Unexplained friend / lover cancels and ignores

[Bear]

It's the lover requests I get before rooming or even talking that get me… expect an immediate rejection.
I'll friend anyone who has engaged me in reasonable talk, but accept Lover requests only from those I have actually roomed on multiple occasions and have a deeper personal connection.  A spouse to me a special status,.. one not of exclusiveness, but rather prioritization of attention and great affection for.

[Adera]

Yeah that would work for the spouse relationship and I really agree with you about what I would call cold relationship requests… doesn't make any sense to me. I guess I'm something of a free spirit as Sunny so nicely puts it.

[Janine Dee]

Heck relationships by their very nature get confusing. 

That said that said my view on spouses can be seen by looking AT my spouse. 

My view could be summarized as this game will be what you make of it. I've had lovers where I've ended things when they got too clingy, and I've made friends that I've been able to share thoughts I can't share with those near and dear to me in real life.

[TightFit74]

I view the relationship-status more or less as Bear does. Having one spouse, that spot is taken, I have no need for another. I usually do not accept a friend request after a single conversation. Having had too many of those, a single talk then nothing for weeks or months, not even being online. I don't like having to clean up my list all the time.  :
Lovers I have a deeper connection with, known them for a longer time, had multiple meetings with and a warmer, more passionate relationship. I 'upgrade' (hate the word) friends to lovers if that deeper connecton is established.. Well, just my view on things…

[islandsun]

Over 1 1/2 yrs ago I asKed my best friend to be my lover ! He declined , told me his reasons , which I respect , we are still close  . But forget it , have`nt asked anyone else ! Some times feel like putting my ass up for the highest bidder ! Used or be used world ! forget that , robot boy is less confusing ! 

[Adera]

Robot boy is kinda bad in bed though, its far more fun with someone you get that special connection with.

[TightFit74]

*blink*          *blink*          *blink*

[hiyapie]

how do you get people to move up in the relationship? I have someone who is a friend, but I want as a lover. What do I do?

[Brad]

@Hiyapie  You have to cancel the friend and invite for lover.

[islandsun]

@ Tight  whats with the blinking ?   

[Lover]

Tight is ignoring us

[islandsun]

:  >pout <

[TightFit74]

Robot boy is kinda bad in bed though, its far more fun with someone you get that special connection with.

I was referring to your post Sunny.. someone you have a special connection with.. Uhm, how many flirts do you get a day? And you missed this one?

[islandsun]

@ Tight  :  ah ah maybe had an off day !ok I suspected > I frozed  <

[West69]

Cancellation etiquette?

Out of curiosity do any of you follow any self-imposed etiquette when you cancel a “friend”, or “lover”? I don’t mean the obvious, i.e when someone has done something rude or uncaring and they clearly have damaged the relationship. No, I mean out the blue with no warning.

For example, I occasionally get the message, “X partner has cancelled your friendship”. Usually it is from someone I haven’t heard from for a while, and I have no idea why they cancelled. The problem is that they have sent no message ahead of time so I don’t know if it’s something I said or did. My response is to always message back and say something like, “I am disappointed you cancelled our friendship. Was it something I said, or other circumstances”.

Most of the time the person is surprised that I even wrote back to ask. Here are the last two explanations:

1. “I was just going through and deleting a lot of people to clean up my list.”
2. “I have taken a new lover, and he demanded that I get rid of all my friends”.

On the first one i just shook my head in amusement. On the second I wrote back expressing hope that my former friend would not be hurt eventually by anyone so controlling.

I am sharing the above because I am interested if other people get “cancelled” without any preceding explanatory or courtesy message. In you do, how do you handle it, and am I stupid to even try to politely respond?

[Author]

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