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[anniethyme]

He was a good soul. Hope that soul is at peace on his Harley in the heavens.

[anniethyme]

Guess who's back?

Guess who's back, back again
Granny's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back?
Guess who's back, guess who's back?
Guess who's back, guess who's back?
Guess who's back?

Nah nah Ah.

Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm disgusting
But it's just me I'm just obscene
Cuz it's been so empty without me.

So…

throw me your questions, biches!

[anniethyme]

Dear Foxy,

Thanks for your concern, dearie. Granny also has weird dreams when she eats or has sugar right before bed, but hers involve George Hamilton dressed up like an extra crispy Colonel Sanders and feeding her purple chicken legs by hand in the middle of a turkish bath.

[img]http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/snnMBEv3uQrtBCDAQA9qSQ–/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3NfbGVnbztxPTg1O3c9NDUx/http://media.zenfs.com/en/homerun/feed_manager_auto_publish_494/d6791f8dd704c5f65527b81fb233efd1[/img]
A hunk-a burning chicken love!

Anyhoo,
Some boys I know had a similar dream from eating desert desserts. Maybe their journey will inspire you to figure out your own:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKYUz7kx3jA

Good luck!
Granny

p.s.
…
(Dream spoiler below)
…
…
basically, you want to have sex with Rob Zombie.
…
…
Enjoy!

[anniethyme]

Dear TG and Foxxy,

This is common. Not only does the internet say so, but Megan Trainor too.

I see the magazines working that Photoshop
We know that shit ain't real
Come on now, make it stop
If you got beauty beauty just raise 'em up
'Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top

And if you're still worried… look on the bright side… your partner will have two sizes to choose from, or enjoy both!

Love,
Granny

[anniethyme]

that's eerie, because when I was in the poker room, I was saying we should be able to cum squirt on everyone. Much fun!

[anniethyme]

Hey Haggy Boy,

I found this ad for an item you may want to buy on email. For those parties you go to.
http://mashable.com/2015/06/18/dildo-game-of-thrones-ebay/

Hope you win!

Granny

[anniethyme]

Poker Rooms
Non-premium users cannot talk in there. the one i was in – just 2 guys talking, probably thought we girls were rude, so it felt very awkward. And I still hate that when we are in poker rooms or set as “busy” that our color is “yellow” like being in a private room.

[anniethyme]

the ones who dont speak english well are better than the english ones.

so, that's not the only reason, Nat. and there are some who can't speak english at all, but they still invite and just want to press buttons, that's no different than english ones who do. They can play that way, and I'm not offended by it like many people on the forum are. I just… choose not to play that, its not worth my time.

[anniethyme]

his sexy talk is still better than 80% of achat users.

[anniethyme]

Dear Foxy,

I feel your pain. I have been in your shoes, and now you have to put up with the stink I left in them.

But take heart, all is not lost:

1. Don't talk to him. Write letters. Put them in the mailbox, it will take 2 days til it reaches his address, and 2 days til he can reply to you.
Snail Mail:

2. Don't need him anymore. Get yourself any/all of the following:
and and and and

3. For the hag, I would recommend voodoo dolls, but I used that dark magik on my neighbor once, and he died of a heart attack a few months later. So… just ignore her.

4. To release your anger:

if that does not work, then join the Dark Side:

Hope some of this works!

Love,
Granny

[anniethyme]

Dear Jingy,

Win him back? Brad or your man? It's not a fight, dearie. And if he's this mercurial, he does not sound like a prize I'd want. Then again, this is the downside of Brad being too sexy, but who knew that your man would switch sides, as they say.

A question to consider: Does Brad prefer your man? If so, just throw in the towel now. If not, we have options:

1. Go for Angelina. Seeing if your man will notice this is a good test for his… preclusions. And she could probably use a woman's touch.

2. Take Brad to visit the mechanic. It would be a shame if some of Brad's parts aren't working right, or he breaks down often, iykwim.

3. Trade-in Brad for a newer/older model. Yes, its unfortunate, but boys like Brad are only meant for a fling, rarely long lasting. I'm guessing your man would never touch this one:

Good luck dearie, keep me updated.

Love
Granny

[anniethyme]

Dear JayC Penny,

You caught me. I'll fess up to it.

It was what you younguns would call a pot party. It began with a dozen live chickens – Alice killed em, Vincent plucked em, and Sanders fried em.
Imagine a mixture of weed, fried chicken and a bit of naughtiness while watching the House on Haunted Hill.

Granny

…

Woody,

Yes, exactly. Why would I get back here when there are no questions?

Granny

[anniethyme]

Dear Kaitlyn,

Ahhhh the good old days. When men were men and sheep were afraid. When you could put a nickel in the nickelodeon and hear your favorite new song.

Yes, people had to bow their heads and pray on many occasions.

Church:
[img]https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRt2c6-URuuAeOBVCabCNieHt8EymDWGmDmTg7ROduugyarBD1l[/img]

Knightings:

Baseball Games:

French Revolution:

As for daddies never going away, well…. daddies did not stay at home and be Mr. Mom, no.

So they had to go away often. Usually just to work for the day, either in a factory or office.

Sometimes on long trips. Especially if he was a sailor, in war time. They couldn't wash their clothes often.
[img]http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTA2OVgxNjAw/z/yFEAAOxyVaBSxgoM/$_1.JPG[/img]

And sometimes they go out to the doctor and never return. But then a 2nd mom comes home instead.
[img]http://i1.wp.com/radaronline.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/bruce-jenner-transformation-pp-2.jpg?fit=551%2C9999[/img]

Ah, the good ole days.

Love,
Granny

[anniethyme]

Tommy,

Never be hesitant to send me foolish questions. Those are the best kinds. I am jealous that I cannot attend said party with you, surely they need a Queen of Thorns. Oh well, let me know how it is.

Woody,

Thank you, dearie. I shall tattoo your # on my palm so its ready if I get booked again.

Brandy,

WHERE DID YOU get that video??? They told me they'd delete it after we had our fun. Damn liars!

Jinger,

Did you get a sausage pizza delivered to you? Oh my, I forgot to tip the delivery guy. I hope he made it.

[anniethyme]

Dear Haggis-Loving Tommy,

1. I was on Spring Break. Duh…..
[img]https://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/bikini-grandmother.jpg?w=650[/img]

2. I went to Google, typed in image search “haggis”, then pointed to the 7th picture result. You should try it sometime. Warning: there are many other pictures of said item atop lettuce. It's called GOOGLE. http://www.google.com is the address. Then go to the image tab. Tell your friends too!

3. Oh yes, dearie. I'm surprised you don't already know some yourself.
If it hardens, it makes a nice rugby ball.

If it hardens, paint a scaley design in green, yellow or red and bring it to a Game of Thrones party as your dragon egg.

And if its still soft, and your wifey is away, its a good flesh-sack. You ever see the movie American Pie? Like that.

Love,
Granny

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