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Some thoughts I had on training as I re-read this.
First is that a great deal of instruction whether it be for Dominants or submissives is done more often in a one on one sort of format. The reason for that is more practical then anything as those first steps are often very nerve-wracking, and done easier with only one other person present, but there is also the simple truth that there can be a great many concerns that make a large house like in The Story of O impractical. (The sad truth is that a great many locations have laws that make consenting BDSM illegal despite that consent,)
Secondly is that the training is only the beginning. While to this day I have always felt my initial instruction was excellent even as it was happening it was my growth as I had those experiences that helped make me into the Domme I am today. christinak's sharing of her discovery of her nature as a switch is an excellent example.
Perhaps a good way to think of training is like when you learn to walk, or ride a bike. Most of the time you'll have someone there to encourage you on, and catch you if you stumble, but ultimately you are the one who gets moving, and keeps moving.
Thirdly is that you will have those elitist types who feel that the way they were trained is the only “real” way someone should be trained. They can be safely ignored, or maybe even directed to someone who holds the opposing viewpoint so you can watch them rip each other apart.
There is no definite about how to approach anyone about anything sexually.
Two major pointers though.
-“Can I watch?” Is a real life cliche. The biggest problem with it is that those usually asking seem to think it more live action porn then two people (who happen to both be women) being INTIMATE. So the approach had best take into account both women are sharing something special, and you need to respect that. The freewheeling nature of AChat helps, but it's like an infinitely more complex normal approach, if you are not respectful, you are likely to fail.
-The idea that they will just watch isn't a trusted one. Sure the guy may swear it up and down, on both parent's graves, but once things get going the expectation will be that the guy will start wanting to join. Try to give them a reason to trust you, I honestly can't say what that would be as trust is a highly individual thing.
Most importantly, don't push, any discomfort on their part is going to be a mood killer whether it be in chat in advance or in the room as it happens.