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I'm signing, too.
I do marketing research for a living, and I find it really odd for a company to not comply with the wishes of a group of customers who have been begging to spend their money for products that the company produces. I know they said “We're working on it.” … and I know that they can't just pop these things out a machine, but you would think (and hope) that there would be dedicated teams for each product (i.e. orientation)… AND… that those teams would be familiar with the clientele they produce the product for.
Seeing that there is no one at the microphone, I make my move. Standing in front… I tap it… “Is this thing on?”
I want to relate to everyone the miracles of modern medicine. Things are so advanced these days that it's mind boggling.
My niece had a baby last week. A bouncing baby boy. I know that this makes me some sort of uncle again, but I'm not sure if it's once removed or whatever.
The thing is that when I went to see them in the Maternity Ward of the hospital, I stopped by the room where they keep all the babies and looked through the window. There was one poor baby in there that had its eyes bandaged.
“That's a tough way to start a life.” I said to the doctor who was standing at the window.
He told me the baby was born without eyelids, but they performed a skin graft and attached skin for new eyelids. I thought that was fantastic and asked where they got the skin from for the eyelids. He told me they used the foreskin from the baby's penis.
He told me they expected the baby to make complete recovery, and since they used skin from the infant itself, there wasn't much chance of a rejection. “The baby will be fine.” He said. “He'll just be a little cock-eyed.”
I go to leave and go back to the mic and say: “I forgot to warn everyone. It seems that the dwarves have tunneled out a room underneath the bar room. Their means of egress is that panel at the end of the bar…. and it seems the little buggers have some sort of a peep hole or some other way of knowing when a lady is present. Heh, heh… sorry Lady Azrielle.”
yesterday i visited another forum and saw an interessant option .
Its an option to go dirrectly at the bottom of a page ( if you are at the top ) and to go dirrectly to the top of a page ( if you are at the bottom)
this could be interesting to have this option here as the pages are sometimes really long ( Ex : the pages of the achat tattler , or the little concept art one )
What do you think of it ?
Ummmm…. Errrrrrr… Ahhhhh… most of us already have that feature. For me it is on my keyboard. Two keys… one is marked “Home” that takes you to the top of the page… the other is under the home key and is marked “End”. That takes me to the bottom of the page. I'm not sure how keyboards for different languages are set up, but I'm sure somewhere on your keyboard those two keys exist.
EDIT: Those functions will work on almost any program you are running, the AChat Forum, your text editor, even drawing programs or that racy online novel you're reading. Also, in your profile of the Forum you can change your setting in the Preference and Layout to have the latest post at the top of the page instead of the bottom. I had that set for a while, but changed it back to the default setting (latest post at the bottom) I get more of a surprise that way.
“Sweet! More supplies.. gotta keep my hands busy… and speaking of sweet. Red dress and black heels… whoa… there are some very pretty ladies here tonight!”
“You put your left foot in… you put your left foot out… you put your left foot in and shake it all about… do the hokey pokey and turn yourself about… that's what it's all about.”
“What if the hokey pokey really IS what it's all about?”
“I gotta go put this order in. Oh yeah… speaking of the dwarves… the buggers are off in the Ice House somewhere, so be careful when you enter… they like to play tricks.”
Slow.. just take it easy and go with the flow.
Here's a fun tip for all you guys while spurting the jizz. Click on your “excitement meter” quickly when the orgasm is just about over… you know, to reload the cum. If you do it right, it gets stuck and the cum keeps spurting and spurting and spurting. You can change actions and you keep jizzin'… if you change poses though it resets. I glazed Robot Girl like a donut that way… almost complete coverage.
But… don't do it too long. If you do, the balls on your avatar start to shrink and eventually they get sucked up into the body and if you keep going like that it forms a singularity which creates a black hole and swallows not only you, but your lover and the entire room. Then you have to reboot.
Have fun!
Standing at the end of the bar, I reach down and quietly give a few distinct raps on a panel in the base of the bar. A few knocks come from inside the bar's base, and I rap a few more times. The panel slides down into the floor and Grumpy's face is there. “What do you want?”
“Shhhhhh… not so loud.” I whisper, “I need a couple of you lads to give me a hand with something. Once we're finished, I think all of you should go into the Ice House tonight and have some fun.”
“Okay.” He says quietly. “Happy, Sneezy. Go with him.”
After we finished, all the dwarves, dressed as Chippendale Dancers, wearing tuxedo slacks, suspenders and a collar with a bow tie, hustle off to the “secret” door to the Ice House.
“Have fun in there lads,” I say to them, “and remember… there's a prize to the one who can swat the most behinds. Dopey, I'm counting on you to keep score. Now… off with you.”
They open the door and hurry inside. I catch bits of conversations from all the voices about who's behind should be swatted first, and the most. “Wait until they see the size of Dopey's… ” The door closes and I go back inside the AChat Bar and Grill whistling the “Heigh ho” song.
The sound of a whip cracking echos through the halls of the Ice House. A creaking sound of wooden wheels rolling on stone floors. Another crack of the whip and a shout of “SING, DAMN YOU! SING!” followed by another crack of the whip.
Small voices start up a song… barely audible at first, then steadily growing louder… “Heigh ho! Heigh ho! We're off to the burlesque show… we'll pay two bits to see two tits. Heigh ho! Heigh ho!” The creaking of the wooden wheels grow louder along with voices singing the song.
“Heigh ho! Heigh ho! It's off to the burlesque show. We'll drop our drawers and fuck some whores. Heigh ho! Heigh ho!”
Suddenly a dwarf appears in the torch light wearing only his hooded hat and a bright yellow thong and boots. He's harnessed to two more dwarves that are behind him.
Another crack of a whip. “Heigh ho! Heigh ho! It's off to the burlesque show. At 10 'til 8, we'll fornicate! Heigh ho! Heigh ho!”
More dwarves come into view all wearing the same style bright yellow thong, boots and hooded hats. They're pulling a great wooden wagon with logged upright rails. The wagon holds a heavy wooden cross and a huge wheel.
“LADY AZRIELLE” I yell out over the singing of the dwarves. “YOUR ORDER OF THE GREAT WHEEL AND CROSS HAS ARRIVED!” I pull back on the reigns and the dwarves come to a halt and I bound off the wagon. The dwarves continue to sing.
“Heigh ho! Heigh ho! It's off to the burlesque show. I paid my buck, now where's my fuck…”
“Okay fellows… you can stop singing now and unload Lady Azrielle's goods. We need to put up the cross and anchor it, and the wheel goes over there,” I say to them pointing. “And everything needs to be strong.”
The dwaves quickly unharness themselves and set off to their work. “Now fellows,” I say to them, ” do a good job for Lady Azrielle. She has promised you one of her NSPD officers to play with, so don't disappoint her. If you do a really good job, she may give you lads two officers.”
“OH BOY!” They all cheer. The dwarves and I set the wheel into place and make sure the wheel tips and rotates freely and easily and that the locking mechanism works properly. Then we put the cross into it's stone fitting built into the floor and anchor it into place. It's very loud with hammering, sawing, cursing, chains rattling, dwarves grunting. After about 2 hours we are finished with the wheel and cross and the dwarves are spreading the fresh straw from the back of the wagon all over the area.
“Now lads, under the seat of the wagon is some sawdust. I want you to spread that around the area, too. It's more asorbent than straw and will make it easier to sweep up. It looks like there's going to be a lot of sweating going on here.”
Once finished we turn the wagon around and stand back to admire our work. “Well Doc,” I say to one of the dwarves, “the cross is erected and it's a job well done.”
“Yeah.” He says to me. “That's quite an erection.” They harness themselves to the wagon and Bashful turns and says. “Do you think they will let us come back?”
“Sure Bashful.” I say. “They want you to come again and again and again… LET'S GO LADS!” A crack of the whip and they start pulling the wagon. More singing and it fades out going down the hall.
“Heigh ho! Heigh ho! It's off to the burlesque show. At half past eight we'll masturbate. Heigh ho! Heigh ho!”
The Ice House once again falls silent.
He's calling for Injun Joe.
I returned after about 3 hours and made some alterations to the donut machine. “Hey JayC… check this out. I made a modification to the donut machine… Let me have a bottle of rum, will ya?” He hands me a bottle. “You open the bottle… throw the cap away… place the bottle in the holder like this.” The bottle goes in inverted. “Now you set the new dial on the front to the rum setting… press the button, and Wingo! The donuts come out rum soaked and the creme filling is now rum infused.”
I taste one… “Whoa…. this is even better than I thought… I swear I just saw an angel flutter by heading toward the showers. I better not have any more of these.”
“Know what I forgot? We need a PA system for the pudding pit out back… so we can have an announcer… you know… 'In this corner….'” I hand him a material list… “I need an okay to order all this.”
Well that's unexpected, but I think I will get a free evening outside … Lord !!… I remember that I am dressed like a punk !!! hi hi hi
But I have my … normal dress in the rear of my Smart … and no place to change … I surely not visit the toilets of this place ! !HEY!!!I resent that comment!! I keep this place sparkling and so clean you can eat your honey off the floor! Or anywhere else you want. Except the bull is makeing a rumbling noise… I gotta fix that.
*******************************I pull an old newspaper out of my back pocket and examine a picture with it. My jaw drops… my shoulders slouch… I can feel the color draining from my face.
Putting the newspaper back into my pocket, I look at Miss Brandy, and hand her back the magnifying glass… “I'd like to… but I'm not sure. I need a stiff drink.”
I head to the bar and say to JD. “I need a drink… Root Beer… no… wait… something stronger. Make it a Sarsaprilla.” I down it quickly. “I need to take a walk and clear my head.” I slip into my jacket and leave the bar.
I poke my head back into the bar. “I did hear her…. beautiful singing voice and nice to look at.”
*knock*knock*knock… I rap on Brandybee's office door, then turn the knob and open the door very slightly, without looking in. “Aaaah, Miss Brandy?” I ask. “I have a few ideas I'd like to run by you. One is a covering shed for the dumpster out back, since we have a nice fire pit and pudding pit now, covering the dumpster will make the whole area more aesthetically pleasing. Someone made a suggestion about adding some bleacher seating around the wrestling pit, that's a good idea, but it will require some building supplies. Also, there is a need for some new storage shelving in the back room.”
I continue, “The mechanical bull has developed a slight rumbling that shouldn't be there. I can order some replacement parts for it, along with the new updated control box that allows for more diverse movement in the bull. Only I'll need your okay to order these things and begin the work… and… do you have a magnifying glass I could borrow?”
I swept and mopped the entire AChat Bar & Grill, and emptied all the waste bins, except the ones in the offices. The dumpster out back could use a covering shed, to make it less of an eyesore. I should run that idea past the ownership… also, the storage room could use a new shelving unit. I'll put in a request for some material.
I come back inside and go up to the bar… “Hey JayC, do you have a magnifying glass back there that I could borrow?”
Holy cow… the place is empty. This is a good time to sweep up. Stack the chairs on the tables, get out the broom and sweep, sweep… sweep.
What the heck is this? Jizz? I better mop after sweeping… the back room, too… I don't know what happened in there, and I don't think I want to know.
Sweep, sweep… sweep.
Once again at the microphone….
What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl? A cock that stays up all night. What do you get when you cross a rooster with an M&M? A cock that melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
I need to make some gizmos for the BUNNY DIV, Space Patrol…. I'll be back later.
My arm is in a sling, and my head is bandaged.
There once was a woman names Lorella… who had sex with an ape in a cellar… She said that stupid baboon… came too bloody damn soon… but then, so does the average fella.
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