybe I would now & have   :-* )

Little Dick : miss youre more than welcome to call me little dick or moby dick or whatever you want….i simply put a situationally rp there and you were welcome to do what you wanted with it…it was not forced on to you…it was put to you the only way that is possible through this
Brandybee : It was, you sent it, I didnt ask for it
Brandybee : You presume too much
Little Dick: my word
Brandybee : accept it or not but don’t ever do that to me again
Little Dick: well…we will just have to agree to disagree on those points miss, im sorry we couldnt work this out, you seem like a lovely lady and i have no higher respect for strong minded girls, so…if i can ever be of any assisstance to you…to talk or anything dont hesitate, of course i am not presuming or assuming here that you would want anything to do with me at all after this…but i am putting it out there..ok?

Brandybee : Not to me ok, I find it extremely insulting and presumptuous.  And I know others do too
Little Dick: well that is fine miss…as i said were gona have to disagree here…i am sorry we couldnt work this out…it has been lovely doing this though, youre great
Brandybee : I still dont hear an apology

Little Dick: i still dont see what i have to apologize for….for suggesting something youre not interested in? if someone says to you…”hey did you see the tennis?” and maybe to you tennis is the most boring fuckin thing in the world…would you make them apologize to you for asking?
Brandybee : No tennis is not incest
Little Dick: so?
Little Dick: its the same principle
Brandybee : and you called me a name I did not like
Brandybee : No its not
Brandybee : Tennis is not taboo or against the law
Brandybee : It’s totally the wrong analogy

Little Dick: yes…but it was said in a place where sexual fantasies are played out…so in the context it is no different
Brandybee : No your sexual fantasy is not mine
Little Dick: exactly
Brandybee : You do what you want in the room
Brandybee : Not in the lobby
Little Dick: how else am i supposed to know that unless i put it out there to you?
Brandybee : you talk to me and ask what I like
Brandybee : you presumed
Brandybee : you was wrong
Brandybee : I didn’t like the presumption
Brandybee : Nor the name calling

Little dick: you say name calling as if i was calling you something derogatory, that was not the intent with which it was used………..why do you wish to keep talking to me?
Brandybee : You did. You called me Mama
Little dick: yes im quite aware of that
Brandybee : So I find it insulting

Little Dick: in my mind it is not derogatory or insulting it is suggesting a scenario……do you despise me so much for being a boy with too much testosterone right now…and too much of an imagination…maybe wanting to get a thrill of doing something taboo? i dont understand why you persist with me…you want to fix me? or you just want an apology for something that i dont think i have done?
Brandybee : So keep it for the room, you force your ideals on me that I frankly find despicable. Therefore it was a wrong opening line. It was insulting and presumptuous
Brandybee : and before using such a strong taboo, you should have found out if I was like minded

Little Dick: well i dont like to beat around the bush miss…thats why i just cut to the point…but i have really enjoyed this anyway…probably more than i would have doing what i suggested with you..i am sorry but the only thing i can apologise for is failing to see how you think i inteded to hurt you, that is the last thing i wanted to do
Brandybee : You didn’t hurt me,  you pissed me off by calling me Mama and what it suggested.

Little Dick: well i didnt intend that, i cant repeat myself any more miss….really….i know you dont agree with it but do you understand my point of view?
Brandybee : No, you insulted me, you won’t accept it nor apologise.  That’s your prerogative.
Little Dick: well just call me napoleon and be done with it then
Brandybee : No, I wouldnt insult Napolean
Little Dick: lol
Brandybee : lol

Little Dick: what do you want from me?
Brandybee : Nothing,  I like to chat.  LMAO
Brandybee : see if there’s any chemistry
Little Dick: well havent you found enough for a man mad volcanoe yet?
Brandybee : There’s no chemistry here,  but I like talking to you  lol

Little Dick: why?
Brandybee : Why no chemistry  or why I like talking to you?
Little Dick: just why really
Brandybee : No chemistry , not on the same wave length = crap room
Brandybee : Talking to you,  I chat by nature and am a role player too
Little Dick: ok
Brandybee :    why are you still here?  😮

Little Dick: not fair really…youve no idea how much you turn me on…dont know what to do with myself now..guess ill have a cigerete while i figure it out
Brandybee : lol   
Brandybee : You like erotic stories? There’s good ones on Forum.
Little Dick: i havent really read any
Little Dick: i like russian stories
Brandybee : Are you a member of Forum?
Little Dick: ok…what name are they under? i am bored now…and ridiculously horny but i dont think i could read anything right now
Little Dick: what forum?
Brandybee  –     Achats Forum –   https://funnyadultgamesplay.com/forum/index.php
Brandybee : its free, just register your details then log in
Little Dick: oh ok
Little Dick: i only install this thing once every couple of months..i duno miss…i dont want to get that far in to it

It goes quiet & I continue to chat to others.

Little Dick: sorry miss i had a phone call
Little Dick: i hate to be crass but i really just need to ejaculate…youve got me so wired..even after being stuck talking to my boss for half an hour
Little Dick: my cocks been hard for you so long its aching
Brandybee : lol  Good, suffer  lol
Little Dick: mercy
Brandybee : talking to the wrong person. I chat about erotic stories lol

Little Dick: ok…i am in a predicament then…i dont want to settle for any other girl right now
Brandybee : lol. best join forum then   You can read the stories
Brandybee : hot guranteed
Little Dick: next time i need this release i will…need something visual right now
Brandybee :  Trust me, I bet your imagination is better.  Try it and see

Little Dick: i dont have the time or patience right now
Brandybee :That’s a shame, you are missing quite an experience
Little Dick: i think iv been missing you my whole life…but i just couldnt go on a forum right now,..im at bursting point and i dont want anyone but you
Brandybee : mmm  sorry,  I am very particular and Mama killed it. 

Little Dick: then i have committed orgasmical suicide
Brandybee : Thats one way of looking at it
Little Dicky: Theres nothing i can do or say is there?
Brandybee : No,  you can’t recover from that, It’s why it’s not a good way to start

Little Dick: you wouldnt want a 19 year old anyway i dont think, youre too classy for me
Little Dick: can i at least have your permission to think of you when i cum?
Brandybee : No
Brandybee : lol
Little Dick: seriously?
Brandybee : No,  think of someone else lol
Little Dick: i cant
Little Dick: youre really gona do that to me?
Brandybee : I'm a Domme, so no permission   (        )
Little Dick: iv never been dommed…would you dom me? make me cum 5 times in you till i pass out?
Brandybee : No,  you should not have called me Mama

Little Dick: well i cant do anything about it now….
Little Dick: i am my own worst enemy
Brandybee :  mmm hmmm I tried to tell you, even hinted at saying sorry.

Little Dick: if i said sorry it would be false though miss….i am sorry that what happened happened..and how it turned out…but i cant apologise for not knowing how i did something wrong

Brandybee : Have you ever heard the expression –   ” You have to dress up to dress down”?
Little Dick: yes
Brandybee : dress up = start classy,   you can dress down =  down and dirty.    You can’t start dirty and go up to classy….  but you can be classy and go down to dirty
Brandybee : And here endeths the lesson.

Little DIck: ok, well, i am sorry
Brandybee : At last you see the light
Little Dick: yeah but give me one guess and id say its a train coming
Little Dick: do i have your permission now?
Brandybee : Train baby, with me it’s an earthquake and violent storm with a train coming.   You missed your stop
Brandybee : No

Little Dick: i give up
Little Dick: it was real nice meeting you miss and talking
Brandybee : take care, and change your initial contact  
Brandybee : Nighty Night.

Think he's got the message now   

[Lydiarose]

thanks Brandy I enjoy read that, think he did get message 

[hukk]

*grabs a snicker bar and my glasses*

i still dont see what i have to apologize for….for suggesting something youre not interested in? if someone says to you…”hey did you see the tennis?” and maybe to you tennis is the most boring fuckin thing in the world…would you make them apologize to you for asking?

Pretty much the worst analogy ever. Maybe if he said “Hey, I got this tennis racket…and you have a vagina…need I say more..?” it would've been a better analogy.

I didn't read all the way, but gonna assume he never apologized. If he ever joins the forum though, I'll make him a banner named “Little Dick” with his tennis analogy as the caption.

[Nat33]

I don't know about the rest but BB likes to talk 
Note: I do the same but in French, when I speak French to English, it's not a good sign.
In this regard, I don't see why the French (francophones) make the effort to speak English and not the reverse  :

[FoxyRoxxy]

Lick your fingers and touch the girls clothes and say “how bout me and you get outa these wet clothes

Girl…are you a private eye? Because I saw you checking out my package

Hey Babe, there's a party in my pants and you're invited!

(Give a girl a penny) then say “how much can i get with this”

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free

If  i was a fly I'd land on you first, Because you're the sh*t

[Author]

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