What turns you off in chatting?

[bluedenim]

It might sound wierd, saying this here, but what turns me off, is the hardcore dirty talk… my partner wanting me to call her a bitch, whore, slut, and things of that nature.

The other thing that turns me off, is… NOT talking. I hate pose hoppers.

Hi Trekman xx

At least I've never asked you to use language like that. I  am in agreement with you  and Rukya on this!

[Pafe]

Hiya's…

  Turn off:  After getting contacted by someone then me being expected to carry the conversation after just 2 or 3 lines, which usually goes like this:

  Person:  hi
  ME:  Hiya
  Person:  how are you?
  ME:  Pretty good, thanks… How about you?
  Person:  good, too
  Then silence… Am I supposed to carry the conversation from here?

  Turn off:  I don't know about anyone else… but having terms of endearment used to open the conversation is a turn off for me.  “hi baby”… or even worse  “hi bb”… I have a name, it's Pafe, please use it first… if we build a relationship, then terms of endearment can be used.

  Turn off:  Being called “Mommy” or offers of incest… 

  Big turn off:  Number one though is having the person I'm chatting with suddenly be busy because they went into a room without telling me.  There is no excuse for that.  It makes me feel as though I'm not worth the effort to be polite to.  I usually don't get into conversations with them again, because I know if they did it once, they'll do it again so why waste my time?

Thanks for letting me share,
Pafe

[Bear]

Well I don't “troll” out there for responses too often anymore, I would recommend that any new player understand a couple of points…

One the prospective party you are approaching is likely in conversation…
Two… possibly that party is heavily battereed with chat…

a “hi” isn't a bad thing in my opinion…  I respond to “Hi” a lot…  it's what follows that counts if you get a response..

I think that most will agree,… responding to a “hi” is giving them a chance to make an impression…they should use the opportunity wisely…

Where I get turned off is impatience… that my response is a greenlight and presumption I am going to just immediately room. Worst asking me if I like 3some play and immediately giving me the cold invite … on presumptions of my yes meaning right now… BIG turnoff.

[Luctor]

I don't like cold invites or “wanna fuck” or something like “why don't you accept my invite, bitch” after a cold invite.

I like to chat first with the person to know if there's a click with him/her.

[Rukya]

another thing i dont like , a master who send his sub to ask me for a 3 some . 

[Lover]

I answer to each “hi”. It's ok for me cause the person might be shy or just trying to find out if I'm at my computer. If this person has a meaningful description (banner, country…) my answer is longer. I fthere is just a “nude” profil I also answer “hi” and give the chance to start a chat.

[christinak]

another thing i dont like , a master who send his sub to ask me for a 3 some . 

To me this kind of behavior is irresponsible on the part of a Dominant.  If a sub has given you thier body and soul to enslave then that person is totally in your care.  You should be looking out for their well being at all times.  That includes carefully selecting sex partners for them, not the other way around. 

[bluedenim]

another thing i dont like , a master who send his sub to ask me for a 3 some . 

To me this kind of behavior is irresponsible on the part of a Dominant.  If a sub has given you thier body and soul to enslave then that person is totally in your care.  You should be looking out for their well being at all times.  That includes carefully selecting sex partners for them, not the other way around.   

Mistress Christy, I will tell you of a sub who gets their very pleasure from having just this done to her.

[christinak]

blue,
It's ok to get pleasure from this kind of act.  But a level of control should be maintained at all times. If I send a sub to ask people to come have sex with us, they will always be people I know and have spoken to in advance.  I would never send a sub out “blind” to make these kinds of requests.  For one thing it allows the sub to make choices for the Dominant.  Other Dominants may be ok with this, but I think it weakens the bond between the Dominant and the sub.  And really I think it's just plain rude to send one of my subs to someone I don't know to ask them to have sex with me.  I don't want to be treated that way, so I wouldn't have one of my subs do it either.

blue, I'll send you a PM about another issue.

–Miss Christy

[Bear]

In  RL… I would agree Christy… the nature and setup of this place leaves some issues to be desired. Depending on the sex of the Dom… finding a willing partner to partake in 3some play is sometimes difficult.  Finding individuals willing and happy for strictly 3some play with a sub,… and without prospect of one on one time with her is an issue.  There is a calculated balance there.. I personally feel dommes have a distinct advantage in finding a male partner… most guys would drool at the prospect of 2 women on him….

Using a sub for clod calls provides a slight advantage of an ice breaker….and really I don't necessarily see this as right or wrong… this may happen to fit the pattern of the kink between the Dom and sub.  Each Dom has a specific level of control they wish to exercise…and each sub a level of control they are willing to relinquish. This might fit the dominates end play of absolute anominity of the the 3rd partner.

It's never really fit my style either… I myself desired a good deal more control over the circumstances when I did played it, and though open to suggestions from a sub… took the decision upon myself who played and who did not.

[christinak]

That may be, and I wouldn't tell another Dominant how to handle their sub any more than I would tell a mother how to raise her children.  But like I said, to me anyway, regardless of real world or virtual, it gives the sub mixed signals to be making choices for the dominant.  And I find it rude when I am approached on behalf of a sub, so I don't do it either.  I still find it best to engage the person first myself and then let the sub approach them as though that person was a stranger.  There is little difference in the sub's mind about who they are approaching.  Yet I still am able to be selective about what activities my sub will engage in.

[Brandybee]

Well, I think I might just get a bit put out  that a sub would approach me too on behalf of  a Dom or Mistress …  Seems the Dom or Mistress would be a bit of a wuss if they couldnt ask themselves ….  lol … mmmm  …. doesnt that defeat the object somewhat …  ?

Ask for yourself or dont ask at all 

Anyway that would be the next number on my list ,  after England losing the footy ( Grrr )   lmao

( Number 11, I just checked    )

[kittenlepurr]

For me the sub and domme pov is a little irrelevant. The fact I may be one or the other is totally up to me at the time and dependent on whom I am with in AChat. My preference is the more the versatile … were it is switching back and forth depending on situation.
I can see the arguement of people wanting to control their subs or look out for their subs makes sense. That being said it all comes down to how people lay down the rules of the sub/dom relationship… you can always end it if it doesn't fit.

[sm3369]

I agree with almost everything that has been pointed out here.

I don't get upset if someone suddenly leaves a room or goes busy while chatting, I just don't find it worth to get myself worked up about.

I really dislike the utterly and completely rude remarks from ignorant people that just see me as a thing rather than a person because of who I am or the people that are so enamored with the sexuality of MTF transsexuals that they can only see their own interest and scenarios.

I of course have to answer a lot of questions about my transsexuality and such… I don't mind that but to be honest it's a bit of a turn off to get down to that all the time.

Know exactly what you mean Adera. Listed below are just a few of the select things that have been said to me out here at some point or another.

1.) I've been referred to as a lousy shemale.
2.) I've been referred to as a whore.
3.) I've been told by some of the male members that I was worthless, and that I needed them to show me my proper place in the world.
4.) I've been stalked out here.

These are just a few of the things that I've been turned off by. You know me, & you know damn well the person that I am.

[kittenlepurr]

Know exactly what you mean Adera. Listed below are just a few of the select things that have been said to me out here at some point or another.

1.) I've been referred to as a lousy shemale.
2.) I've been referred to as a whore.
3.) I've been told by some of the male members that I was worthless, and that I needed them to show me my proper place in the world.
4.) I've been stalked out here.

These are just a few of the things that I've been turned off by. You know me, & you know damn well the person that I am.

Hi sm3369.

Those things that they say to you is monstorous in my opinion. I have learnt over time that anything negative that people say towards another is more the reflection on them not on the person they are being negative to. So no matter what they say it can only be put in its appropriate place. The bin or back onto them. They wish to criticise somebody to make themselves bigger and better it simply shows how fragile their ego/sexuality/emotions/psychology/knowledge is. People that have worth in themselves should never need to do that to another and can respect the other.

Everyone has worth … whether we prove ourselves deserving of it or not. Ultimately you have to decide that for yourself.

[Author]

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