Unexplained friend / lover cancels and ignores

[TightFit74]

In my opinion it is a matter of courtecy wether you send an explanation or not. I have myself cancelled without explanation, mostly at the beginning. But I have changed my ways and give an explanantion.

I think most people cancel because the 'relationship' isn't current anymore. The lack of contact and maybe finding other friends that fill that gap, relinquish the need for that friendship. People go their own paths.

In this game, where people come, stay a while and then move on, it is hard enough to stay in touch, so I don't really mind if people cancel without a reason. Those are usually the ones I had the least intense contact with. With anyone closer, I'd be surprised to be cancelled without an explanation.

For Evelyn: though it may seem difficult to have an influence on the forum's general thoughts, every opinion is respected. As Lover and HB explained, it doesn't matter whether youare new or a long-time member, if you have a thought or idea about the game, share..

[Evi01]

This is a tricky thread on one side I would say cancelling a relationship is rude without saying why on the other side this is just a game and I dont know anyone of them for real. So do I have to explain myself to someone who wasnt online for three or more month.

I have to clean my list in the next days because there are a lot of people in there which are red everytime I am online.
I will write them and will explain it but I think we shouldnt juge to hard if someone doesnt write you why.

[chien_lubrik]

For Evelyn: though it may seem difficult to have an influence on the forum's general thoughts, every opinion is respected. As Lover and HB explained, it doesn't matter whether youare new or a long-time member, if you have a thought or idea about the game, share..

Hello Sir TightFit64

I really understand well that having an influence over forum's thoughts or habits of forum's peoples may be a desesperate task… hopefully I may say Sir. Because I think that the differents ways of thinking of many different peoples just … make the richness of the community !
With all paying the same points of wiew, or going into any leader's way to think … It will become soon boring … and funless …

I may say too, that having different points of wiew may not lead to unrespect of the other's thinkings … but That's only My point of view too and I may even respect people that don't need to show respects of others … I know .. I may be a little stupid … but Still that's the way I am.

I May say generaly that by expressing my view on differents topics , I have no … not even the idea … of influencing anyone .
I just express my opinion, and that opinion only refer to me . I feel really not clever enough to think that my thinking or opinion is better thaan other one's.
I also think that our opinions upon differents subjects was done upon our education, experiences, talkings … well … life.
I feel so impossible to juge anyone's opinion.

Well Sir and Misters . I also account and please the fact that you pay no care about my ( or other ) newbyness on the forum .
I really thank you, and think that this is a great way, and a reflect of your proper cleverness .
But Still, I found myself … newby … that meen for me that I just arrive, and don't know much about the DreamWorld and communauty.
That way I feel under, Ifor knowledge and skills, the peoples that runs the forum since long … I mean You.

Please accept my apologies if you feel unconfortable with this.

I may said too that the respect I may show for relation cancellation is not the only one I may show.
I think it is the same respect that I try to show when refusing “going in room” for some reasons , or even decline frienship of unknow peoples.

The only thing that may not make me talk some explanation are “cold”things ( cold invite, cold friendship demand … )

Please accept my best humbly regards.

[hentaiboy69]

Evelyn, dear…….

you are pretty kind girl, but maybe (sorry if it can be a bit rude) your personall life experience have make you to much servant. I like your ways of exposing your tough, respectfully and in a simple way, really……but maybe you have to try to be a little more proud of your idea, you are one of us, different, but a real person whit your own feeling.

I’m glad to have you here, like i’m glad for everyone else!

😀

[chasxxx]

Evelyn, hentaiboy hit the nail right on the head with the hammer. someone may not like or  appreciate another's posts, but that doesn't detract from the value of the post or the person posting. you are every bit as important as anyone here. i started a topic on this months ago but can't find it! lol. if anyone sees it, send me a link (inside joke..sorry).

when i first started, i sent TONS of cold invites for friends AND lovers. not knowing how the game worked, i thought having more people on your list would make you more popular and you would have a better chance to get laid. i wound up with 8-10 pages each of lovers and friends, 99% of whom i had never even talked to. upon learning the game, and getting a few good friends, i realized i had to get rid of the clutter. i started out sending messages, but after 10 or 15, i decided they had accepted with no message, so they could leave the same way. mass deletions occured.

now i don't add anyone i haven't at least chatted with a bit (except for the occasional interesting oddball), and anyone i delete definitely gets a message. many if not all on my lists are in different timezones and i don't expect a constant stream of messages. i won't drop any of them for other than gross misconduct. I have 3 or 4 on my list from the first month that i have gotten to know and treasure.  also my first “roomy” on achat. messages aren't necesssary, but they are polite. manners are important in the virtual world and the real world. without them, you won't have friends in either. my 2 cents (us) worth

[kittenlepurr]

Coming back after about 6 months (being in a relationship which ended ) finding my friendships mostly gone is not a big shock. I understand that the idea that friendships are maintained by constant/consistent interraction. While i told most of them that i would be not on the fact they disabled the friendship is not a massive surprise at all.

Under those circumstances you really dont need it explained why some people would cancel the relationship but if in the normal scheme of things they cancel and dont tell you its from my perspective a little rude.

The thing to remember is like already said in previous posts the idea of an achat online friendship maybe different from say a friendship you have with someone face to face. 

[Adera]

@kitten: *hugs* I hope you're holding up.

[taztexan]

I try to keep my friends list as current as possible. Usually only friend someone that I've interacted with at some point. If I have lost contact with that person and have no reason why they are MIA. I'll usually wait before cancelling but not necessarily msg before cancel.  If they are friends I've really gotten to know well. Will msg them to look for me once they come back or let them know what times I can be found here in hopes it's just a schedule mismatch (Timezone differences can suck). Hopefully they will come back.

Lovers I keep to the more intense/compatible partners I've had sessions with and are not as easily canceled. We can't all be online on a regular basis for what ever reason that may be or even available to our lovers at all times. (Spouse would be used for that). A lover is a keeper and unless you've totally moved on from the virtual world of Achat, and I see no hope on your return or you have told me you're not coming back… you'll remain listed on my profile. I even have friends I regard in this way.

Bottom line if we're good for each other, you'll remain and not easily cancelled…

[kittenlepurr]

@kitten: *hugs* I hope you're holding up.

-cuddles- I am its better without him anyway

[Lover]

Good to hear you are ok Enjoy your “new” life

[TightFit74]

Happy to see you back Kitten *smiles warmly*

[taztexan]

Hi kitten, good to see you here and see another active person in the forums. I'm fairly knew here but already pretty well hooked coming here. Look forward to reading your posts and possibly chat sometime..

Take care..

[Luctor]

It's a good idea for me to cancel some of my old friends that I haven't seen for over a year. lol

[jayc]

Like Chas said earlier in this thread ,i too when i was new friended any and all, and ended up with pages of people i really didnt know. the “kid in a candy store” phase. and then like most people  began to settle down and look for quality over quantity. this lead to a spring cleaning of my friends and lovers list. did i send msgs to all i deleted?….no.. should i have? ……….looking back… yes.  i think it comes down to treating people how you would be want to be treated. now i consider all requests before  saying yes or no and have a nice group of friends. the only ones i deny with out expalnation is the “cold relationship requests” i get from total strangers.and maybe thats a little harsh, considering these come from new users for the most part.

[bluedenim]

I'm not sure about posting on this, but here goes…

I have quite a few friends. I never went mad desperately friending anyone. I still make new friends and I hope everyone does.
I have made some friends on the same day I have first spoken to them, others only after meeting several times.
I have never deleted a friend and every time I log on I check them all out to see if they are on-line. If they are I message them, if they aren't and we haven't spoken for a long time, I message them to ask how they are and hope we see each other soon.
I have been deleted from 2 people's friend's lists, one was a good friend who is likely to read this and we both underestand how that came about. the other was someone who is now on my ignore list as he was trying to possess me 100% of the time, but he deleted me, not the other way around.
I too get many “cold” friend requests, but delete them all. I couldn't accept as a friend someone I didn't know even a little in much the same way as I don't respond to cold “room requests” except that sometrimes I will talk to them and tell them not to “cold” people.
I would be deeply hurt if someone deleted me from their friend list and would (did) message them immediately to ask why.

[Author]

Posts