Yet Another Soapbox From Janine – Accountable for actions!

[Janine Dee]

(Now that this board is available I decided to post it here.)

It is in my humble opinion that the biggest problem with the world today is that no one is accountable for their own actions.

In the video game thread I mentioned that I am playing GTA 4, one thing that has always followed the GTA series, and in may ways it’s publishers Rockstar is controversy. Parent’s groups are constantly trying to proclaim that kinds are learning bad behavior from their games. Not seeming to question how their kids are getting the games. (I got carded two days ago when I bought GTA 4) or getting the $30-$50 most games cost.

So not only can parent’s not teach their kids to not shoot people, start fires or steal cars they can’t even monitor what their kids are playing or watching or listening to.

And when it’s not parent’s seeking to blame their kids bad behavior on something other then their bad parenting it’s adult’s seeking to excuse themselves from the things they do.

“Oh well my dad abused me.”

“My mom drank.”

And so on, and so on, and so on… I can be sympathetic (honest) but there are countless souls who don’t let that past pain control their actions. A child of abuse is not guaranteed to become an abuser and those who blame their actions on such are discrediting all those who overcome their trauma.

Until a person is 18 they have a greater amount of leniency under the law, and that is how it should be, but once you are eighteen your actions are your own.

While bring your brother’s keeper is one thing the prodigal son didn’t learn a thing until he had the freedom to mess up his own life.

[Marin]

Yet you choose to post these opinions on a site which promotes sexual misbehavior.

Do you actually think that anyone who uses an adult sex porn site actually cares about your soapbox or morals?  Get real.  This site helps people hide behind keyboards and monitors and become anyone they wish to be.  Do you actually think this is the type of site which people are able to be sincere to your feelings.  They will comment, and before you know it you think they care.  Then you wind up in a room with someone, who probably weighs 400 lbs, is sitting in a lazy boy in his moms basement at 45 years old, masturbating as he is watching computer generated sex action-which isnt all that good anyway!  Im sorry if I seem too judgemental but this site almost ruined my marriage.  I was admittingly not giving my wife the support emotionally which she needed, and she wound up here.  As I have read her chats and posts, she was being genuine.  Tallking about her job, our issues and her likes.  All she got back in response was large ammounts of guys praying on her vulnerability.  I now know what I need to do to fix my marriage because of this site.  I would like to help others find their way as well.  I will reach out and use every tool necessarry to do that as long as I can.

[sinnnn]

One this site does not promote sexual misbehavior.  You control yourself, you can't blame a site for your actions.  Just like you can't blame a site for your failed marriage.  This site is suppose to be for fun, there is nothing written here that says we are suppose to be sensere and your therapist.  This is a sex site, not help site so you can't really expect “help” here.  Think about it, you go to a sex site to talk about your life issues, a SEX SITE, what do you expect.  Not to be mean or cruel but have you ever thought that there was something already wrong in your marriage that brought her here.  I find it amazing how ppl want to blame everything and the sun for their problems but don't point the finger where it belongs.  Whole lot can be solved when we take responsiblity for our actions or inactions. 
Like video games, its parents fault for not monitoring what their kids watch.  My kids are not allowed to play violent video games til they reach a certain age and understand that it is a game and if you try this in real life Mommy will hurt you.  Not only that you also have to teach them limitations, stop giving them everything they ask for.  Stop with the weak punishments that don't even fit the crime. You got some kids that steal and their parents will give them warnings, WTF.  You also have some parents that will support their kids in bulling because they think its kids will be kids crap.
Also Janine posted this because she can.  And if you have really paid attention to most of our post, you would have noticed that most of us has become friends.  We are able to joke, fuss and talk about anything here.  Because she has had a bad experience doesn't not mean everyone else has.  I give a fuck about my friends, cause we don't live in the same state or country does not make me less sincere.  Sincerely who would want help from someone who already have a negative view.  Who gives a fuck if someone is 400lbs, this site makes them feel good about themselves then so be it because in realty you have ppl that will joke him.  Here he/she is just is free from being judged by his/her looks just for a few peaceful hours.

PS
The only time sex is a misbehavior is when your partner says no and you ignore them.  Sex is not a sin.  There is nothing wrong with  filling your sexual needs.  Just as long as you understand your limitations. 

[Bear]

Sexual Expression, not mis-behavior

That someone is seeking a reprisal form unhappy conditions is a matter of personal choice. Own up son,…your own sin of putting something above your relationship is of equal sin as that we may do here, (if we see it that way). Recognize your own problems and settle them first,…cause you are again, taking from your own situation to stand on a soap box and judging.

Christ told us, taught us not to judge,..so get off your horse and follow your faith… because when you point a finger, remember, three are pointing at yourself. (and must mention Luke 6:37)

I listen, I share,..I hold my partners in great respect,…I'll spend time listening to music, enjoy their company laugh, listen quietly as they tell me personal concerns, not because I am predatory,… but because they are friends, although distant,…still friends. The avatars are skeletons of the soul,…and the real  physical characteristics are not as important as to how they see themselves in their mind.

I do not judge them for the reasons they are here…but understand. That some do want to find a sense of intimacy missing from their own life. Too often, I ponder, why would someone neglect this person,… wonderful women who are screaming for attention, because their spouse is fixed solely on their own self gratification. Money, careers,…actual adultery,…I'm not validating your wife's action, but I understand why,…and more so as you continue the rant and blame the site…

and…
Seriously doubt you to found much in the chat, but a snippet of interaction, since the activity clears on shut down of a computer and are limited in length between sign ins to the size of the chat box.

[Marin]

I was wondering what this would stir up.  For both sinn and bear, if you read my post you will notice that I take FULL responsibility for my wife straying onto this site.  You will also notice that I sort of rewarded the site for being so easy to detect and log on (it saves passwords and usernames) which enabled me to find out what was going on.  Bear, as far as resetting, incomming messages in the personal message box on this forum do not clear, only outgoing ones do if you dont save them.

Had i been paying attention to my wife for the past 10 years, we wouldnt be having this conversation. 

[Marin]

Had to check the Bible for a second, and my comment about the 400lb person is uncalled for and I appologize.  Bear, without passing judgement taking Bible verses out of context can be bad.    If you continue to read Luke you will find:  “He also told them this parable, “Can a blind man lead  blind man?  Will they not both fall into a pit? Luke 6:39

Jesus did not relieve his folloowers from decerning between right and wrong, but he condemmed the unjust and hypocritical judging of others.  In stating my concerns about this site, while not actively practicing in the sexul acts of this site, I am not a hypocrite.  I am just stating that this sitepromotes sexual behavior and fantasy, which if you are married and participating you are infact committing adultery.

If everyone who normally chats on this stie about regular life experiences is not concerned by the sexual content of this site, why dont we just set up a site, similar in format which has more christian values.

Would any of you let your children log on to this site or forum?  How many of you are hiding this site from your spouse?  Why?  I am thankful that I found out about this site before it became a more serious problem.  Believe me, if you read my wifes inbox, you would knbow what I am talking about.  It really broke my heart.  I have now fogiven her, and am continuing to move foreward.  my posts will probably be limited here soon.  A relationship buitl on fantasy is the same as one which is physcial.  Lust is adultery in the eyes of god.  And I do agree that sex is not a sin, not once did I mention it was, only in the wrong context is it considered a sin.  The beauty of sin is it is understood that we are forgiven because Christ died for our sins, however we do need to acknowledge that we are sinners, repent from our sins, and accept Christ into our lives.  I guarantee that if anyone here goes to church, you would never admit to logging onto this site.  Except for me, I will continue tobe posting as I feel the need to shine the true light on everyone here.  Without passing judgement, if you are on this site, like my wife you are looking for something missing in your life which you wont find here.  I GUARANtee if you turn to god, read your bible and prya, your life will too change!

[sinnnn]

Im sorry if I seem too judgemental but this site almost ruined my marriage.

Well ummmm don't you think you need to go pay attention to her now, than wasting your time on us.  And dude you made her sound like a victim that was preyed on by predators when all she needed was a friend(ON A SEX SITE, DUUUUH).  All of the responsiblity is not bitching about the site.  Also she has to take responsibilty also.  Believe me my mate will hear my mouth about all the problems with our relationship and if he doesn't want to work on it.  Then he suffers the outcome of not listening.  

Now honestly, you need to get the hell off of here and take her out somewhere nice.  Then come home and have wild irresponible sex.  Don't worry about our sin.  Don't make this site that didn't cause damage to your marriage bu you into a crusade.  Make your wife your crusade.  Sweep her off her feet, make her feel beautiful, worry about her.  Your worring about everything else but her.  Now go, take her out NOW.

[Bear]

Nuts and bolts of  it…well said sinnnn,..as the site is what it  is,…if you are looking for something different,…seek elsewhaer.

[Marin]

As I went back and re-read my post, i stated that “This site ALMOST ruined my marriage”  It was hard to get thoughts across with my head scrambled but I really wasnt blaming the site directly.  The content of he site almost made me leave my wife for good.  I really doubt that if Ifound out she was logging into an abused woman chat site (verbal abuse is as bad as physcial abuse) or a christian site, and chatting about our issues- that I would have never considered leaving her.

In a positive note, this site has got my attention to her needs more than a site of other nature would have.  

[Marin]

As I was typing that last response I was thinking to myself ” crap, now Im addicted to this site.  This all happened beginning of Aug, and for the past month my marriage is better than it has been for years.  I was seriously typing away and wondering how I was gong to let this go.  I appreciate the imput sinn and bear have given me.  She was one of your group, maybe you helped her along.  Thankyou and I am done here.

[Bear]

Good luck,…and do rediscover her…as she deserves, and you deserve.

Not back to Janine's post,…yes you are right,…personal responsibility…hate it when I hear “She made me do this,”…”You make me do this…”

We chose how to react…

[sinnnn]

Good Luck.  Take her out dancing. 

Well you make me do it alot Bear.  OHHH wait we never did, lol.

[Bear]

Well I was going to let you tie me up until you laid that paraphernalia on the table… 😮

[sinnnn]

ROTFL.   Kisses Bear, ty 4 the laugh. :-* :-* :-*

But seriously ppl need to own up to there own responsiblity and stop blaming others for their actions.  Its common sense, right from wrong. Even it your parents don't teach you it, its out there.  As soon as you do something wrong someone will point it out.  You can't say that I did not know or I was never taught this.  Somethings, like I said before is common sense(tho some are not born with it).  Own up for your shit, thats what a real man/woman do.  Hell I find it funny as hell when I get caught doing something wrong and I have np saying “Yeah I did it, so what.”(but I am a bully deep down inside with a sick sense of humor so I don't think I count in this).

[Janine Dee]

One of the reasons I didn't first reply to Marin's post, but instead did my best to bury it under 20 or so other posts was because he did two posts one after another, and then waited two hours and came back and posted two more in rapid succession.

That was not someone looking to testify, that was someone looking for a fight.

The fact that it seems to have settled while I was at work is wonderful (though I will comment on his post as well), but I will say this.

A sad truth is that the Bible has been turned from a lantern to light the way into a cudgel used to enforce obedience, and the Messiah has been blasphemed from a teacher into an enforcer.

Though these are human corruptions, and become quickly transparent through study.

[Author]

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