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[Covems]

Congratulations

I love the name, it reminds me of one of my favorite songs:

And we'll all go together
To pick wild mountain thyme.
All around the bloomin' HEATHER
Will ya go, Lassie, go.

I wish you nothing but happiness.

[Covems]

… again at the microphone…

Its Muppet Time!  What did Miss Piggy say to the muppet?    I can't talk now.  I've got a frog in my throat.    What's green and smells like Miss Piggy?   Kermit the frog's face.    Why does Miss Piggy use a honey and vinegar douche?    Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

[Covems]

During a lull in the action… I walk up to the microphone and give it a few taps… “Is this thing on?”

“It's tough to find…  For love or money…  A joke that's clean…  And also funny.           How do you circumcise a whale?                              Use Four skin divers.”            “The ideal man is like a beluga whale.     He has a four-foot tongue and can breathe out of a hole in the top of his head.   Thank you… I'll be here all week.”     

[Covems]

Alrighty then… we got the pit finished and it's a good one.  So let the games begin… it is well padded for plenty of rasslin', floor drains and a hose bib for easy clean up.  We installed a couple of shower stalls for the combatants to rinse off in.  We also found some old work boots that somebody threw out.  We planted morning glories in them, so the vines can grow up around the shower stalls.  I always plant morning glories in the old work boots, that way if Eva does come and take a plant, I'll know she'll have flowers.

So a round of sarsaprilla for the little guys and I'll have something stronger.  A nice, ice cold Ginger Beer!  It's a sippin' sodie pop!

[Covems]

What you are discussing here reminds me of a “Box Social”.  It's the same thing, only different, if you get my drift.  I have a great story about a Box Social gone awry that I would love to share with you.  I'll post it in the Erotic Story section, even though it's not erotic.

Anyway… sounds like something fun for a good cause, and even though I'm only worth about 2 dollars on a good day,  count me in.

[Covems]

Sure… I'll build the pit for you.  I can make it 15 foot x 10 foot by 2 1/2 feet deep.  We can rough in the underground for a floor drain at each end.  The drains will have strainers and be sealable.  We'll install 2 shower stalls with Insta-hot water heaters (saves money since there is no tank of water to heat). 

We'll line the pit with the same padding they use underneath artificial turf fields and up all the walls and on the decking around the pit. (we don't want anyone to bash their heads)  We can also install a hose fitting off of the shower plumbing so once the events are concluded, simply open the floor drains, attach the hose to the fitting, turn on the water and hose the pit down.  Makes for an easy clean up.

There's only a little underground to be run.  And the water piping should only take a day.  There's another day for the shower stalls to be secured and the block for the pit to be layed (it needs a day to set).  Another day for the padding and liner.  Then install the trim for the drains.

We should be finished and ready to wrestle in 3 days after material delivery.  Unless Grumpy starts acting up.

We'll need:
160 block
160lbs mortar mix
4 yards sand

15 foot x 10 foot by 2 1/2 foot deep pit.  1- 2″ floor drain, with strainer at each end with screw top fittings for sealing.  4 lengths of 3/4″ copper tubing… fittings… solder and flux… 3- 3/4″ ball valves.  Insta hot water heater… hose adapter.  Hose with nozzle. 2 shower stalls, 2 water diverters, 2 shower heads (adjustable water savers).   Standard artificial turf padding.  Water impermable membrane with sealant and glue.  And a small pool A frame ladder for egress in and out of the pit.  And plenty of Sarsaparilla for the crew.
Here's a picture of my crew.  They're the best in the business.

Please do not give alcohol to these guys.  The results would be disasterous.

[Covems]

Holy Crap!!  You take the kids to Disney World for a week and when you come back all heck has broken loose!  The Forum has been rearranged, the heat has come down on the AB&G.  I got Eva's sending me roses and kisses and one of the crazy ladies has gotten even crazier!

But… I brought some friends back with me I want you all to meet.

Moonie… maybe these guys are more your speed…  lol.

[Covems]

I get some kindling and some wood.
  Lets try this thing out.
There is something about just sitting next to a fire.

[Covems]

I love to use my hands… build things.  Heading out to help with the firepit.

“Princess Miriabele helped free the Rabbit Emperor from the traps of Farmer MacKenzie.  Then she got the rabbits to help defend MacKenzie's farm from the evil trolls.”  I say to no one.  “But it was the Battle of Heather Clearing against the trolls and Pyrates where she really shone.” 

[Covems]

First thing I thought of was:

Over dare…. Over dare….
Send da word, send da word over dare…
Dat de Yanks are coming…  De Yanks are coming…
Da dwums are dwumming everywhere!

… but then I thought.

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

ROPE FLAY  = one word

[Covems]

                           

          Darn it all Rukya!! … you're the one we all wanted to watch!!!

[Covems]

Out there… There's a world outside of Yonkers.  Way out there beyond this hick town, Barnaby… There's a slick town, Barnaby.  Out there… Full of shine and full of sparkle… Close your eyes and see it glisten, Barnaby… Listen, Barnaby… Put on your Sunday clothes, There's lots of world out there.  Get out the brillantine and dime cigars.  We're gonna find adventure in the evening air.  Girls in white in a perfumed night… Where the lights are bright as the stars!  Put on your Sunday clothes, we're gonna ride through town… In one of those new horsedrawn open cars.  We'll see the shows at Delmonicos…And we'll close the town in a whirl.  And we won't come home until we've kissed a girl.    We wanna take New York by Storm!  We'll join the Astors… At Tony Pastor's… And this I'm positive of… That we won't come home… No we won't come home… No we won't come home until we fall in love!!

[Covems]

*rushing up to the bartender*
“I GOT IT!!!  I GOT IT!!!  I GOT IT!!! 
I OPENED MY MESSAGES AND THERE IT WAS!!! 

Not just a KISS but a
“KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS”!!!
And… get this… There were more kisses!  From real ladies!!
I'm so happy I want to sing!!”

[Covems]

Sorry Miss Brandy… I ain't much for singin' right now…

I call the bartender over…  “Another sarsaparilla, please.”  I ask, “And make it a double.”
The bartender replies… “Got troubles?” 
“May I ask you something?”  I ask.
“I've been stuck in here for days.  It's a long story, but since I have time…  You see… way back in early March, when I was strolling the streets of AChat as a lowly “free user”, I was conducting a survey for “The Two Crazy Ladies”, that was posted somewhere in the forum by one of the aforementioned crazy ladies.  I had a set of questions I was asking… they were about time… just to get an idea of how “free users” were treated. 

Anyway… to make a long story short.  I stopped by one particular person… (oh, let me tell you, she was so pretty) I asked her the question and we actually had a small chat.  She had and still has a “spouse”, but she was so nice to me that I sent her a message when she was off line, thanking her for being so nice.

She sent me a reply that had just one word.  “KISS”  When I read it, my entire body went limp and I had a schoolboy “crush” daze about me.

Anyway… I kept that message.  I started every AChat session with that “KISS”… that is until a few days ago.  You see… I was deleting some messages and… HORRORS!!!  I inadvertantly deleted that one… * deep sigh *  I had that “KISS” since March 11th and now it's gone.

I took it upon myself to boldly ask her for another “KISS”.  In my message explained what had happened, how I foolishly let that “KISS” slip into the delete bin.  Now, I have to wait.  If I'm on when she comes on and she sends me the “KISS” while I'm on I won't be able to save it.  So you see my dilemma… I can not be on AChat… oh, I have a couple of friends watching to see if she goes on AChat, and I pop in for a minute to see if there are any messages, but I can not stay on.  So… Is it alright if I wait here?  I could sweep up if you need some help.”

[Covems]

I get up from my stool… and sneak onto the stage between sets of the band. I tap the mic… “Is this thing on?”

“There once was a Librarian who was taking a flight to see her sister in Pittsburgh.  While the Librarian was in the airport, going to her gate, she passed a machine that had signage that read:  'Get your weight and fortune told.  One Cent.'

This intrigued her, so she opened up her purse and hunted in her change for a penny.  She got on the machine and inserted the penny into the slot.  “Ding”… and a little card popped out of another slot.  She took the card and examined it.  It read:

“You are a Librarian.”

“Well, that's right.”  She thought to herself.

“You are 5 foot 5 inches tall.”

“Yes.”  She said.

“You weight 155 pounds.”

“Again correct.  How does it know?”

“You are going to pass gas”.

“Nonsense”, she thought to herself.  “I don't feel any pressure…”

Just then she felt a rumbling begin in her gut.  She knew that she was on a build up to flatulance.  The Librarian hurried to the ladies rest room, and quickly went into a stall.  Lowering her pants and panties she sat down quickly and just then… “Brrraaaaaaaaappppppppppppp”  The loudest and longest passing of gas she ever had happened.

She finished in the john and washed up in the sink, straightened her appearance, regained her composure and headed back to her gate. 

She stopped in front of the machine again and stared at it.  “How did it know?”  She wondered.  She opened up her purse and fished out another penny.  Stepping on the scale she inserted it into the coin slot.  “Ding.”  Another card popped out.

She read it.  “You are a Librarian.  You are 5 foot 5 inches tall.  You weight 155 pounds.  You are going to get an uncontrollable urge to screw.”

“No way.”  She thought, just as it hit her.  She had to find someone… she had to have wanton, wild sex.  She saw a maintenance man.  She rushed at him, grabbing him by the hand and whispered hotly into his ear.  “Fuck me”.

Happy to oblige, he took her into the bowels of the airport, known only to the maintenance people.  And there she had wanton, wild sex with him.  Not once… not twice… but three times!!

After again regaining her composure she straightened her clothes out, fixed her hair and again headed for her gate.  She was passing by the machine, staring at it.

“It's been right on everything so far.”  She couldn't help herself.  She opened her purse and took out her last penny.  She stepped on the scale and slid the penny into the slot.  “Ding.”  The card popped out.

Nervously she reached for it and read it: 

“You are a Librarian.  You are 5 foot 5 inches tall.  You weigh 155 pounds.  You have farted and fucked around and missed your flight.”

Thank you… I'll be here all week. 

[Author]

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