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[vinicius]

I know a lot of people get off on just playing around with the different poses, however, I'm not one of these. Therefore I would like to offer a few friendly pointers that might help make your experience more exciting while making love in a virtual world.

A few facts:

• While having sex in a virtual world you do not get the physical touch from your partner, so in order to enhance your experience you need to replace this with emotions and imagery.
• The virtual world is never going to offer you all the poses and positions you would like to try. To achieve the desired effect you will have to “proxy” it, meaning you select the closest match and describe the rest.
• In difference to real life, where you are present at the actual act of having sex, having cybersex means you try to experience things through an avatar while sitting in front of your computer. Hence you need to care for your pleasure in real life while you provide sufficient stimuli for your partner through typing. This can be quite difficult, but I'll try to offer some advice later on.

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Descriptive sex:
There are, as far as I know, two types of descriptive sex: where you describe your feelings and actions in real life, and where you describe the feelings and actions of your avatar. I usually use code to mix the two in order to provide as much stimuli to my partner as I can.

The codes I use are the following:

• Actions or feelings that my avatar does are proceeded with a “*” sign. Example: *I move closer to you, rest my head on your shoulder, and sigh happily*.  Example 2: *My face twists in agony as you twist my nipples*
• Dialogue is used with no proceeding sign, although exceptions may need to be made during roleplay. If a roleplaying session has started and I'm started to get emerged in the story I find it helpful to simply put out of character dialogue within brackets to make it clear to my partner that it is not a thing my avatar is telling him/her. Example: (give me a moment, I'll be right back)
• Actions and feelings that I do in real life are within brackets: ( ). Example: (Give me a moment while I undress). Example 2: (I am going to masturbate for a while so I might not type for a bit). Example 3: (Orgasm, fingers shaking, sticky, can't type… cleaning)

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Roleplaying:
I find virtual sex to be a lot better, and easier, if I'm immersed in a role. I might decide with my partner beforehand on a story that we are playing out, we might decide upon the roles and a short background story. Some of the great sessions I've had have been quite elaborate and lasted for several 4 hour sessions (yes, roleplaying sessions can get quite long). What I find makes virtual sex easier through roleplaying is that you have things to talk about, and things to describe, during sex if you play a role.

Example 1: I've played a sweet and innocent girl who lost her diary. The diary was picked up by a pervert who used it to blackmail me into becoming his sex slave. That's all the details we needed to get started, and then the story just evolved from there. (For those interested: he blackmailed me into having sex with him once, he filmed it, sent the video to my character's boyfriend who then left me but not before giving the video to my parents who then kicked me out. Thus forcing me to seek shelter elsewhere, but without other contacts I ended up living as a sex slave with the guy who blackmailed me in the first place)

Example 2: I've played very simple roles too. One started out with me having a broken sandal, and a guy on the street offered to fix the strap in his apartment. Once there he started to seduce me. What was interesting here was that I could talk about how I was on my way to school, how sweet he was for fixing the sandal, and how I wanted to reward him for his kindness. We automatically had things to talk about, and my partner could describe his apartment and how he seduced me based on what he knew about my character.

You do not have to create long background stories (although I've been with people who've written several pages in preparation for a session with me). Just having a scene, a role, and describing what you say and so goes a long way to achieve immersion.

Descriptive Roleplaying Sex:
It's very difficult to convey emotions and provide stimuli to a stranger. What descriptive roleplaying gives you is immersion, which helps put a person in a certain mindset. It is a lot easier to relate to a fictive role than an actual person, and I believe it is because we base our fictive roles on known concepts. These concepts can help you with dialogue, can help you describe what you do, they can cause you to feel certain things you otherwise wouldn't feel, and they can give you a very powerful orgasm (the best orgasm I ever had was actually during cybersex and not during real sex).

Example:
Woman: *I knock on the door* Hello? You called me and said you found my diary
Man: Yah, come on in *looks at the lovely young girl as she enters and offers a sly grin*
Man: I decided I want a reward for handing it over
Woman: r..reward? Uhm, I… I suppose I could give you *looks in my wallet for some money*
Man: No, not that kind of reward *moves closer and grabs hold of the girl's arm*
Woman: *chocked* Hey, let go of me!

… I think you get the picture, gonna spare you the rest of the story as I'm sure not everyone want to read about a girl being blackmailed into becoming a sex slave. I happen to like it though… These dialogues can continue into the sex act, or you could let your characters turn silent and just describe what you do, how you touch your partner, how you tease, etc. Or, you could mix dialogue with descriptions, whatever you feel comfortable with.

Pleasing yourself and your partner:
It is very important to me that I manage to please my partner, and that I manage to please myself. I never have cybersex unless I intend to actually get a real life orgasm. So, when do you find the time to masturbate etc. while typing so much? I suppose that's where the time aspect comes in. If you just want a quick orgasm you might as well watch porn.

The whole point with cybersex is the buildup, or at least that's what I think. During the whole buildup, during the roleplay, you might get a few opportunities to masturbate, but you don't really need that much time once you get into it. Once you're into the act of having sex I'm sure you'll be so turned on that you only require a minute or two to climax. And for that amount of time you can just tell your partner to keep going while you masturbate.

Of course men have the advantage of being able to please themselves without getting their hands messy (until it's over that is). Women, like me, might not be so lucky as my fingers tend to get sticky, however, I can use a vibrator which is a bonus. Just be respectful of each other and allow your partner enough time to reach climax. After all, it's supposed to be a pleasurable experience for both, right?

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I hope you have enjoyed this little guide to cybersex, and please feel free to comment. I don't claim to have all the answers, I just wanted to share some of my own experiences…

[vinicius]

Im starting to wonder if it isn't a firewall problem. Im not very tech savvy but I do understand enough to change the settings of the firewall, like you have suggested. I am going to wait a while and perhaps it will fix itself… yeah i know, not likely, but im not sure what else to do. Thanks for your help though!

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